Why Must It Always Die?
by xxxthecheekymanxxx
Summary: After years of training, Ash Ketchum has entirely given up on what he thought was his dream. Aimless and in despair, he arrives on Castelia City, on the Unova Region. There he spends a week full of bittersweet misadventures, encounters old friends, and meets new people, before it all ends with him alone in bed. However, even then he must realize it isn't all over for him.
1. Chapter 1

These days nobody cares about having fun, it is all about winning. I promise you, they don't care. A couple of trainers told me as much, and all of them act the same way. Now it's all about dull strategies and finding the next big thing that makes you unbeatable, until some other clown finds a way to beat you. It's all the same, and they made it that way. They ruined it.

But that's not why I left, I just wasn't doing very well. Everyone who saw me told me my heart wasn't in it anymore. My friends told me I was capable of much more, and that I needed to apply myself the way I knew how, but I left anyway. It felt awful, I'm not gonna lie, a little like I was betraying myself. But it's not like I had a choice about it. I hated feeling like that and I still left. That's how I know I had to do it. I remember feeling awful on the plane ride to Unova, where another plane would take me to my home town. My mom didn't even know I was coming back, and I really didn't want to see her and tell her what had happened, it felt like it would be the end of me, like something would stop and never come back. And I also didn't want to see her face, let alone make her feel awful. Anyway that's how I felt during the plane ride.

When it landed and I arrived in Castelia I had a lot of time to kill, a whole day, so I decided to visit an old friend of mine who happened to be in town. I still felt awful though. I think the best way for me to get my spirits up is to hang out with my friends, but at that point I didn't want to see anybody, and I really didn't want them to see me like that. I was going to catch up with my friend only because I knew she'd appreciate it, and I was sure she knew what had happened to me, and that I'd land in Castelia. So it's not like I had much of a choice anyway. Besides, I didn't spend my whole time there feeling awful, in fact I couldn't, because simply being there reminded me of my friends Iris and Cilan, who I once traveled all around Unova with. During our travels we spent a lot of time together on Castelia City. There we met the local gym leader Burgh, who's still kicking it along with his bugs. And I specially remember the time when my sewaddle evolved into Swadloon and helped me get the insect badge from him. I remember I was really excited, both from my victory and from my pokemon evolving. I used to love it when any of my pokemon evolved, and the rush of happiness that I used to get from seeing them transform from one thing to another, like pure magic, used to last me for days, even weeks. At some point I stopped liking it so much, and not long afterwards I stopped liking it altogether. You could even say I started hating it, when my pokemon evolved. Perhaps I started hating how much I dreaded it happening. By the end I hated it, when one of my pokemon evolved, more than everything else in the world. It felt wrong to me. And that's probably why my pokemon stopped evolving. And that's probably why I had so much trouble to get better. But I didn't leave because I was weak. If that had been the case I probably would have left much, much sooner.

Anyway that memory got my spirits up as I walked towards the house where my friend was staying, which belonged to another friend of hers named Caitlin. You may know her as a former member of the elite 4 from Unova. Even though her house was close to the airport the walk felt awfully long to me, I was sort of looking forward to it, but it only took me a few minutes to start feeling the cold. It was freezing. I remember I had these finger-less gloves that I used to wear, which could've been really helpful to me then. Then I almost couldn't feel my fingers, and the cold slowly but surely crept up all the way to my chest. I was only wearing the light coat I'd brought with me, which did nothing to protect me and I had to take very short breaths as a result. I wished somebody had told me just how rough the winter had been to Castelia, but it's not like I was talking to a lot of people anyway. I ended up rushing to get there, I don't know why but I was desperate, and it was not just the awful cold. I honestly didn't care that much about it. I used to love taking walks and being outside, no matter the weather, but now I don't remember actually doing any of that, even when the weather was nice. I don't remember doing a lot of stuff during those days. But it's not like I did a lot of stuff during those days anyway.

I arrived at Caitlin's big house and rang the doorbell on the fence. The entrance was quite far from the actual front door of her house, and the space between was filled with pine trees and this very fancy asphalt path right in the middle. Her family had always been rich, but she was actually very nice. Anyway nothing happened, no one answered, and I thought I'd die from hypothermia right then and there. But then the little speaker next to the doorbell made a noise, like somebody was tampering with it. Then I heard Caitlin's voice.

"Ash!" Caitlin said. She was probably looking at me through a security camera or something. "How lovely to see you, come in, you must be freezing." She sounded happy and surprised. The gates opened and I basically ran all the way to the door, all she probably had to do was push a button or something, but I was only glad I'd get warm. She still took her sweet time to open the front door, I knocked like three times before she opened it and let me in, and I felt the difference from outside immediately. I was really relieved.

"How have you been Caitlin?" I asked.

"You must be freezing dear," she said. Then she started rubbing my arms very quickly. She didn't hear my question, she was always kind of spacey and distracted.

"How have you been Caitlin?" I asked again, louder this time.

"I've been well, Ash," she said. Then she took off my coat without asking anything and put it on the hanger next to the door. "How about you, how are things?" She asked me with this weird inflection, like she knew I had abandoned my training. At that point I knew my friend had told her. My friend knew. I didn't tell her anything but I knew she knew.

"Fine," I said. "How's Cynthia?"

"She's been a bit sick recently, nothing serious. I'd say she's mostly over it, you can see it in her eyes… she's awake right now in the bedroom, I'm sure she'll be happy to see you."

Cynthia had her own room in Caitlin's house, she didn't live there, at least not for the whole year, but the room was hers. She used to travel a lot, like all around the world I mean, like nobody else, and she never got tired either. But that was when I met her, like five years before this. At that point she was still the Sinnoh League champion. She is still considered the best champion there ever was anyway, but she had slowed down over the past couple of years, and she had stopped traveling so much too. She was one of those people that did all kinds of things in many different places at the same time flawlessly, and she still did a lot of things, but you could tell she had slowed down, and she looked different too, although I think you would've had to have known her to have noticed it.

The door was open, she saw me as soon as I tilted my head at the edge to take a peak, and I had no choice but to go in. She was sitting at the top of her bed. I guess technically she was laying down but she had all these pillows behind her, it really was a lot of them. And she smelled like honey, in fact the whole placed smelled like honey, but an old kind of honey. I can't quite explain it, it was like the honey had been watered down before being sprayed all around, like it wouldn't be long before the scent just disappeared. Anyway, she turned her head very quickly toward me, and I took a little step back just from the sudden surprise, but it seemed like she didn't notice it on my face. I kind of regretted going there when I went inside, seeing her like that. It's not like she was sick, not really sick anyway, but just being there made me really sad.

"Ash, come in please," she said. She was watching the big tv right in front of her bed. It was showing a match from the league championship where I supposedly would have been participating if I hadn't given up, assuming I'd gotten the eight badges in time. I was immediately embarrassed, and felt sorry for myself, and for her for being next to me at that moment. She turned off the tv and then coughed very loudly a couple of times, but it wasn't the kind of coughing that you get from being way too sick, the kind you can't avoid. It was more like the kind of coughing you cause yourself to clear your throat, preferably when you are alone. I thought that just from how loud it was, and how pleased she seemed, it was really annoying. I would have gotten mad at her if I hadn't been so sad, she seemed thoroughly enjoyed, like life couldn't get better for her, and yet I felt a bit sorry for her, even though I knew she was more than fine. She was wearing this old black bath robe with her name printed on golden letters on the right side of her chest. You could tell it was of very good quality but it had been through a lot of washings already, and she seemed not to care how it left a good part of her skin bare. Her chest with a good part of her cleavage was showing, as well as her legs and feet. Her legs in particular looked different, from a different color than the rest of her body I mean, like somebody had smacked them repeatedly and had left them all red and swollen. Her face and chest looked much more pale though, but that may have been from the little light that came in through the curtains. Maybe she was still a bit sick, her voice did sound a bit raspy anyway.

"Hey Cynthia, how are you feeling?" I said.

"Much, much better Ash, thanks, have a seat," Cynthia said.

I don't know if she meant for me to sit on the bed or not, but I sat on the chair in front of the desk nearby, and moved it closer to her, facing her.

"I'm glad," I said.

"There's no reason to worry, I would've gotten better a lot sooner if I hadn't plowed through all that ice cream during the worst part of it," she said. Then she laughed to herself, and I accompanied her with a few giggles. Then she turned the tv back on and put it on mute.

"Why aren't you there? What happened?"

"Yeah, I just came back from there," I answered. I already knew she would ask me that, but I decided to visit her anyway.

"No but seriously, what happened? You gave up half-way through."

"Yeah."

She gave me this weird look, very intense, like she wanted to tell me something but didn't quite know how.

"Professor Oak spoke with you, didn't he?"

"Yes he did."

"And what did he say to you?"

"He was rather nice, all things considering. He said I should think about my future, and he didn't get angry or anything. He said that when I start something I should finish it, that I shouldn't half ass things. I mean he didn't say it like that of course. He said that I had to go along with it."

"And you have to go along with it, you can't just not be part of it."

"Part of what?"

"...The world! Everything… what we do, as a society, you have to be part of it."

"No, I know, I do know that Cynthia," I said, just to reassure her. She was getting increasingly intense and I could tell she really cared about me, like she really wanted me to understand. But there was nothing to understand. You can only be a part of it when you're winning. Only the winners are part of it. For everyone else, there is nothing.

"Did Oak tell your Mom you're heading back?"

"No he didn't, at least not yet. He's visiting Birch in Hoenn right now and will go back to Kanto in a week. I suspect it won't take him long to bring it up."

"Have you said anything to her?"

"No, but I'll tell her when I land there tomorrow."

"I know your Mom, she's so nice, she's not going to like this."

"No, I don't think she will."

Everybody always says my Mom's nice, she's very sweet, she's an angel. Poor Ash's Mom, she doesn't deserve this. That's the first thing I thought people would say to me whenever I'd tell them I gave up. I did love my Mom anyway, I just wished people would stop pointing that out all the time. It's not like every single person of the world hasn't done something terrible that made their mothers disappointed, they're all a bunch of hypocrites.

Cynthia sat up on the bed and pointed at the tv. Her face changed, she seemed angry. I suddenly wanted to run away from there. I already knew that would happen, and I really wasn't interested in listening to another tirade directed at me.

"Look at those guys." She moved her index finger as she pointed at a lucario running all around the rocky battlefield, while its trainer shouted from the sidelines. "I've been right there where those trainers are standing right now, I've talked to the local professor, did you know that?"

"I didn't."

"Yeah, I didn't think so, I really didn't think so," she repeated once more. I got really angry at her out of the sudden, I don't think she cared about anything I said, anything at all. She just wanted to lecture me and make sure I understood every word. I hate when people do that, I really do. If that is the case then I really don't need to be there for it, it is more about them than about me. I stayed because she was my friend and because she was older than me, out of respect. Although these days nobody has respect for anything anymore. Maybe I should've just left.

"He told me you weren't so helpful with his investigation, and that you had not made good use of the pokedex that he so graciously gave you."

"I'm sorry he felt that way."

"Are you proud of this Ash?" She asked.

"Of course not Cynthia."

"You knew what you were doing Ash," She continued. "I know you know what you're capable of, we all know it, and we're very proud of you, but all you're doing is wasting your time, don't you care about what's happening to you?"

"Maybe it is just a phase."

"You think so? Is it the phase were you stop caring and just give up?"

"Maybe."

She paused, I bet she couldn't believe my insolence.

"I'm serious Ash, you need to get your head straight before it's too late."

Hearing her say that depressed me, it really did, I didn't want to be there anymore. I stopped listening to her and started thinking about the pokemon I released back to their habitat, politoed, ponyta, smoochum, which I left with the professor, and pancham. Thinking about pancham really depressed me. All he wanted was to evolve, but to evolve he needed to be close to another pokemon, and all I kept thinking was, why would you want that? Then Cynthia asked me something but I didn't listen, so I had to ask her to repeat her question.

"What's in your mind Ash? I'd really like to know."

"Honestly, not much at the moment," I said. I really wished she'd covered up her chest a bit more, it was very uncomfortable talking to her like that.

"I have to go Cynthia, it was nice talking to you. Please don't worry about me, I really don't want to make you worry."

"I just want to help you Ash, I care about you, you know that right?"

"Of course I do, it'll all pass, right?"

"I hope so," she said, very somber like. It didn't feel good, the way she said it, but I still got up and started walking towards the door, before she stopped me. I really wanted to leave, I had that kind of feeling you get when you just can't keep going on doing something, whatever, doesn't matter. Washing the dishes, talking to someone, simply walking, simply continue sitting, you know you have to stop or you'll die.

"Would you like some cake and a cup of hot chocolate? Caitlin and I would love your company," she asked. I wondered if I would have agreed to stay before she ambushed me with the reprimand. It sure sounded like a nice offer, but I was very much done at that point.

"I'd love to, but I really have to go, I need to make sure I won't miss my flight."

She nodded silently, with her sight lost, I felt bad for her. Then she turned to look at me very suddenly, I don't know why but I got really anxious. It felt like she had discovered I had done something I hadn't even thought about, but then she just raised her arms and directed them at me, and after some more anxiousness just from the sheer confusion, I calmed down.

"It was nice to see you, come give me a goodbye hug," she said.

I went over to the bed and she reached over, leaving both of her breasts fully exposed. She didn't seem to care at all, not when I was approaching her with my eyes being attracted to her naked chest, nor when she hugged me for quite a long time. It still went by very quickly, and I felt so weird, and reacted in a lot of different ways, but she didn't seem to care at all. And she didn't even adjust her robe when she went back, I thought it would fall off. I couldn't look her in the eye, but I sensed she didn't give it a thought. I really don't know if she noticed anything weird, but all I could think at that point was that she should have.

When all of this ended, and I mean the whole thing, not just my visit to Cynthia. Anyway, when it was truly over, I told my friend Misty all about what happened to me during those days in Castelia City, right after I gave up on my trip through this weird region half-way. I guess I should have told you, I used to train pokemon, but I don't anymore. Maybe you already knew that, I am Ash Ketchum by the way, sorry to disappoint you. I stopped some time after obtaining my fourth badge. Well, technically it was like my fiftieth badge or something like that, overall, but it was my fourth one on that particular region. Misty used to be a gym leader, but she was one of the good ones, one of the best even. I guess that goes without saying, she's on the elite 4 now, and she's changed a lot, too much I'd say. She is still one of my best friends, in fact she visits me in here a lot, more than anyone else actually. But I just feel like things are not the same as they used to be. I can't really explain why. I guess I liked her better when she was a gym leader, but even now she's better than the rest of them. I still remember training with her and challenging her gym, it was one of the most fun periods of my life, certainly more fun than what was going on with me during the end of my career as a trainer.


	2. Chapter 2

Look, I definitely don't know a lot, but at least I know I'm dumb. I don't go around bothering people saying I know everything. No one really knows anything, but nobody cares about it, they are fine with just pretending.

Of course I lied to Cynthia, but I did it only because I didn't want to make her feel bad. I actually had more than a day to kill before my plane left, and it was still freezing outside, it was probably colder than before, but I had to get out of there. Thankfully I found a pokemon center pretty quickly and was able to keep warm. To be honest, I love those places. You always get the same feeling whenever you go inside one of them, no matter when or where, it is always warm and cozy. I remember one time while I was traveling through Johto with a couple of friends, this awkward professor was giving us a lecture about pokemon and their natures, like depending on their personalities the way their powers developed would be different. Then an old friend of mine, Gary, walked in and started listening with us. He then raised his hand all of the sudden and asked the professor if the nature of a pokemon changed the appearance of its droppings, and we all burst out laughing, and the professor just answered him very professionally, but we could tell he had gotten nervous. Then Gary asked him if their natures had something to do with the faces they made when they released their droppings because he noticed a difference. Professor Elm, that was the name of the professor. He just said he had no information about that. Gary kept asking him awful questions and me and my other friends then joined him, and we derailed the whole thing and probably gave the professor a bad memory to keep, and when the whole thing ended I felt really bad. I feel worse about it now actually, I could tell the professor just wanted to teach us something important, and I really like what they do, the professors I mean. They put on a happy face and just tell us whatever we want to know in this very nurturing manner, and you can always tell they aren't being fake or anything, like they really care about us and about what they do.

I sat on a puffy couch on the corner inside the pokemon center. The lights were very bright but they didn't bother me. The whole place felt very welcoming, and it was very quiet, although it was never fully silent, which was nice. I don't think it would have felt so welcoming if there weren't any sounds at all.

On the pokemon center there was this computer that anyone could use, and it had a lot of recorded battles from the past Unova and Sinnoh League tournaments. I put my name on it and all of my battles appeared, including the one where I got crushed by this dude named Tobias, who later got arrested for vagrancy. That battle was also one of the last ones I had that had been recorded, but I didn't really feel like watching that one, it was too short for my taste. I like the ones where both trainers use all of their pokemon, which obviously last longer, but more importantly, that way you can discover many more things about the trainers and their pokemon.

Sure, you could tell when someone who only shouted orders at their pokemon and didn't say much else had trained very hard, but whenever I faced those kinds of trainers I always felt like they had lost a little bit of themselves, and had made their pokemon, who followed the orders blindly but diligently, lose themselves too. Don't get me wrong, I think training hard is very important, but you could always tell when these people only trained to win, not to get better for the sake of being better, not to have fun and grow closer to their pokemon. And there's a lot more of these people around these days, too bad only one of them can win, and everyone else has to be left miserable.

In that sense I think I always preferred challenging weak trainers, because you could tell they cared more about hanging out with their pokemon and becoming friends with them. You could see it on their movements when they fought, and you could tell a lot more things about them than about the ones who just cared about winning, who always seemed closed off, and they made their pokemon that way too. I hate that the most, because I don't think the pokemon should be dragged down with their trainer's misery. I can't see that in any way other than just losing, even if they do win something official. To me all they did was waste a bunch of opportunities and a lot of time that would never come back to them, all for the sake of hurrying to win something, to be seen as winners.

The computer had a match I had with this guy named Conway, which was the one that I decided to watch. It was actually my third round match on the Sinnoh League, that took place that year on the Lilly of the Valley Island. Conway was a very intellectual guy who really cared about strategies and such, but he was the good kind of intellectual that actually had a heart. He was actually one of the good ones, but now, after all I've been through, I can't say he was a particularly good trainer. Anyway, at that point it seemed like he was. He had me sweating profusely. First, he called out his shuckle, which was very slow but had very good defenses. It was a red ball with many orifices from where the worm-like limbs and head would pop up. Anyway, so this guy made Shuckle use withdraw three times, that's right, three times, before my noctowl even had a chance to attack. Withdraw raises the defense, so you can imagine what happened when my noctowl tried to hit what was basically a rock by then. The thing is though, with every time shuckle used withdraw, you could see Conway getting prouder and prouder, and the best part was that Shuckle, his shuckle I mean, was the same way too. By the last withdraw both of them were holding their heads so high up they could have fallen backwards. At the same moment I was there, a hundred percent into the match with my noctowl, and I was with them, training every day, preparing their withdraws and imagining how hard they were going to amaze their next opponent, which happened to be me. Honestly, I didn't mind it, I was feeling a lot of things during that moment, but I was also really happy that they were so proud of what they had done. And, at least personally, I think they should've been proud, because it was freaking difficult to beat them, as I could attest once more on the little screen. And I could also see how proud they were, even from there. My noctowl couldn't get one good hit on it so I changed it for my donphan, mainly because it had a type advantage. I like to say that I prefer not to think about type advantages when facing an opponent, but, just like whenever it gets rough, of course I care. Honestly I wish nobody cared. I really think the world would be a better place if nobody cared about type advantages. Then I felt like Conway and Shuckle got a little bit too proud, when they used power trick, which changed Shuckle's great defense for its awful attack, and then they were wide open. Still, my donphan couldn't get a good hit. It should've been able to, really. But I have to put that on me. That was definitely on me. I had all to win. But if I was forced to defend myself, I'd say the shuckle had a great attack by then, and it used gyro ball against my donphan which was super effective. Anyway, I called Donphan back also, and I called my gible in. And, here's the best thing ever, I just told him to open his mouth, and the shuckle just walked in and got stuck. It was awesome, and I thought of it right then, in a second. For the record, my gible has always loved to chew things, with its sharp fangs and what not. I guess he has to because his teeth are growing and they can hurt at times, so he has to chew things constantly. If you are the trainer of a gible you know these things. Anyway so the shuckle went inside Gible's mouth, but then Conway got wise and told Shuckle to throw sludge waves right into Gible's mouth, and then I genuinely got mad. It was one of those instances where I would have loved to walk into the battlefield and smack the pokemon myself. What I would have done in this particular occasion is, I would have grabbed the shuckle, I would have asked Gible to please release it from his mouth, then I would've put it on the ground and kick it out of the stadium. Then, while I was mad, it occurred to me very suddenly to make Gible use Draco-Meteor. He had just learned it well, and Conway didn't believe Gible could use it. And as I thought of this I almost burst out laughing, it was so beautiful, and so spontaneous and so perfect. And it worked. Gible blasted Shuckle into the sky and then it exploded like fireworks, and then it came down to the ground along with the meteors, like malfunctioning fireworks. It was awesome, and it took Shuckle down. After the fight some people were actually mad at me, apparently for using "unortodhox tactics" and some trash like that. I bet all who said that have ridiculously swollen garchomps who want to kill themselves, the mindless idiots.

All of the sudden this friend of mine appeared and pushed my shoulders so hard my neck made a weird sound, that I only heard on the inside of my body, like nothing was broken or anything, but of course she had been way too rough. I turned back and we hugged. Her name's Iris, she's from Unova, and once again she was way too rough with my body. She had always been like that, ever since I met her. Honestly, maybe I used to be like that too, at least up to a point, cause I really hadn't noticed just how physical she could get until I met her again on that pokemon center. She annoyed me from the get go. She could get very annoying, that I knew perfectly well. She was always bothering me and calling me a child, even though she was at least just as childish as me, she liked to go up trees and stuff like that. She also had her very long hair tied in not one, not two but three ponytails, and it still looked wild as hell, and she was still shameless enough to call me a child. She lacked any sense of personal space, and she was very touchy too, those are two different things, trust me. Even though she pushed me really hard I was happy to see her and ready to forgive her without getting her back, but she kept poking me and pushing me and that annoyed me pretty quickly. I guess she was really happy to see me, and I kind of wanted to let her continue bothering me, but it annoyed me pretty fast.

"What a nice surprise," she said. "You have no idea of how big a coincidence this is, guess who else I bumped into just today."

"I have no idea," I said.

"Come on, guess."

"I really have no idea, Cynthia is in town."

"No way silly, I didn't bump into Cynthia. Come on, guess."

"I don't know, just tell me."

"But don't give up so easily," she continued pressing me. She couldn't notice that I was getting really annoyed by her bickering.

"Just tell me Iris, as if I'm actually going to guess ever."

"Fine, it was Trip."

"huh, really? Nice," I said.

"What? Don't act so surprised!" She straight up punched me in the shoulder. The hit forcefully got in my memory the way she ate, always with her mouth open, always sitting cross-legged. Before I started hanging out with her, I used to be the source of embarrassment for my group of friends whenever we hung out with other people, but then she took that place from me, and I gained a lot of sympathy for my friends for putting up with me.

"What's wrong with Trip?"

"He's a conceited jerk," she said, and she meant it too, even though it obviously wasn't the case, or at least not anymore. Trip was another friend of mine from Unova, and I reflect he used to be a conceited jerk, like Iris said, but he wasn't so anymore. Iris could hold grudges like nobody else, and even if the person she hated changed for the better, and even if they personally apologized to her for making her mad, she would never stop hating them, and she would say it to their faces too, creating more embarrassment for everybody. In a way I really liked that about her. Because she just said what she felt and didn't bother about what they thought of her, and she was actually very funny and fun to be around, if you were on her good side. But at that moment she was being very annoying.

"He used to be a conceited jerk," I said. "But Trip is actually very nice now, he was the only one who understood when I decided to take a break."

"You did what? Why didn't you tell me?"

"It's a long story, we can talk about it later."

"Um, okay."

"I was watching one of my old battles," I said, but she didn't seem to take the hint. So I just turned back, although I did move to the side to make some space for her, and kept watching the battle, with her now by my side. However it did not take long before she got bored and started pulling my hair, one by one, for maximum annoyance.

"Stop!" I shouted. I was quite angry. Then she moved her hand as if I had hit her or something.

Right then I heard a conceited laugh behind me, then I saw Trip. He tapped my shoulder a couple of times while he held his other hand in his pocket.

"What's up?" he asked. "Hey Iris, nice to see you again, it's been what, forty minutes or so?"

"I'll let you two catch up," she replied. Then she left, moving her hands made into fists forward and backward, like she was still ten years old.


	3. Chapter 3

I accompanied Trip as he approached the nice nurse at the counter. Another reason I loved pokemon centers was that the nurse at the counter would always welcome you with a nice smile on her face, and that never ever changed. Trip handed her his pokeballs and she took them while still sporting a very honest and warm smile. It was a nice and cordial exchange, I don't know why but it made me feel really good about everything. It was just one of those moments that felt right. My friend Trip, he was nothing like Iris, in fact he was the complete opposite of her, always calm and collected and such, and he never got physically close to people for anything. He used to be very cold and distant, and very proud too, to a fault actually. It was way too easy for you to become annoyed at him, and it even seemed like he liked it when you got annoyed at him. He had grown a lot since I met him though, I had to admit, he had become a lot friendlier and he smiled more. But I still didn't think we were that close, and I didn't know anybody who was really close to him. I guess he was just one of those guys who didn't mind being friendly with people, and having people close to him, just not too close. I used to hate that about him, like when we were hanging out, chatting and what not, and something would happen, like I'd say something, or something simply would come up, and you could tell he'd shut off. That would always happen at some point during our conversations, he would talk to you and laugh for some time, but then he'd get all serious and just keep quiet, and he wouldn't like turn on again for the rest of the time. Sometimes I think I rushed the conversations too much just to get straight answers out of him, but I think that just made him more tired and he'd leave sooner. I think I like that about him now. I don't know, things are different now. Like now people my age aren't happy with just talking and laughing. Like having fun that way is just not enough for them anymore, I don't know.

"Don't let anybody bother you for wanting to take some time to rest dude," he said. "Trust me, I should know, just do your thing."

"Thanks Trip, you know what? You're totally right."

"You're welcome," he said with this proud inflection. He had his chin up too, like he was proud of his advice. I had to admit he had a reason to be anyway, as it did make me feel better, and you could tell that he knew what he was saying, literally. Like he was one of those guys who liked to think very hard and for a very long time before they spoke, so that their answers were the absolute best ever. But I personally think that defeats the purpose of talking at all. It's not like you're giving a speech or anything, but I guess he thought he had an image to maintain, and I guess when you saw him you could tell why. I guess he could've been a model, if he wanted to, I mean. I don't really mind admitting when other guys are handsome, it just doesn't bother me, or at least not anymore. I guess now nothing bothers me, this dude's a handsome dude, there, I said it. And maybe if he wasn't handsome he wouldn't feel like he had an image to maintain, and he'd be able to take it easy. He always looked very sharp and tidy, but you could tell he had worked hard on his appearance which kind of defeated the point of it, at least for me.

"So what brings you to Castelia City?" I asked him.

"I think you've forgotten I live here Ash," he replied. And I put my hand behind my head, I was embarrassed. He was one of those guys that always made you feel embarrassed if you said something wrong, even after you had known them for a long time.

"But, if you must know, I have a date," he said.

"Really! Look at you, is it with Georgia?"

"Of course not, she and I are done, and have been so for a while now."

"Is that so?"

"Yes… don't worry I forgive you for not knowing." He made this corny gesture with his hand, as if I was worried and he had to calm me down. I had to admit it did make me laugh. Trip did use to go out with Georgia, and hearing about stuff like that, which involved two people I already knew and considered friends, always made me feel weird, like I was trailing behind and couldn't do anything to move closer. And I was happy for them anyway, they seemed like a cute couple. Scratch that, they felt right for each other, but it also made me feel like they were making everything more complicated. However, thinking about what a date with the reserved and aloof Trip would look like made it very hard for me to keep a straight face during our conversation. I started thinking that he would have the whole date planned in advance, and if something went just a tiny little bit differently than his carefully constructed plan, he'd go insane and do everything to correct it.

"So who's this date of yours anyway?" I asked.

"Well…you know her actually, her name is May," he replied. And he said it very calmly too, like it didn't matter, which made the moment all the more jarring. I had a smile before he said her name, it was gone afterwards. Then I opened my mouth very wide, and kept it that way for a few seconds.

"I only know one May," I said. "She was a very dear friend of mine from Hoenn, I traveled all over there with her and her brother and Brock, that's right, the Pewter City gym leader."

"She must be her then, brunette with blue eyes, a little bit taller than me, quite sassy?"

"Yes, definitely, Man!" I smacked my forehead, and it even hurt a little but I didn't care, I was really surprised. "Her dad is the Petalburg gym leader, I met him and her mom too, I even stayed in her house for a little bit. Wow! May, it's been a while since I've talked to her, she used to do this weird thing, I could tell she didn't like sleeping on the ground and things like that, so she spent quite a bit of time upset and grumpy. But whenever we arrived at a new place she'd get so happy and forget she had ever been in a bad mood, and she'd sort of make a camera with her fingers and narrate as she gazed all over the new places, as if she were looking at everything behind an imaginary glass. Man, May, it's been a long time, really."

"Thanks, anyway I have to go," Trip said. And then he just left. Something had changed all of the sudden. It felt like one of those times when something had to change and it felt awful but there was no point in dwelling on it, because there was no way to change it back, to revert it I guess. Trip seemed like a completely different person, as I stared at his back, as he went to get his pokemon back. May seemed like a completely different person all of the sudden, even though I hadn't seen her in a long time. And Iris was still there, behaving like a child.


	4. Chapter 4

They always had food on the pokemon center, both for the trainers and their pokemon. Even though I wasn't training any pokemon at the moment I still sort of looked like a trainer, and I was technically still on the age range I guess, so they didn't ask any questions. I was sixteen when I stopped, I'm seventeen now. And it's not like the food was great or anything, it was always berry salad, for sugar, ice cream, for fat, and the most basic stew ever, for protein. But you could tell that they did not like preparing the food, and that they used the cheapest products they could, just from how it was made, and so obviously it didn't taste very good. It didn't taste bad, but that was because it didn't have much taste at all. I'm not trying to sound ungrateful or anything, it's just that it was obvious they only made the food because it was their job, and it was also their job to care for all the young trainers on the region, but they only did it because they had to, not because they wanted to protect them and care for them, and everyone could tell. It's not like they really wanted to hide it.

I had spent the morning talking to Cynthia, and most of the afternoon talking to Iris and Trip, and even though it was starting to get dark out I didn't want to give up and head to the airport yet, so I called another one of my old friends and asked her if she wanted to hang out. She sounded really glad when she recognized me, I hadn't heard her voice in a long time. Her name was Bianca, and when she was younger she used to be the clumsiest girl ever, and she'd get way too excited about anything she suddenly fancied. Some people would have probably described me that way too, at some point, but at least I didn't use to bump really hard into people just because I wasn't minding where I walked, like her. However she had mellowed over time, as I definitely had, and she also had become more aware and what not, but she, unlike most of the people I knew, still seemed to me the same as when I first met her, years ago. We were supposed to go get something to eat and watch a movie. I used to get really excited about movies, and nobody ever wanted to go watch them with me because I'd always talk throughout, and I'd get all restless and move on my chair and stuff like that. But at some point I just stopped liking them at all, and I then preferred when they had a sad end, because happy endings made me depressed. They seemed way too happy, like so much of it they couldn't be true. I asked Bianca if she minded if Iris joined us, and she said she was fine with it, but I could tell she didn't love the idea. I think it had something to do with knowing that the movie would be ruined by Iris, who, unlike Bianca and I, still talked throughout the movies and did more nonsense like that. Like she would always complain about her seat and such. But I still asked her if she wanted to come with us because it seemed like she didn't have anything else to do, and it was obvious she didn't want me to leave her alone. I asked her if she was doing anything and she said she had plans but could cancel them if I wished, which was obviously a lie, and I wanted to tell her so, but I knew she would never admit it. I still asked what her plans were and she said something about having a date with a dashing trainer who specialized in dragon types. She had talked about him before, except she said he had a different name. At first she said his name was Derek, and then she said it was Dalton, and she also confused his hair color too, and if you called her out on it she'd always have an excuse, like he had dyed his hair, or that he had to have his name changed only very subtly, because one of his dragon pokemon had bit someone or something like that, or simply that I had misheard. But the whole thing was obviously a lie, although I decided not to press her on it.

The two of us met Bianca outside the small movie theater. It was a small one, when compared to the giant ones with twenty screens that somehow fit perfectly on the third or fourth floor of a mall. This one only had four screens, but, and Iris and I didn't know this yet, only two of them were working at the moment. When we got there Bianca was kind of sad, although I didn't notice that at first. She still had her hair cut very short, but it was long enough for her to have a big green bow tied behind her head. It looked really good on her. Before the bows she used to wear a big green hat, the kind of which I can't remember the name of, right now. It doesn't matter, she didn't use it anymore. It was already very cold, and it was snowing. The snow had long lost its novelty factor, especially on experienced locals like Bianca and Iris. And because of the cold Bianca's face had that irresistible thing that happens to a girl's skin only during the cold. I don't know what it is about it, I don't really know what happens to it, but I know that during the cold they seem more adorable to me. I don't know if that's weird, but surely it's not only me who feels this way, and I bet some women feel this way too, about other women I mean. That's how I know I'm in the clear, in the weirdness scale. Anyway, weirdness aside, my eyes were glued to Bianca. She was my friend, I was her friend. I loved her like a friend, like I loved Iris, although my love for Iris was more hidden behind all the annoyance I felt every time I saw her. It's just that my eyes were glued to Bianca, and that was that. She was wearing a puffy orange jacket, very puffy, too puffy; a purple scarf, green pants, and brown boots, and my eyes were glued to her face and her green eyes. I don't think I had ever seen a face so beautiful, and yet I knew I had, when years ago I saw Diantha's face on a magazine and discovered what being in love felt like. I didn't even learn her name, Diantha's name, until much later, and only remembered it was her who I had seen, even later. Anyway, I wasn't so blind, Bianca was sad, and it was because they were doing some stupid repairs on the movie theater, and because of that only two of the screens were working. There was a movie that Bianca wanted to see, and she knew Iris and I would be okay with seeing it because even though it was basically a romance it had a spy element about it, so it would have some suspense and action to keep us entertained. She checked the movie theater's website and saw that it was playing there, however, it happened to be on one of the screens that they were fixing, and they hadn't updated the freaking website. Or as I suggested then, they hadn't bothered to. Bianca asked both of us not to say anything about it to the people there. She knew we were like that, and I couldn't blame her. I couldn't blame her for becoming a very non-confrontational type of person, if she always behaved like that. In the same way, I couldn't blame Iris for being a very confrontational person, if she always behaved like that. The problem was that Bianca had seen one of the movies they were playing on the other screen at that time, and Iris didn't care to see the one they were playing on the other one. Honestly, I didn't want to see that one either, but I would've seen it, I would've taken the hit, and I would've kept quiet about it. In fact, I'd probably have fallen asleep. It was a period snooze-fest after all. The other one was a period movie too, but there were swords on the poster, and Bianca did say she'd watch it again, but we knew she was being self-sacrificing again, and we didn't let her do that.

We were all hungry, it was understood that we'd get food after the movie anyway, so we just skipped the movie altogether and went straight for the food. Because we were very stupid and young, we decided to get our food for take out and search for a place around town to eat, like we had done so many times before with better weather. We did it again, because we were young and stupid and we didn't have the common sense to care about the horrible weather, but also because we wanted to repeat the past experiences.

At first we got lucky. Bianca got the idea to go to Burgh's gym, which was always open and it was rather close. We miscalculated, it was not close, so by the time we got there our food was not warm and we were outright freezing. Still we sat on the bleachers and ate and had a blast.

I forgot to say something about Iris, she's also very gossipy. Very early into the conversation she brought up Trip and Georgia breaking up. It's not like she cared about it, she was still too oblivious to care about stuff like that, and I'm just saying that because she has never had a boyfriend. And I can say that about her, I think, because I have no problem saying that I've never had a girlfriend myself. And at this point, I have no problem admitting that I don't think I will ever get one. Anyway, Bianca just shrugged off the subject and tried very subtly to change the conversation. She was very formal in a very genuine way, and she never liked to talk about other people's relationships like that. I really like that about her, almost as much as I liked her face right about then. I guess, she's very mature in a very childish way. And if that doesn't make sense, she's a very mature and private person who keeps to herself, as everyone should do, and doesn't talk about other people behind their back, in a way that could be seen by jerks as prudish.

We were all talking and even laughing out loud, and we had only finished like half of our food. On the battlefield there were three kids practicing with their starter pokemon, and none of them cared that we were staring at them and commenting on the match too. I guess they could sense that we weren't making fun of them or anything like that. I wouldn't have forgiven myself if they thought we were making fun of them. I just knew they didn't think that, and it was more probable that they didn't care about us at all. It all got ruined when these two older guys got in and sat a few rows before us, but right in front of us, very conspicuous like. They weren't old, just older. Sadly, they could still be considered teens I think.

Like two minutes after they walked in they started hitting on Bianca. We all sensed that would've been the worst possible case scenario, and they didn't care at all about making it happen. That kind of people really bother me. I don't know what's worse, that they know they are bothering others, that they know they make others uncomfortable, and they still do it, or that they genuinely think they are the tits and everyone would love them if they got to know them, and that any hesitation is just a game that must be played. I guess I prefer that they are ignorant, because that still keeps some of the purity to it, to their humanity I mean, but I don't know if many women would agree with me, especially Bianca. Being a very tanned guy, roughed up by constant exposure to sun and bad weather, I don't have a lot of trouble with that, but I think it's okay if it bothers me, when it happens to someone else I mean. So I told them, and Iris joined me, of course, and then I remembered why I esteemed her so much. In the end though, I decided just to get the girls out of there as soon as I was able to. I don't care that the two guys called me a coward, or that I decided it for both Bianca, who was only very anxious and just wanted that to be over, and Iris, who wanted to stay and teach those guys a lesson. I did it because I didn't want to remember so much of that. That way, the memory of that for the three of us would be a short one, therefore a less painful one. Right now I'm all about that, although sometimes I think about how the situation would've continued. Maybe the rookie trainers would've barged in and challenged the older guys to a match to defend the three of us, and then they would've gotten their asses handed to them by the two older guys and their overpowered charizard, or azumarills, or whatever. I just wanted to get that over with.

I was pretty distracted, to be honest with you I couldn't stop thinking about May ever since Trip mentioned her. I really couldn't stop thinking about her, and it kind of sucked because I was really enjoying the scene up until the jerks arrived and ruined everything, like jerks always do. She used to have this little brother called Max, and even though he was a quite younger than us their parents let him hang out with us while we traveled through Hoenn. It was very easy to annoy him, and he always had something to say when he thought someone was doing something wrong. He used to wear glasses, and he would adjust them, and then he would put his index finger up, every time he started one of his lectures about things he had learned recently, which he always liked to apply to any current situation, even if it had nothing to do with what he had learned. Like this one time we were about to go hiking, and he had just learned how to fish, and he wouldn't go hiking before convincing these professional scuba divers we met along the way that fishing was a better method to encounter pokemon. I remember May was fuming, she really wanted to leave. They used to fight all the time, so she spent a good amount of time angry at him, but you could tell that they really loved each other, and I kind of felt for them too. But it was different with Max because he was smaller, and after spending a lot of time with him I got this urge to protect him, and to let him annoy people and do his thing, because he may have been annoying but he was just a kid. A wild pokemon from the forest descended on his town, a very old shiftry looking for food. They said there was nothing he or anyone could've done, nobody saw it coming, but they might as well should've. I was in my house when it happened, May's mom told my mom on the phone and she told me with the phone on her chest, and a horrible grin, and an awful pair of eyes I never want to see again, that he was dead. Right after she told me I went into my room and locked the door, put a chair to jam the doorknob and everything, and I didn't go out for a couple of days. I never actually knew how many. I destroyed my bed and all of my pillows, with my own hands. That I remember pretty well. I was still finding small pieces of cotton on my fingernails for days after. When they managed to get me out of there I was too tired to do anything, and they took me to the hospital for a few weeks. You could tell that Max wanted to act like an adult, that's the only thing I didn't like about him. I tried a lot of times to convince him that being a kid was more than fine but he wouldn't listen, but he also wouldn't complain whenever he got hungry and asked any of us for food. And he would eat a lot too, sometimes we'd have to give him part of our ration to him because he didn't have enough with his own. You could also tell that he was really learning from us, from May, from Brock, and even from me, he was one of the good ones. Come to think of it, he and Conway were pretty similar.

Outside the gym, I was pretty much done with the food I hadn't finished yet, so I just threw it in a trash can, something for which Iris chastised me afterwards. Of course she would've eaten it, I really forgot about it. It all turned out okay, for her, because Bianca very graciously gave her what she had left, and Iris ate it very angrily. She was still enraged with the two older guys, and with me for cowering away from them. I didn't care about that. I asked Bianca if she was really satisfied, and she just told me she was no longer in the mood for eating, which I completely understood.

It was already very late, and it was very cold outside. Unconsciously, we walked all the way to a park nearby, and the three of us completed a whole lap around it before Bianca said she had to go. We said our goodbyes, she hugged me for quite a while. It was really the nicest hug I'd had in a long time, maybe, at least in part, because she was fully dressed. Snow started falling again just as Bianca walked away into the night. Right then I remembered that I should've asked if we should accompany her to her house, but in the end I knew she'd be alright, she had lived in that city her whole life after all. However, that left the most stupid members of the group alone, and the only thing Iris and I could think to do afterwards was to sit on a bench in the middle of the dark as snow fell on us on a cold night of winter. As we sat down I told Iris it was a stupid idea, and then she asked me why. I had not the courage to answer her. And only a few moments later, she fell asleep on my lap, very shamelessly, although I didn't mind it at all at that point, in fact I started stroking her hair, and continued when it seemed like she was enjoying it.


	5. Chapter 5

It was very cold outside, but Iris didn't seem to care at all. She was actually sleeping with her head on my lap, she had to bend her legs to fit on the bench while laying down on it. She was snoring and everything, she even had her thumb on her mouth like a baby. If I hadn't been freezing I probably would have laughed so hard I would have woken her up. But I really didn't want to, I swear all I wanted was for her to stay asleep for as long as she wanted, and maybe for the cold to freeze her and keep her that way. But I had to do something, for her sake, and mine I guess. I really lamented patting her on the head and shoulder, and shouting her name while some more snow fell over us. It was really irresponsible of us to stay there. When she woke up she seemed mad even though she was obviously freezing, she was shrieking, but still she couldn't admit it. I got really mad at her, she cared more about proving she wasn't dying from the cold than for her safety, and I even had to apologize to her to make her go back to the pokemon center. I told her she should be more responsible and take better care of herself, but she was too proud, she not only told me to shut up but also said she could take care of herself fine, which was obviously untrue. We walked as fast as we could to the pokemon center, our legs felt very stiff and we could barely move, but we made it. The doors opened up for us, one to the left and one to the right, and let us inside the warmth of the place, it pretty much saved us. It was very late, you couldn't see anything outside from the window, although that might have been from all the light inside, but the nice nurse welcomed us and took care of us as if it were the early morning, or any other time of the day. She gave us blankets and warm chocolate and some bread with more chocolate inside. I half expected her to start singing a lullaby for us as she rubbed our bellies. I wouldn't have stopped her anyway.

Suddenly Trip walked in, and I looked at him as if he were a different person. He had a smile that I suddenly wanted to erase from his face, and it seemed like the cold hadn't affected him in the least. Trip sat right next to us, Iris was too affected to react. He refused any kind of help from the nice nurse. He didn't want chocolate nor a blanket, I guess he thought he was too old for that. I hate it when people don't do things just because they think they are too old for them. I feel like they only do that to make everyone else look bad while making themselves look better. It's not like something is going to happen to them just for not acting like adults all the time, but I guess that is what they think anyway.

I suddenly got very curious, he wasn't saying anything, and you'd think someone like him would start bragging about how his date went as soon as he got the chance, but he said nothing. So I had to ask.

"How was your date?"

"What date? Oh, with May? It was nice I guess," he said, with a very careless inflection.

"Why do you say it like that?" I asked him.

"Like what? I'm just saying it was nice, it was really nice actually."

He immediately got on my nerves. I wanted him to stop talking but I couldn't stop asking him stuff.

"It couldn't have been that nice, I mean, you're back already."

"You don't need all night. Why are we talking about this right now anyway? We are at a pokemon center, Ash."

He hit me on the side with his elbow. It didn't hurt at all, like it wasn't an actual hit, but it sure made me angry.

"But what did you do?" I asked him. But he didn't answer, and he didn't even bother to look at me even though I was staring at him pretty hard.

"A gentleman never tells," Trip said.

"I'm sure you didn't do anything, you're just joking," I said. But still he didn't say anything or looked at me.

"No but seriously where did you take her?"

"What is it to you? If you're so curious why don't you go on a date yourself? Too bad I asked May first. You shouldn't worry about training anymore. This kind of stuff is what you should worry about more though, otherwise if you wait too long there won't be any girls left for you to date."

I punched him in the jaw all of the sudden, as hard as I could. The smack sounded really loud, my hand hurt. Then I grabbed Trip by the collar and tried to drag him outside. I felt like he shouldn't have been enjoying the pokemon center, he didn't even want to be there, he didn't appreciate it. Everyone got all worried, and he tried to take me off of him but I wouldn't let him, and then I grabbed his arm really hard with my hand, and really sunk my nails on his skin. He screamed really loud right in my ear, and then punched me in the nose, and took me down. I got up and went for him but an older guy with a mustache held me down while I tried to get my hands on him.

"I can't believe you sucker punched me, what is wrong with you?" He said. But I didn't care and kept trying to attack. The scared nurse tried to get us to calm down and become friends again with a very high pitched voice I'd never heard from her before, and said that if we didn't calm down she would kick us out. I stopped struggling and the guy let me go. Trip extended his hand to me and I looked at it, then I looked at his face, then I went for him again. Then they kicked me out. Only I didn't stay out, I tried to go back in again but they didn't let me. They shouted that I needed to calm down first.

"You don't deserve to be in there! None of you do!" I screamed, and I meant it. "You don't appreciate it."

Then I calmed down, I had to anyway, and then they let me go back in, but, then I didn't want to, not if they let guys like Trip in anyway. So I left.

Iris came out with the blankets though, and she gave one of them to me, and we got out of there. I wasn't mad at her anyway.


	6. Chapter 6

So we were out walking once again, but at least it wasn't snowing anymore, and we each had a blanket around us to at least stop us from dying out there.

"Hey Iris," I said. "Do you want to go to Nuvema Town to see what Professor Juniper is working on?"

"Ash, it's the middle of the night."

"So what? I don't think she'd mind it, she's probably working on some cool experiment right now."

"What are you talking about? Of course she'd mind it, she's probably asleep right now, she's definitely asleep."

"We can't be sure if we don't check it out."

"I'm not going to go Nuvema Town in the middle of the night Ash, forget about that."

"I was just saying… hey, do you remember my friend May?"

"Not really, I've never met her."

"That can't be true."

"Yes it is, you never introduced us," she said. And she said it in a very accusatory manner too, as if it was my duty to introduce them, and not having done so meant she had the right to blame me.

"That's not my fault, anyway she went on a date with Trip earlier tonight."

"Yes I heard," Iris said. She was very nosy too. "I thought he was going out with Georgia, she said Trip was a very randy dude."

"What!" I screamed. I stopped walking and grabbed her blanket and pulled her a bit.

"That's what Georgia said," Iris said all confused and a bit scared by my reaction. "And it's obvious, I should know."

"What are you talking about Iris? What did you do with Trip?"

"Nothing! I just know him, can't you see it? He's very randy."

"What do you think randy means?" I asked, right after I released her. Then she adjusted her blanket before she replied.

"Like a dirty person who is annoying, like someone who knows how to bother people and they do it very well. I don't mean that a randy person is actually dirty, but that they use dirty tricks to annoy people with their bad attitude that they know they have and don't want to change."

"You have a very well established concept of the word, but that's not what it means anyway," I said.

"What does it mean?"

"...Well, I don't want to tell you."

"Tell me, or I'll just assume you're lying to me, come on tell me."

She grabbed my blanket and pulled my neck really hard, she had no idea of what she was doing.

"It means someone who is not satisfied with what he gets, never ever," I said. I really didn't want to tell Iris the truth. After this she calmed down a bit and started walking with her lost sight directed at the ground. It seemed like I had just shattered her whole understanding of the word randy, and I felt kind of bad because I had replaced it with an equally wrong concept, but I really couldn't tell her the truth.

It was way too late, so late actually, I could tell the sun was about to appear. I started thinking I should go to the airport, I already had my ticket anyway, but I knew you were supposed to always get there much earlier to avoid any problems. I was obviously avoiding the airport, I could tell even then. I knew it would remind me of everything, and that would just destroy me. Besides, I had to do something about Iris, I had basically dragged her out with me and now she had nowhere to go, and I wasn't going to leave her sleeping on a bench or anything like that. I knew the trains wouldn't start working anytime soon, and she had been only half awake for a long time now. So it occurred to me to do a very shameless thing, I took her to Burgh's house, just outside the downtown part of Castelia. I guess it was closer to Caitlin's house than to Castelia itself, but I still thought it was quite close.

So I got there and Burgh opened the door, and I just straight up asked him if he would let Iris sleep there for the night. He obviously agreed and he was very nice to us, but I could tell he was uncomfortable. I didn't know what else to do, that seemed like the best choice. I guess it was my only choice, honestly I had nothing else, the next best thing was to lay on the ground and wait for our deaths. Besides, he had a big house, and it's not like he wouldn't do it, he was a gym leader after all. He even asked me if I wanted to stay too, he said it was way too late and it was too cold out, and that what on earth was I going to do, and stuff like that. I said I had to go to the airport, to get out of there, even though at that point I had no idea of what I was going to do.

I put Iris to bed myself, she was really tired from the trip, or maybe she just seemed that way because of the overwhelming lack of sleep. It was obvious she was used to going to bed early. She even asked me to read her a bedtime story half consciously, and I almost burst laughing, but I managed to contain myself. I almost did it actually, but I needed to leave. Before I left I gave her a kiss on her forehead which lasted for a few seconds. It lasted enough to wake her up, and she raised from the bed quite confused, but I just told her to go back to sleep, and I covered her with the blanket once more, and then I just left.

I left the blanket that Iris had taken from the pokemon center at Burgh's house by accident, but it didn't even bother me anymore. All I cared was that Iris was sleeping safe and sound, and I didn't care about the cold anyway. It seemed to me like I didn't care about anything, but then I suddenly got worried about Iris, even though I knew I had no reason to be worried, so I let that go. I guess I couldn't get worried because it was very easy for me just to let things go, and, honestly, I still don't think there's a lot wrong with that. I had no idea of what to do next, literally. At some point I just stood there in the middle of the sidewalk, without moving or thinking about anything, and I don't know how much time I spent like that, but I assume it was a lot. Then I realized I had to get to the airport soon, otherwise I'd lose my flight. That made think about everything, including my mom, and my pokemon, and that's when I really plummeted. I was pretty much covered in things that she had bought for me, I really did not want to see her, or them, like that, and I didn't want any of them to see me, at all. I genuinely didn't care about the flight, to another person that lack of care may have seemed pathological, but then again I genuinely didn't care. Seriously, I'm sure some people would worry a lot about me, and others would probably get angry, because of how little I cared about missing the flight, but, I wasn't one of them. I couldn't have cared if I tried. So I decided to just stay there in Castelia, it was way too easy to just stand there and let time pass.

Still, I was really sad, and I had nothing to distract me. Looking at the straps of my backpack on my shoulders made me even sadder. It felt like my mom was clinging to me from behind, and I guess at some point I got way too sad for a long time that I got tired of it. I kind of wanted to die, and I wanted to say sorry to my mom and to everyone I knew for it. And that just set me off. I felt like nobody could leave me alone, ever. I felt like nobody could ever leave each other alone.

I just walked all the way back to the pokemon center. I knew I wasn't right, I knew I was going to do something stupid and wrong. Something that could really harm me and get me in serious trouble, but I really couldn't stop. I had to do something, I can't explain it, I just had to. I genuinely couldn't stop. I stepped right in front of the window, there was some light out already, took my backpack off and put it on the ground, knelt down before it, opened it, took out three pokeballs with my left hand and placed one of them in my right hand, activated it, got up, winded up my right arm and shouted, "Broken window, I choose you!" really loud. I know, not the most original line, neither the coolest one, by far. But I only care about it very little, right now I mean. So, then, I didn't mind what I said at all. It sounded appropriate. Then I threw the pokeball at the window really hard. The window cracked. I repeated the process, shouted once more and threw another one, and the big window cracked more. I did it once more, shouted the same pathetic nonsense again, threw the third pokeball as fast as I could, and the whole window broke into a million pieces with a harsh, piercing sound and then fell on the ground with an even louder sound. Then I grabbed my backpack and ran.

I had spent almost all I had on the plane ticket, and yet I still had quite a bit of money. Such privilege. However, I knew that if I was going to stay in Castelia, simply to think of what to do next, or otherwise, if only for a few days or so, or more, I could always use more cash, which I knew was necessary simply to avoid starving to death. You always need to not starve to death. That's the most important lesson I learned during all of my traveling years.

So, I went to a nearby school, and waited until the kids came out. I attempted to sell all of my still useful training equipment to the young hopefuls, but I failed. I specifically knew I'd fail to get money when I saw their little hands holding the bills. In my defense, at least they were going to put the stuff to use. I gave them the stuff and left, they didn't even question why a stranger was just handing them stuff. Idiots.


	7. Chapter 7

I got myself a nice jacket at 40 percent discount, it was the cheapest one they had. It was nothing compared to the thermal jumper that my Mom had bought for me, which could sustain a whole lot of bruises without getting a scratch, somehow. But I really didn't care how I looked, I wouldn't have walked inside the store if I did. Before going in I caught my reflection on the crack-less front window of the store, my left eye was black and bloodshot—I really had no idea. I went in and grabbed the brown jacket and took it to the dressing room, just to see if it fitted me. I really didn't care if it made me look like a hobo or something, although that didn't matter in the end. Because when I put it on and stepped in front of the mirror I noticed I looked like a conceited jerk. I looked way older than I was, and much more arrogant, I assume. It made me look taller too, and, I'm not going to lie, I really liked that. And why would I lie at this point anyway? I probably would have paid a lot more money, definitely full price, if I knew it was going to make me look as mature as it did. But I basically got it for free.

I got out of the store and started walking down the street wearing my new brown jacket, and quickly found a subway station. It occurred to me to go to the park downtown and start asking people about a nice and cheap place to stay in for a couple of days. It was one in the afternoon, and I guess I was on a good part of town, so not only was the car I got on mostly empty, but it was also relatively clean, as clean as a subway car could be I guess. There weren't any people asking for money, or any of those guys who for some reason think people riding the subway want to listen to corny songs as sung by amateurs who think they are professionals. Although I have nothing against the ones who do it passionately, I guess, for the art and so. And there weren't any uppity jerks who looked like me with that jacket either. There were two or three weirdos though, but they were too far away from me to bother me, and at least one of them might have been a pile of rugs. Besides, I really didn't mind weirdos or hobos, not really I mean. Not as much as the uppity jerks or the ones who sing very loudly and lack any kind of self-awareness. During a stop one of the weirdos got out, the others didn't move at all. If they were people at all I assumed they were asleep. So I was left even more alone then, and almost nobody went in. It was kind of peaceful, even with the awful noise of the metal clashing below. But then just before the doors of the car closed a woman went in, and I took my eyes off of her right after she went in, and didn't pay attention to her. But then she sat right next to me, genuinely next to where I was sitting, not leaving even one empty sit between us, having basically the rest of the car to herself. The first thing I noticed was her scent, she smelled really pretty. I'm very good with scents, and I have a very good sense of smell in general. Or at least I used to, and I'm still very good at it when I can focus myself. The thing is though, I'm very bad with the names of the scents, or what words are used to differentiate each from one another. I assume she smelled like a flower or something, the scent had layers to it and everything, like when it first hit you it smelled nice on a superficial level, and for a cheaper or a more simple smell that would be the end of it, but for hers, immediately after that first hit you'd get another deeper one that complemented the first one and made it more complex or something fancy like that. I really don't know, and it shouldn't be that complicated anyway, like it isn't necessary to make a lot of words up to describe stuff like that, but anyway she smelled really nice and refined.

I turned to her a bit confused but not really thinking about it, and I got really startled when I saw that she was staring directly at me very intensely and with her eyes wide open. It took me a lot of seconds to identify her, it was really hard to concentrate with her like that. Then I recognized her and realized that I knew her, and then it took me even more time to remember her name. It was Lorelei, and she was a member of the elite 4 from my home region of Kanto. She looked really nice for her age, too nice, for her age I mean. It's not like she was old, but there was a huge age difference between her and me, and yet she looked very nice to me. I remember that the last time I saw her I was still a stupid kid, and I didn't think about her in a way that distracted me, in fact she used to scare me a lot, with her being in a very powerful position, and being very powerful herself, and all of her seriousness. I genuinely thought that if I said or did anything wrong then she could somehow punish me or send me to detention or something, like she was a stern teacher or a principal or just my boss. But she seemed completely different when I saw her again. She was wearing her glasses but I could still see her eyes very well, she had those kind of eyes that you don't see very often, not because some people you see and talk to everyday don't have them, but because they don't ever look at you with them with that intense gaze that showcases them perfectly, like the more you stare at them, the more you want to keep looking at them, and the more you need to look away from them, at the same time. And she had this very expressive smile with her teeth showing, like she was very happy to see me. She had a very beautiful face, she was very attractive in general.

"Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town," she said. She had a very nice voice too, a very soothing voice, that I really wanted to concentrate to listen to.

"Yes, the very same," I said. Then I cringed a little bit, like I knew that was very corny but I felt like I had to play it up. And she didn't notice it, I think, she seemed to eat it up as a cool response.

"Look. At. You. You look so different," she said. Then she touched my shoulder and felt up my new jacket as if it was made out of a great material and very expensive. Then she took off her left glove and touched below my eye with the tip of her fingers, which felt kind of cold but also really nice. "How did this happen?"

"...I tripped," I said.

"Where?"

"I don't really remember, it's nothing serious really, I've had a lot worse."

"Yeah, I bet. Ash Ketchum. I remember very well, you got all the way to the quarter finals on the indigo league at just 10 years old. It was something otherworldly for me, I even feared for my spot on the elite 4. I see you haven't slowed down, what brings you to Castelia City?"

"Oh you know, I was sort of taking a small break before I continue running around, and I decided to pay a visit to my friend Cynthia since she's in town."

"Cynthia, the Sinnoh League champion?" Lorelei asked, seemingly quite amused.

"Yes, well, she isn't the champion anymore but everyone still think she is, and with good reason."

"Of course, she's the only Sinnoh Champion in my eyes. She might just be the best of the best."

"Yes, maybe, but you know, I've been all over the place, to Sinnoh and a few other places, and yet I have never encountered an establishment more professional and well prepared than the one from Kanto, and I'm really not just saying that because it is my home region or the first one I experienced, you guys really know your stuff, and you take it seriously, as you should. And it shows,"

"Oh dear, well, thank you so much. I can't believe that's true."

"Well you better, because I may be kind of young to say stuff like that, but I have quite a bit of experience, and I've seen a lot of the world, and I'm just calling it like I see it." I was lying. I had no idea of what I was saying. Of course I was also lying when I said I was taking a short break, I had no idea of what I was doing, and that had been going on for quite a while. More specifically, nothing had been going on with me for quite a while. To be honest I just wanted to keep listening to her voice, and it seemed like my garbage had worked. She seemed really pleased and proud, like for real.

A small part of me thought she had me all figured out, that she knew my exact situation and was just pretending. But there was no way she knew, no real reason for her to act that way other than she believed it—no real reason for her to suspect anything was wrong—so maybe I was just paranoid or deluded. It's fine. It's always fine really, there's never a real reason to make a big deal out of things. And during that moment she seemed really pleased with what I was saying, and she had a distinct shine in her eyes while I spoke. And, when I finished, she just said she was really proud of all the work they had done in Kanto and of the image they had worked so hard to cultivate, and then I felt bad for lying. I really just wanted her to feel good, at least I accomplished that. It was obvious from her inflection that she really cared for the work she put on the league, and a nice, validating compliment is only nice to hear. So what's the big deal? As she spoke to me really enthusiastically about how they had totally revamped the indigo league, I kept staring at her lips, and I guess she was too focused on what she was saying to notice. I really wanted to kiss her, her lips looked very attractive to me, and I guess any other person would have also found them irresistible. I just wanted to embrace her and for her to embrace me, in a quiet and mature way. I don't know if she noticed anything, it's not like I was staring at her shamelessly with my open mouth drooling, but I was not not staring at her while I listened, attentively so. I could multitask really well if I focused.

I really don't know when people notice something and when they don't. I used to think I was able to notice even the tiniest gestures, and that I was overall able to read people very well, notice their mood very well, even when they were trying to pretend. But I was wrong, because the semblance that people put up front has nothing to do with their true intentions, not even with what they are truly thinking right then. And you can say that I'm just an embittered cynic, but at least I'm irrefutably right about that, and at the very least I don't lie like that. Wait, I guess I do. I guess I was doing exactly that with Lorelei, but, instead of pointlessly trying to defend myself, I'll just say that I don't pretend there is ever a time when I can be truly truthful with someone. That's just not something achievable for an adult human. And I don't think I am a bitter person just for thinking that. Sometimes I find myself unconsciously staring at someone, any person, and suddenly, when they notice I'm staring, I look away, and I end up seeming weird. Other times when I stare at someone on purpose, just to see if they notice—like they do like every time I do it unconsciously—they don't seem to notice at all, and that bothers me even more. It truly does, I wish the act of staring yielded more consistent results overall. Anyway, my research on that subject has led me nowhere, just like everything else I'd done so far, and yet, I still ended up there, on that subway car, staring at Lorelei. And that's something if there ever was.


	8. Chapter 8

I kept talking to Lorelei. It was a good thing that she had a lot of things to say, and that she seemed really invested in the conversation, because I practically had nothing to add to it. I wanted to keep listening to her, I wanted her to go on and on about whatever she wished. She talked about how proud she was of me, of Kanto as a whole, and of how there they prepared their trainers for the future, she talked about whatever she pleased. Meanwhile I really had nothing to say. If I said anything real about me I'd uncover how much of a loser I really was, and how much I had already lied to her, and how much of what she was saying was hypocritical nonsense. Not all of it, just a specific part of what she was saying. Like, I really don't like it when people you barely see say they are proud of you. They make it seem like they are very invested in your life, just because sometimes they talk to their old friends about you. And I say old friends, because usually the people that say they are proud of you are older people, of the kind who spend their time talking to people about other people who aren't there with them. I maybe wish they didn't do that, just for their own good. I'm sure they have other things to do to spend their time, besides, why would you want to spend any amount of time just talking about other people you barely see? I don't hate them or anything, it just seems to me that people like that appear only to tell you how proud they are of you and your accomplishments. For example, they never ask you about how you have failed. Who wants to hear about that anyway? I'll tell you who, me. I want to hear about that. It would be a nice change of pace. But anyway, because the kind of stuff they ask it just seems to me that they don't really care about you.

A part of me thinks they only act that way so that if a good thing happens to you they can say they always had your back, and that they supported you from the very beginning, therefore they deserve your favor, like some kind of socially engineered insurance. I'm sure there are people like that, and I don't think that makes me a jaded person. But, I also know that people like Lorelei really care and they are very sincere, and that's just how they are, and I have a lot of doubts about it and call them hypocrites and such because I have become corrupted or something. But, that just makes it all the more depressing, because then she, and the rest of the sincere folks, were sure they were proud of me, when in reality I had just given up on everything without accomplishing anything, so their apparently honest feelings were shallow, such as in Lorelei's case. She seemed very convinced about it and was very enthusiastic in general. We all are always nice to each other out of convenience, even if not everyone is conscious about it. I didn't always think like this, but why can't it just be simply a transitioning period where I can't deal with the simple and irredeemable fact that we can't ever stop being selfish?

We passed quite a few stations before she said she had to get off on the next one. I was really enjoying her company, even though she was only talking about how proud she was of how far we had come and such. And I hated that, still, I didn't want her to go.

"Do you know of any good hotels downtown?" I asked.

"Oh, of course, if you're going to stay in Castelia you must stay at the Golden Psyduck, it's a must," she said. Then she raised her hand all excited and wrote the address on a piece of paper for me. She had a handbag. I peaked inside while she was getting the pen and caught a glimpse of her pokeballs. I didn't think about that much.

"Do you really have to go? Wouldn't you like to go to the park with me?" I said.

"I wish I could, sounds lovely, but I am already late for brunch," she said. Then she put her hand on her cheek with her mouth open, it would have been nice for a picture. "You should come too, why didn't I tell you sooner? Of course! Please tell me you have time, the Golden Psyduck will still be there later, waiting for you."

"Brunch."

"Yes, Brycen will be there. You know Brycen right? Why am I even asking you? Of course you do. Anyway he will be there along with a few friends of mine from Sinnoh, gym leaders too."

As soon as she said she was late for brunch I was all in. But then she said there would be other people—I know, of course there would be others, why would she be late to eat on her own? Anyway it didn't occur to me at the moment, and by the time she mentioned the rest of them I had resigned myself to lose her. Because going to bunch with a brunch of pretentious adults sounded like my worst nightmare. It didn't matter that I'd get the chance to see Brycen again. He was not only a gym leader but also a movie star. I'm going to go out on a limb here, and say, that his movies seem like they never even attempt to be realistic. I'm sorry if that offends anyone, says I, sarcastically. And it seems like, because the same things happen in every single one of his movies, they all seem to be the same movie. I know, you could make the case that all the movies tend to blend into already established types, and they only differ because of the type of movie it is—so most movies are the same. But that is particularly noticeable in Brycen's movies. At one point he and his giant beartic are breaking through the wall of a house at the top of a frozen cliff, both wearing half a shirt, and then later the whole house is falling down with them inside, it crashes down, and somehow both of them end up surviving. And then Brycen ends up getting the girl, and the girl's pokemon ends up with the beartic to match, and then the movie ends in an impossibly corny note, but then in the next movie the girl is gone and they make it seem like she's never been there in the first place, hoping nobody notices. Anyway, Lorelei had to leave, but before she did she kissed me on the cheek, very effusively, for a good amount of time, effectively pushing me with her lips, with sound too, which crescendoed until she released the vacuum she had created with her lips and my face, which ended with a lovely clap. Afterwards I was so flustered I couldn't even say goodbye to her, she was more than okay with this. She was smiling as she got out, but I didn't care. I was okay with it. For the first time ever I was okay with a woman older than me creating some amusement for herself at my expense. Barring relatives, because apparently they get a pass just for sharing some blood with me, if women older than me want to amuse themselves a bit by doing things like, I don't know, asking about my relationship status, and other examples; let's be honest, it's mainly that; if they want to do that, they have to kiss me like Lorelei did. It's only fair.

Then, just as she went out, this other woman walked in, followed by someone wearing a trench-coat and a fedora, who walked right behind her. She was very attractive too, but it was different in a way, she had probably the most beautiful face I had ever seen, and maybe I wasn't as attracted to her, because I guess I'm only attracted to people I know very well, but I could tell she had an extremely beautiful face. Maybe a hundred percent symmetrical and such. Big eyes, full lips and such, I'm not an expert. She was rather short and had very short blond hair, I don't know how to describe it. It was sort of futuristic, but very elegant too. It was styled to the side, and it had the same length all over except for the honey-colored fringe she had to her right side, which was much longer than her hair on the back, she had almost none of it on the back of her head, very modern-like, and yet she looked gorgeous, and the fringe almost covered her eye, but it didn't. Her blond hair really was very short, but it looked really good on her. She had big blue eyes and a very delicate face, and she gave me a smile before she sat to my left, on the same side of the car as me, but a few seats away, to my left. And the individual accompanying her sat next to her, to her left, so I couldn't take a good look at him. She was dressed like a model too, with a fancy red jacket with a puffy collar, and high heels, and very long earrings. At first I thought she might have been a model. Maybe she was some kind of model. Everything was fine for a while, nobody else had gone in our car so it was still mostly empty, except for the two piles of rugs which may have been two people. So in our car it was only the piles of rugs, the woman, her companion, and me. All of the sudden I heard a faint moan, kind of subtle, but definitely noticeable, and so my mind immediately went there. It almost sounded like someone was softly, very softly blowing a flute on one of the highest notes; not a good example. Regardless, because of the idea that so easily reached my mind, my neck was completely rigid, and I couldn't turn to see what was up. It sounded just like that kind of moan, and then it happened again, even louder than the first one, and at first I only thought that I had been unfortunate enough to have gotten in that car at that time, because I didn't want to be one of those people who had funny things happen to them on the subway. I wasn't even from Castelia anyway, so why did I have to go through that the one time I got on the subway? Some time later the woman felt more comfortable I guess, and she started moaning louder, and more suggestively, it sounded like she was really enjoying herself. It sounded like she was a soprano, but that might just have been because of the situation. All I did was cross my arms and turn to the right, and afterwards I was so flustered and my neck was so rigid I couldn't even turn to the front, I couldn't move in general. I was so anxious it almost hurt. I thought about moving a few more seats away from them, but then I couldn't help but listen to her, she had a very nice voice, very high pitched, but kind of pleasant. I could tell she wasn't very young but also not very old, from her voice. Then I wondered how I'd feel about that whole situation afterwards, and depending of how depressed it left me I could see that I'd have to end up killing myself, but I stopped thinking about all of that and just focused on listening. It was too distracting to think of anything else anyway. The moans became more aggressive, and she started screaming in between them. It became increasingly louder until she straight up screamed for quite a while, and then when I thought she would stop, she kept moaning like in the beginning. I just kept remembering how pretty she was, and how attractive her body was too. She kept moaning until the train stopped and the doors opened, and then I came back to my senses. At that point it occurred to me that they were just pulling a prank on me, and I kind of wanted that to be the truth. Then I noticed they were moving because of their steps, and when I sensed they were about to leave I turned to look at them. I couldn't see the woman's face, only her back as she got out of the car. But everything changed afterwards when I took a good look at her companion walking right behind her. It complicated everything to an absurd degree, and it made me want to start thinking about killing myself again, not only from how confusing it was. It was a freaking machoke, wearing the trench-coat and the hat, and the bastard had a very wide, almost malicious like smile on its face, I swear. I kept staring at it with my eyes like I couldn't believe what I was seeing. The machoke was almost definitely grinning at me, with its eyes too, very sinister-like. They got out and the doors closed, and the train kept going. And I just kept thinking about what could have just happened, and I resolved to believe that it was just a very bizarre prank, even though it felt way too natural to be one. Then I reached the park, and when I got up to get out of the car I couldn't help but notice an obvious piece of underwear right below the seat they were on moments ago.

I went to the park and sat on a bench for a few hours. I pretty much thought of nothing. Then it got dark and I realized I was starving, but before eating I wanted to get a bedroom, to have a roof secured. You always need a roof, at least during the night, just to ensure that your probabilities of dying are not dramatically raised. That's another important lesson. So I went to check out the Golden Psyduck, which happened to be right across the park. And the reason it happened to be right across the park was that it happened to be a super luxurious five star palace, which I knew I couldn't afford, and I immediately realized I would rather save myself from the embarrassment of walking in and asking the price for one night, then unceremoniously coming out with my head held high. Lorelei probably thought that, since in her view I was a big deal, a star, a big bright shining star, I'd have no problem with the money. But then I just started thinking of Lorelei, and then it occurred to me that she might be staying at that hotel, that she might already be there back from the brunch. I then remembered when she said that if one had to stay in Castelia it had to be at the Golden Psyduck. So I went in, walking like I was a big deal, with my head held high, maybe too high, and making myself look very important. I walked over to the front desk and put on a deeper voice, and asked the teenager attending it to give me Lorelei's room number, and to ring her for me. He said she wasn't staying there. I replied by exclaiming rather vociferously that such nonsense had to be a mistake, and then his boss appeared and I argued with him for a while, until he did a double take and told me he had forgotten about Lorelei. He apologized profusely, and then he ordered the teenager to apologize profusely too. I said it all would be fine if he'd call Lorelei for me, but he said that couldn't be possible. She had been staying there but had just left her room. At the very least, she had left a number, and the sorry workers offered to ring her for me.

"Lorelei! I'm here at the Golden Psyduck. What's this I hear about you leaving? Why so soon?"

"Really? Man! Why didn't you tell me? I would've stayed a bit more and we could've had a night out on the town. Sadly I was only in Castelia for a conference, you know I'm not only a part of the Kanto Elite 4, I'm also a chief officer on the board for the ice specialization confederation. We all met there at the Brown Deerling this afternoon, it's right there on the Golden Psyduck."

"Wait, what's the Brown Deerling?"

"Alright, we just started and you've started teasing me already."

"No I'm not."

"Right, of course Ash."

"I'm seriously not, I just don't know what the Brown Deerling is, I'm serious."

"Oh, really? Um, it's a restaurant, it's right there on the Golden Psyduck."

"The restaurant is on the hotel?"

"Yes."

"What? I'd never heard about something like that."

"Ha ha."

"Wait, so the conference was at the restaurant?"

"Of course, that's where most conferences happen these days."

"Wow, you must get nothing done then. But I guess that's just what happens if you try to do work at a restaurant."

"Excuse me? That's not the case at all. On the contrary, it's just better, that's how any business gets done these days. And let me tell you, we are finding all sorts of ways to maximize productivity, I can guarantee that in the future offices won't exist anymore, it'll all happen at restaurants, karaoke bars, etcetera."

"Why?"

"Because… ash! You're not getting it. Are you sure you aren't making fun of me?"

"I promise I'm not."

"Listen, if working is fun, and everyone is always involved in it, everything is more productive, and better. Therefore, it is better if everyone loves their job, definitely way better if it always takes place in a fun environment, where everyone can do it together."

"Sounds kind of asphyxiating to me. How can you even focus that way? Isn't it better to have some peace and quiet to concentrate?"

"What? Not at all silly. After all wouldn't you want to eat while you work? Wouldn't it just be better if everyone loved their job?"

"I don't think every person in the world can get the job of their dreams."

"No but see that's the thing, they don't have to get the job of their dreams, instead they can love whatever it is that they end up doing."

"Maybe you're just in that transitioning period where you can't see that some people will always hate their job."

"Ash! What do you know anyway? But how would you know? Mr. Adventurer, always having adventures. You need to stop sometime and see what the rest of us regular humans are doing. Let me tell you, you feel that way now, as you roam free wherever you please, whenever you please, but sooner or later someone's gonna get you. Someone's gonna tie you down and force you to take a break, and then you'll see that it's a good thing that now you can eat where you work."

"Yeah, I don't think so. Nobody's ever going to tie me down. I'll never stop, I'll never give up."

"Ha, that's what you say now. That's what I used to say, but let me tell you Ash Ketchum, someday, someone's gonna catch you, sooner or later, and you'll stop saying that."

"There's no way that's going to happen to me."

"Oh but it's going to happen. It's not like it might, it will. I have it on good faith that you have your fair share of admirers Ash, there's no point in lying to me. You're a very popular gentleman, you have the world at your feet. I know how you feel now, but you'll see. And you'll remember me when it happens."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes you will, you'll remember me. And you won't need me to tell you I told you so, but you bet I will anyway. I'm making it sound like it's a bad thing, it's not. Not in the least, you'll be so happy, and probably fat."

"What? You can't predict that."

"I most certainly can, you'll be happy that you're fat though, so don't worry about that. And you'll know that I was right, and you'll think of me whenever you eat."

"Oh yeah, well if you keep talking like that I might just have to visit you in Kanto and eat you up," I said.

The conversation then took a turn for the worse. I can't remember what happened later.


	9. Chapter 9

I had to get a way from that whole zone, because there I would only find places like the Golden Psyduck which I couldn't afford. Luckily I knew Castelia pretty well, and I knew exactly where to go. After walking through many streets down south I found a much more modest hotel, much, much smaller. I went in and asked for a room but they told me I couldn't get one, because even though it was a hotel I couldn't spend the whole night there, and I couldn't even go in without a companion. What a joke, I'd be surprised if that place is still in business today. It didn't matter anyway, I found another hotel nearby, and a few more; the streets were full of them actually. I kind of wanted to check out all of them, just to compare the prices and check out the general vibe and what not. I didn't even care it was getting dark out, because it was kind of fun, honestly, and I figured they'd be used to answer all sort of questions that the prospective clients had anyway. Otherwise they wouldn't have gone into the hotel business.

One of them wasn't even a hotel but a hostel instead, I don't really know the difference between the two. All I know is that at the hostel they cared a lot less about the clients, and definitely cared less about the place itself. I guess at the hostel they cared less in general. The sign at the front, which announced that the place was a hostel, was just a piece of wood stuck to the front door. At least it was a nice piece of wood, and the letters looked professional and such, but without the sign you wouldn't have noticed the place was a hostel at all. The building looked just like any other apartment building in that part of Castelia, which had many more modest hotels and apartment buildings, with twenty four hour stores and diners on the bottom floors, and hobos on every corner and alleyway. At least that was the real part of Castelia, the one almost no one thought of when they thought about the biggest city in Unova. Places like the big park, with establishments such as the Golden Psyduck, were only the pretty front, overall a small part of it.

I decided to stay at the hostel, not because it was the cheapest choice really, I mean it was, by far, but rather because the of girl who attended it, I don't know what you'd call her, the manager perhaps. Anyway she knew me, and was rather surprised when I walked in. I was just confused, and when she realized I had no idea who she was she got angry. She was this mature looking girl, not really old, she was actually rather young, but just mature looking. I don't know how else to describe her, she seemed very serious, like the kind of woman whom you'd think would scold you if you told her a joke. But she turned out to be pretty easygoing, too much of it I'd say. I guess her seriousness was just a front. I wonder how many people are actually pretty easygoing behind their stern facade, which drives people like me away. Anyway, she had very lively red hair, cut rather short. It was almost orange, but you could tell it was her natural color. She had very serious blue eyes, very clear, and a very serious mouth too, like, she didn't smile, at all. And she had a very pronounced square jaw, but she was still very pretty. Not that there's anything wrong with square jaws on girls, but I guess they are more unusual on them than on guys. There's also nothing wrong with not smiling. I remember I used to tell serious people to smile more and get hyped and such, when I was a dumb kid. When I remembered about that a few weeks ago I seriously punched myself on the shoulder, for real, and I deserved it too, because now I knew what it felt like to hear that. Anyway, the girl's name was Aldith, and she used to be part of this faux terrorist group full of vindictive rich kids, who thought it was a good idea to follow a mentally ill person and do everything he said. But then all the rich kids grew up, and their parents wouldn't give them money just for breathing anymore, at least not to all of them, so they had to get jobs, and that's when the group lost a lot of steam. Supposedly their purpose was to free everyone's pokemon but also to take over the world, because they were very angry, and because they didn't have anything else to do. Anyway that got nowhere, obviously, but luckily for Aldith her uncle owned that place and gave her a job caring for it. I remembered her. When I was in my prime, when I was a child, she made life very difficult for me, just getting in my way and bothering me for no reason other than being hateful with her crap. But as I was in my prime, me and my pokemon always came out on top. I took it as a challenge, I thought it'd be useful. And when I told her this she changed her tune, she seemed pleased that I was mad at her. She was alright.

She gave me a small tour of the premises. A bunch of hallways that led to a bunch of rooms with a bunch of beds in them, and a bunch of laundry all over the floor. It smelled like used socks. Overall the place was quite clean, but also deteriorated, like there were some cracks on the walls and on the floors, and the lights just seemed old, I don't know, like the place needed more light. Everything looked brown. She said there was space for me on one of the communal bedrooms, but on our way there I heard a bunch of people laughing very loudly all of the sudden, and then the laughs just stopped and it was total silence, and then they laughed again very loudly. They were definitely adults, young adults, but they had to have big bodies to laugh like that. I caught only a glimpse of the room and saw a bunch of red faces, probably from all the laughing, a bump bed with two guys staring at something which I couldn't see from that angle, and a bunch of clothes with a guy passed out on top of them. I also heard some people jumping on a bed. Aldith went in but immediately turned around, making a sound of surprise, and then she pushed me away and told me they were busy.

Then I got all weird, like a bit sad and displeased, and I had a disgusted smirk on my face, because I kept thinking about sharing a room with those guys. I guess I was hoping Aldith would see me and get me another room, and she did. She took me to the floor upstairs and gave me the only room in there with a bed on it. It smelled weird, like they had left it completely closed for too long, even though it had no doors. There were two doors actually, well, two open spaces were doors should be, both of which led to two different hallways, and there weren't any windows on the room itself, although there was a big one on the hallway, and I could pretty much see it from the door. There was no tv, and the drawers there were very hard to pull, and the room didn't have a bathroom of its own. I really liked the room, it felt pretty cozy to me for some reason. And the bed was tidied at least, like even though the room had no doors they were expecting somebody to use it. And I knew very well, in Castelia, there were a lot of people looking for a room with no doors, I was one of them after all.

Besides, the room itself was actually nice, and you could tell they actually tried. It was painted with the same brown paint as the rest of the place, and it looked liked they rushed to finish the job, but, I don't know, I guess I appreciated the gesture, and at least they weren't pretending.

Aldith offered to make me something for dinner but I was pretty beat so I declined. If I had been my mom I'd probably would have forced me to eat something, but I wasn't, and I was a lot more tired than hungry. I wish could've fallen asleep when I wanted to, the young adults were making a bunch of noise and laughing pretty loudly. There were moments when it seemed like they had stopped, only for them to laugh very loudly and brake the silence. They also loved to jump on the beds for some reason. So I spent a good part of the night silently raging, wishing a charizard would just barge in and torch the whole place. At some point I fell asleep, I don't even remember exactly, and I genuinely thought I wouldn't be able to.

The next morning when I woke up, I really don't know what time it was, and I couldn't have cared, because, I found Aldith sleeping right next to me, inches away, on the same twin bed. She was covered with the same blanket I was, had not changed clothes, hadn't even taken off her red jumper, and had her back to me. I think my elbow was actually touching her when I woke up, and her legs were still resting over mine, but I guess she was still asleep. I didn't think much about it, I just knew that I had to get out of there. I don't know if you think I'm weird or something else, for wanting to get out of there more than anything else, but it didn't happen to you, at least not like that. In all my life, I genuinely have never known why that is a problem, and nothing of what people have said to me about it, about girls, and believe me, people have talked to me extensively about it, anyway, nothing of what they've said to me about it has managed to convince me that it is a problem. I got the blanket off of me and noticed she hadn't even taken off her shoes. I spent some time slowly moving my legs away from hers, and then I tried using my arms to lift myself up, but then the stupid bed made a loud noise that woke her up instantly. She inhaled and then moved a little, then she turned slowly at me. I was resting on my elbow, facing her.

"Don't freak out, I know this is very unprofessional, it's just, this is the best bed," she said.

"It's fine," I just said.

"Damn it, I was hoping to leave before you woke up, I really didn't want to sleep with those guys downstairs."

"Don't you have a room here that's for you?"

"That's my room, downstairs."

"And why do you let them stay there?"

"Meh, I don't know, I'm sorry, I'll leave."

"It's okay, I understand, you can stay a bit if you want."

"Really? Just a few minutes more."

"Sure, I'm used to sleeping around people anyway, pretty much my whole life. And I was the one who bothered everyone else actually, with my snoring,"

"Me too, with the sleeping next to people I mean, but I don't really snore."

I moved to lay on my back, I was on the left side. I put my elbow down and rolled over, only, I nearly fell off, the bed was pretty small after all. I didn't make a noise or anything, and then I adjusted my back safely, thinking she didn't notice. But when I looked at her she had a mocking grin on her face, while resting on her side, with her hand on her cheek and her elbow embedded on the bed and everything. I made it look like it didn't bother me and closed my eyes, then opened them almost immediately afterwards to look at her. She was still staring at me, but when I held her gaze for a little bit she looked away, and then I looked away, and I don't know if she looked at me again. She probably did. It was a really nice moment, very peaceful and such, and I really enjoyed the quiet for once. It was warm, we weren't touching. All the people downstairs were asleep, probably passed out. I remember noise didn't use to bother me at all, it didn't affect me, no matter how loud it was. But then it started bothering a lot more the older I got, and I started appreciating moments of silence like never before. Then Aldith touched my chest all of the sudden, and started rubbing it gently. I only had a white shirt and my trousers on, I really didn't remember; I can't sleep any other way. But she didn't care at all. I stared at her hand for some time, then I turned to her, but I couldn't look at her in the eye. I just moved my head back and let the moment happen. Then she got awfully close to me and I got really anxious all of the sudden, first on my chest, and it felt like it could have hurt, and then to my head, and then all over. She started kissing my cheek a lot, and then my jaw and then my chin, a lot of kisses, but slowly. Then Aldith moved even closer and kissed my left cheek too. She gave me a lot of soft kisses, and she did it in a way that I can't quite explain. I guess it was just that it wasn't threatening at all, like with a lot of care, and very warm, like she just wanted to kiss my cheeks softly. Then she moved away.

"What's the matter?" She asked.

"Nothing," I said. I had to keep looking at her just to see where her eyes went. I definitely needed to move my body but I also did not want to attract her attention to it, so I just stood still. She just kept staring at my face anyway.

"Give me your hand," she said. And I just gave it to her. She held it with both of her hands, then she kissed my palm, a lot, and very softly too. Then she smelled it and then placed it on her cheek, with her hands still holding it, so I couldn't really move it, but I still caressed her jaw with my thumb a little bit. Then she buried her face on the mattress but kept my hand on her cheek. It felt good, I wanted her to kiss me again. I genuinely thought about trying to kiss her too, and I couldn't deal with it. Whatever. She moved very suddenly but still slowly somehow, and looked at my lap, then she looked at me, then she smiled.

"How old are you?" She asked me.

"Sixteen," I said. "And you?"

"Nineteen."

"Really?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You look older than that," I said. I just meant to say that she looked older than she was, not that her looking older meant she looked worse than she would have looked if she didn't look older, because she in fact looked beautiful.

Anyway she buried her kind of long fingernails in my palm, and it really hurt. I guess they weren't long for a girl, but they were still technically long. My hand certainly thought so. I screamed and took back my hand. A few seconds passed, but the pain stayed. My palm still stung, even my fingers stung. We just stared at each other, I don't know what she was thinking, I was just waiting for her to say anything.

"Do you want me to kiss it for you?" She asked me, with her hand extended at me, welcomingly. And I just gave it back to her. And she just kissed it very softly again, but this time a bit more energetically, and audibly.

"I'm sorry," she said. "Do you forgive me?"

"Yes," I said. And then she laughed a little.

"Do you think it's bad that I'm nineteen and you're sixteen?"

"I don't know," I said. I really just didn't know.

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"I mean I don't know."

"Do you feel wrong?" She seemed confused.

"Me? No, why?"

"How do you feel?"

"I feel fine, and you?"

"Just fine?"

"Yeah, I mean, I feel good, it's nice."

"Yeah? You like this?"

"Yeah, and you?"

"I do."

"Good," I said.

Then Aldith got on her knees and started taking her jumper off, and she kissed me on the cheek while she did it, taking a bit of my lip too, and I kissed her a bit. Then she put her chest on my chest and stroked my cheek.

"Wait," I said.

"What is it?"

"Are we going to do more?"

"Yeah, I want you. We can do whatever you're comfortable with," she said. "Have you never done this before?"

I just moved my head while looking straight at her.

"Oh dear, don't worry, I'll teach you," Aldith said. Then she kissed me on the cheek one time. "Or we can wait if you want."

"Okay," I said very suddenly. It felt as if she had just given me a chance to exit an extremely tense situation and I had instinctively taken it without pondering more about it. And then she got off of me. She seemed disappointed, and I suddenly wished I hadn't said anything, but I just didn't know how to tell her that I had changed my mind. I covered myself with the blanket and she put her jumper back on.

"You really don't want to do it now?" She said. And I got really anxious again.

"I just want to make sure I'm ready, I just want to make sure I'm ready," I said. And she looked at me for a few seconds.

"Do you like me?" She asked me.

"Yes, I do," I said. And I meant it, she was really beautiful.

She was still on her knees. She grabbed the blanket and covered me all the way to my chin, then she kissed my forehead and my cheek a lot, very softly, and then told me to go back to sleep. I suddenly wanted to kiss her too, and I tried to touch her, but she got off the bed before I could. Then she walked away, but she blew me a kiss before she left.

Say whatever you want, but I only regret it sometimes. I barely knew her, I would rather have had sex with May, or Dawn, or even with my friend Misty, because I knew them and I loved them, and I could even marry them. And I mean just one. Because what's so wrong about just one person? I mean it's awfully hard to get to know one person anyway, and it's really difficult as it is. Why is it that everyone is so obsessed with so many people? It's not like it's very easy to handle them, they all have mothers too, if you know what I mean, and if you don't, then you don't know much of anything. And I do think that you can only truly love one person, and I have my reasons for it. One of them, is that it's extremely difficult to deal with simply one person, because it's not just one person, but a whole world, with many more people on it, that you have to make your own if you want to be with that person. At times like this, when I think of this, I do miss being a trainer, a pokemon trainer. And sure, if Aldith let me, I would probably make out with her a lot, if she'd let me, but I don't know if I'd be able to do anything else with her, so there. That much I know.


	10. Chapter 10

I got dressed and went for a walk, I kind of really needed it. The whole thing with Aldith reminded me of my travels as a kid, it felt very familiar, up until it got weird anyway. No but seriously, I used to sleep around girls a lot. We had to stay close to each other during the night, and we had to get used to it. While I was traveling with them, be it with Misty or May or Iris, or Dawn, or Serena, or Bonnie, we'd have to make due with whatever we had wherever we were, and it was almost always on the ground. It didn't get better than a flat piece of soil without any rocks on it. I also could go a few days without bathing or eating real food, and it was kind of dangerous too, and that wasn't the only thing to worry about. More often than not you'd encounter wild pokemon, who'd instantly start chasing you out of their land if they saw you, and some of them were very powerful too. So it was very important that we stuck together during the night. But none of that ever bothered me, not in the least, and it didn't bother my friends either, we were having the time of our lives.

Aldith's eyes specifically reminded me of this one girl from Kalos named Serena. I don't know where she is now, but she still pops up to say hi every once in a while. The last time I heard from her she was actually on my home region of Kanto. When that happened I was actually about to go back there myself. Maybe she had heard about me coming back, now that I think about it. But in the end I didn't go back to Kanto that time. Before I went back I decided to head to another region at the last second. I had the energy to do that, I didn't care, I had just traveled for miles and miles through this one place and a moment later I was about to start over again. And it was always better when I had someone to travel with, and I guess that's why I rushed to yet another region so fast. My friend Gary suddenly popped up out of nowhere, I had known him for pretty much for all of my life, he was from Kanto too. Anyway, before he even finished talking to me about this region he was visiting soon I had already decided I'd go with him. The names of these places tend to blend together in my mind, it's not like they are really all that different from one another really, at least not now that I think about it. Anyway I hadn't heard from Serena since, and if I had had her number or if I had had an idea of where she was I would have probably called her, but there was no use, and I forgot about it by that night anyway. She's a great person, she loves baking sweets, and she's a great performer, one of the best. I guess you could say she's a girly girl, she's very in tune with fashion and stuff like that, more than any other girl I traveled with. The only one who'd be the closest to her would be May, but even she couldn't compare to Serena in terms of fashion. I don't know how to say it, I'm not really in tune with that myself, I don't even pick my own clothes for me, except for the snobby jacket I guess. At some point when I was traveling with one of the girls, like at the middle point of the journey, their hair would start looking worse, and they'd have more trouble combing it and such. I guess that's why they always had their hair short, except for Iris, but she always had trouble to comb her hair, regardless of if we were in the middle of the forest or not, she was that shabby, she really didn't care for her hair. But anyway that never happened to Serena. It didn't matter where we were, her hair always looked shiny and well cared for, and her clothes always looked clean, and she always smelled nice, literally always. She cared a lot about her appearance, but she didn't care a lot about other things. One time she almost died from starvation. It used to be that, when we were in the forest and didn't have a lot to eat, either she or my nerdy friend Clemont would cook something, but, you see, for me it was never enough, and sometimes Serena would give me part of her food. I was a beast, and I used to eat everything they put in front of me, and I'm not like that anymore, now I barely eat, but it was really bad during that time. And, I guess it happened way too many times and she got used to giving me her food, even when I didn't ask her, and it got to the point where she got really ill because of that. I didn't notice until it got really serious, she could have died, and I really wish I had noticed, I swear. I feel awful about it, and it destroys me every time I remember, like at that moment when I was walking through Castelia. At that moment I wanted to call her to apologize for being a dick, but I didn't know how, and even if I called her, knowing her, she would have probably said it wasn't my fault, even though it obviously was. I really had no idea it was happening, and at the time I actually got really mad at her for not saying anything. I know, I suck. She's really a great person, she really didn't have to deal with my stupidity. I assume she would have preferred to hang out with someone who cared more for his appearance, or at least showered every day. She was way too nice to me for no reason. Now that I think about it, she was too nice, and there must have been a reason for it. And if there was, what was I supposed to do about it? I was a kid. Kids do stupid stuff, you can get angry at kids, but you can't hate them and you certainly can't blame them, because kids are stupid by default. For them, and maybe only for them, it is not their fault. I don't know what I would do now, maybe nothing, but at least now I know I'm being stupid, and unlike when I was a kid, now I deserve what happens to me. I really should stop thinking about it. Anyway, Aldith's eyes reminded me of her, and they also reminded me of Bonnie. She's Clemont's little sister, and I didn't have to look at anyone's eyes to remember her. However, she did remind me of someone. She reminded me of Max I guess, but also, of me. She traveled with us, me, Clemont and Serena, all through Kalos. And she never got tired, and she always ate a lot. She was too young to train pokemon at the time, I really wish she wouldn't have been, I would have loved to teach her stuff. She still learned a lot from me, and from Serena too. I think at the time she learned more from us than from her own brother, she was definitely more interested in fashion and pokemon than in science and such. Although I don't mean to say she didn't love Clemont, because she in fact loved her brother very much. 

All of the sudden I got a very intense urge to go to Kalos, to visit them. I kind of really wanted to see them, and even though I didn't think I had enough money for a plane ticket, I thought maybe a boat would do, but I decided against it in the end. It was too much trouble, and I wouldn't have known what to say when I got there. After the urge went away I decided to go to the Golden Osyduck and eat a fancy breakfast, just to spend my money, otherwise I'd want to get on a boat to Kalos, and then I'd have zero money and be farther from home than ever before, instead of having some money and being simply far from home. And I still wouldn't have known what to say.


	11. Chapter 11

I went to the fancy restaurant inside the Golden Psyduck, I can't remember what it was called. It had a specific name, even though it was part of the hotel. I sneaked in through the lobby and sat on the table by the bathroom, mainly because it was the only one free, also, I was starving. Anyway, I still tried to look like I wasn't dying, and then ordered pancakes and a milkshake when the waiter came. Nevertheless my food took a long time to arrive, luckily, a girl carrying a tray passed by my table and left me a glass of berry juice, which I downed in like two seconds.

It was a busy morning and the place was full, of sophisticated old people. It was hilarious actually. Even though they were closer to death than to anything else they were divided into boys and girls. There were like three large groups of men, and two even larger groups of women, all of them chatting very loudly about the issues of the day. I crossed my legs and tried to blend in, I didn't look too much out of place with my jacket anyway. Then I grabbed the newspaper that was on my table, and then turned to the old guy on the table next to me, and said, "I wish I'd brought my glasses, am I right?" and he just nodded. I can't even remember what the headlines were, I just remembered that they were boring. A few ladies were holding lit cigarettes on their hands as if they were selling them, and they would release the smoke as if they were in a movie. There were some other people on their own too, all of them reading the newspaper. They were all doing it in a very specific way, with their chins high and their legs crossed, and all of them had glasses on, like they wanted people to know they were reading about important issues in an important way. It seemed to me like they could exchange lives and nobody would notice, and nobody would care. It also looked quite funny at least, and I had not much to do. I knew I'd have to wait an eternity to eat when I decided to go there.

Everything was fine when the guy brought me my food though, and it looked really delicious, like they could take a picture of it and put it on the menu, and, I'll admit, I got really excited. The milkshake came with a silly straw in the form of a huntail, and the syrup came in an ursaring container. I drowned the pancakes on syrup, then cut them in perfect squares, literally perfect to the human eye. It took me quite a long time. However, when I sank my fork and reached to take a bite, as I opened my mouth, I locked eyes with one of the smoking ladies, and got really embarrassed. All of the sudden I was way too aware of how out of place I looked, even with my new jacket. It was very jarring, nobody else was eating pancakes, I guess I did look pretty childish. And because of the shame I didn't enjoy eating the pancakes, or drinking the milkshakes, and even though I ordered two more, and the three of them were very delicious, it still felt wrong to eat, although it wasn't particularly hard, but I just couldn't shake the feeling of shame, and I knew it'd bother me later.

I didn't use to feel shame like that, it's not like I was trying to fit in, in fact I knew I didn't want to fit in with those people at all, I just wanted to get food in me and carry on, and yet I still felt ashamed.

On my way out of the restaurant my eyes noticed an anomaly on one of the tables, and after a few seconds of mental processing, I was able to distinguish the familiar face of a gym leader from Sinnoh, a woman named Fantina, who was waving at me with an expression in her face that made it evident, at least to me, that she wanted to tease me. It was on her eyes and on her smile. If it had been Lorelei I would've stopped, with a smile on my face, but it wasn't, so I tried to ignore her and walked out of the restaurant with my head held high as she shouted my name. To my surprise Fantina came out too, a few seconds later, and I only heard her screaming my name, not daring to turn, and decided to try and walk away quickly.

"Ash Ketchum!" she shouted. "Where are you going? Come back here!"

"What?" I shouted, not very loud. Then I turned back and looked at her, she was still holding the door with her hand, and she seemed crazy.

"Lorelei told me about how you flirted with her while having a girlfriend! You're a bodacious young man!"

"What?"

"Don't play dumb! I know you're at the age where you hide the fact that you have a girlfriend just to save you from some teasing!"

"What are you talking about? I don't have a girlfriend."

"Yeah right!"

"Seriously, I don't have one."

"Are you going to stick with that?"

"I just drank three milkshakes with a silly straw in the form of a huntail, look." I took the straw out of my pocket and showed it to her. I had taken it with me. "See, at what age are you supposed to stop this sort of behavior?" I said. I still have it, it's made out of hard plastic.

"That's a terrible excuse," she said. "Why else would you be here in Castelia dressed like that? It's easy to figure you out, it's written all over your face."

"I have no idea what you're talking about, I've pretty much done nothing. I visited a sick friend, met with some other friends and chilled for a bit, went on the subway, weird stuff happened, not a big deal, got a place to sleep, also not a big deal, and now I'm here, and nothing's happening, is it?

"Oh please, even from a mile away you can see how much you're trying to hide what you've been doing. Let me guess, you're fresh off one of your dates. Good for you, and at least you are dressed properly."

"Why do you have to ruin my day?" I said very honestly. I was getting sick of her, and it seemed like she didn't want to stop bothering me.

"Excuse me?"

"I'm telling you exactly what I did, maybe if you were listening to me instead of making up your own scenarios you would have heard me correctly."

"Don't speak to me like that."

"If you're just going to reject my answers and come up with your own conclusions I don't need to be here for that. You can imagine whatever you want, you can even imagine that I have a girlfriend, but you don't need me for that."

"What! I think I should feel a little insulted."

"You feel insulted? What about me? I just told you the truth, you didn't care for it and started telling me stuff that I didn't do. If I'd had a girlfriend it would've been fine, but I don't." Then I burped slightly. It was a light burp for me, but it was still quite audible. "I don't feel very good," I said. And then I started feeling slightly dizzy. "Hey, are you still running your gym on… Kalos right?"

"Sinnoh, Ash! The Hearthome Gym on Hearthome City, the fifth largest city in the World, is located on Sinnoh. And of course I'm still running it, I'm not as old as you think I am."

"Sorry, I'm feeling a little lightheaded. I had a big meal, anyway I didn't mean it like that. But maybe you should go back to Kalos… I mean Sinnoh, so I can, not have this conversation right now." Then I burped really loud, and for a prolonged period of time, after which I finished by also releasing an alleviating moan. The moment was too far gone anyway, and I was genuinely feeling kind of nauseous, especially after the second burp.

"I think I'm gonna go," I said. Then I turned back as she started shouting at me, but I didn't stop. And then I just left. Not only did I leave, I sprinted all the way to the park, and didn't stop until I was far enough away, until I was sweating and had trouble breathing. Honestly, of all the things I did during that time, snubbing Fantina like that is one of the things I don't feel bad about. She straight up told me she was going to tease me after all, and by now it should be obvious that I hate that. I don't know exactly what Lorelei had told her, I haven't spoken to her since our tragic conversation on the phone. Maybe Fantina just wanted to catch up with me, and started the conversation in a very abrasive manner, and maybe I went too far, but I also felt like I could've vomited, and needed to get out of there fast. Maybe Fantina was just one of those people who couldn't help but be abrasive even when they didn't mean to. But that same kind of people seems to be pretty good at teasing, and women like that can tease anybody, even other women, and I just wasn't feeling up to it, during that queasy moment. Anyway, I shouldn't have ran. For a moment there it seemed like I was going to have to find something else to eat, but I wasn't going to let the food I had already eaten, out of all things, defeat me. I struggled to keep it down, in a safe spot I found on the park, where, If I had puked, nobody would've seen me. But I didn't, I kept it all in, like a champion. Shut up.


	12. Chapter 12

It was a really nice day out so I decided to stay on the park for a while. I sat on a bench by the lake and waited until my stomach calmed down. There were a bunch of trainers on bikes riding around, with their pokemon riding along with them very spiritedly. They reminded me of the times of my youth, the pokemon I mean. I have nothing against people who ride bikes everywhere, although maybe unconsciously I do. And I guess if they are going to ride them anywhere then what better place to do it than the park, right? Well, some of them passed right in front of me, and if I'd had my feet extended the wheels would've run over them. And the worst part is that it was only the trainers who could've chopped my legs off, their pokemon were always mindful and respectful of my space, and even smiled as they passed by me.

It was a nice, cool day nonetheless, and the people and pokemon were cool and happy. I remember specifically a jolly old lady that walked right in front of me, holding a little girl's hand, probably her granddaughter. The old lady was wearing a very funny hat that covered her whole head from the sun. Even though even I could tell the hat wasn't fashionable at all, it was extremely effective against the sunlight, in fact the sunlight probably didn't affect her at all, and that's probably all she cared about. And the little girl, the granddaughter, had a school uniform on and a very tiny pink backpack on her back. She looked like a miniature version of a schoolgirl, she was that small.

As they passed by me I was able to listen to what they were saying. The little girl was asking the old lady about all the things she could learn about in school. First she asked if she could learn about chanseys, then she asked about the moon, then about the stars, then about the trees, and so on, and her grandmother would answer with a simple yes, which somehow still sounded very loving, to her every question. The last thing that the little girl said, the last thing I could hear at least, was that she couldn't wait for the next day to go back to school and learn a lot more. That was very funny to me, it made me laugh quite a lot. I had to contain myself and put my hand on my mouth, just to avoid looking like a crazy person, and then when it was over and they were gone I thought that having a daughter would be nice, and that I wouldn't mind changing diapers for some time if she said funny things every once in a while.

All of the sudden a hobo sat next to me and asked if I had a cigarette. He didn't smell bad, thankfully, but you could tell he was a hobo. He looked like what I imagine an archaeologist looks like, maybe after a sandstorm. I told him I didn't have any, and he looked really disappointed. At the time I didn't care for that because he was invading my bench. You see, I think in most places there's the implicit agreement that if somebody is using a bench on the park you cannot sit there but instead find your own bench. Apparently that doesn't ever apply to smokers. On the other hand, I think they only invade other people's benches when they really need a cigarette. It is a very adult thing to do, smoking. I really don't think you should smoke if you are not an adult, because if you are not an adult then you are stupid by default, and you can't yet make your own decisions, and that's okay. Adults know what they are getting into, they are going to start doing something that will harm them and will get them addicted to it, and will cost them a lot of money. Anyway, the hobo didn't leave, but I didn't mind it that much because he didn't smell bad, and he was actually pretty cool.

"That's good, smoking is bad for you," he said, with a very raspy voice. He had a white beard that was longer on one side, and was wearing a khaki fisherman's hat, with a little plastic fish hanging from it. I don't remember what those things are called, my brain isn't working that well at the moment.

"Why did you ask me if I had one then?" I said.

"Because I wanted to see if you were one of the good guys," he replied.

"Yeah right, and you are a good guy too?"

"You bet."

"Is that so? And what do you think makes you one of the good guys hobo?" Right after I said that I felt bad, and with good reason. I think hobos get a bad rep. Sure, some of them are shameless drunkards, but so are douchebags, and those are still allowed at fancy restaurants. And I think there are more decent hobos than there are decent douchebags, anyway. "I'm sorry hobo, what's your name?" I asked him.

"My name is cleaved Joe," he said.

"Yeah right."

"That's my name."

"If you say so."

"Don't take this the wrong way bro, but I don't mind if you believe that's my name or not, or what you think of me because of it. What is your name anyway?"

"Ash."

"Ash?" He said. Then he started singing. His voice was completely out of tune, but overall it was weirdly endearing. His tone started normally, then went lower, then lower, then higher, then increasingly higher. Then the lowest. Then he basically stopped singing and started doing spoken word.

"…See the ash raise to the sky, from what once was, that is no more, and I just cry, and cry, and cry, and cry, and cry, until I die. But, oh, how I wish I hadn't cried! Was there anything else? To be honest, I do not know, and I do not care. Watch it fly away nonetheless, away, and away, to never come back, no matter what they say."

"Is that a real song?" I asked once he finished.

"More or less." 

Then the sky started rumbling pretty hard, and both the hobo and I looked up, and stared at it for a while. We continued staring at the sky for a few minutes, while everyone else around us hurried to get out of there. At least in my mind I didn't think anything would happen, and I wouldn't mind if anything did happen anyway. It was a nice day out, and in my mind it would stay a nice day out regardless of what happened. We kept staring at the sky in silence until it started raining rather hard, out of the sudden. Only a few minutes beforehand—I think, it felt like only a few minutes passed—it wasn't even cloudy, and even after it started raining I could see some of the blue on the sky, a bit far away from the huge gray cloud directly over us. I stood up, I was instantly getting really wet.

"Sit down bro, or what, a tiny bit of whater is going to scare you off?" Cleaved Joe said.

"Normally it wouldn't Cleaved, but today I'm just not keen on getting soaked, and you shouldn't be either. No offense, but how many dry changes of clothes do you have? Because right now I only have one."

Another crucial life lesson, you need to wear acceptably clean clothes at all times, otherwise people won't mind you, and, here's the thing, you need people to mind you at all times, just to survive. At least it's not that hard to keep your clothes clean, getting used to keeping them clean though, is pretty hard. Also, if you ever have to decide between wearing wet clothes or being naked, choose being naked; trust me.

"What I'm wearing is what I have," the hobo said, "but a little bit of whater is not going to harm my clothes. Look at the whater, it's coming down faster than in a washing machine, I'm getting a bath and laundry done at the same time."

"Have some respect for yourself hobo."

Cleaved Joe stood up very defiantly. It seemed like I had angered him a bit. "Oh, believe me bro," he said. "I have as much self-respect for myself as the next guy has for his or herself."

"Whatever, but seriously let's get out of here, come on."

I actually waited for the hobo to decide, and he took his time. He seemed to be hesitating at first but, honestly, I wasn't going to leave without him. That's just how I felt. And he did come with me once he noticed I was serious, and I really was. And we ran away. I recognize I shouldn't have gotten so deep into the park, because even though there were some trees with a little bit of cover, we still got very wet. On the other hand, if I hadn't reached the lake I wouldn't have met the hobo, and out of all the people I met during that time, he's probably my favorite, or second favorite, or third. Probably first. We ran to the entrance of the park and found cover below one of those information boots where you could get a tour bus, that is, if you ever wanted to get one, and the attendant was rather nice and understanding. Although for a few minutes it kept raining quite hard and the drops of water made big splashes on the ground that still managed to get us even more wet.

"I wasn't kidding Ash," Cleaved Joe said. "You think I don't have respect for myself only because I don't look or act like everyone else—like those seemingly well adapted people."

"Come on Cleaved, don't give me that."

"I mean it. Think about it Ash, do you really think they really respect themselves? They don't, they just dress like that cause they're afraid people won't like them. To fit in."

"Seriously? Are you going to say that, about how it's better to be yourself, dressed like that?" I said. I was being very cheeky, on purpose. At first I thought he didn't notice I was joking, because, after I said it, he pushed me out of cover and I got drenched immediately. But then I noticed he had a shameless smile on his face. Then I pushed him, and he got drenched.

"There's the bath you wanted so much," I said.

"Oh yeah? Very funny, Ash, what kind of name is that anyway?" he said. Then he pushed me again.

"It's a real name, if a bit unusual, unlike Cleaved Joe which you clearly made up." I pushed him back. He retaliated once more, and we kept pushing each other out of cover until it stopped raining, at least noticeably. I was having fun, honestly, I actually couldn't remember when it had been the last time I had enjoyed myself like that. I remember the attendant of the booth was looking at us awkwardly, but I really didn't care. I still don't care about it actually.

"But seriously Ash," Cleaved Joe said. "What do you prefer, pretend to fit in, or do as you feel like without worrying what others think of you?"

"I don't know," I said, even though I clearly favored the latter. I didn't say that I didn't care what others thought of me, only because that would mean I was just like the hobo, who was a good example of the choice that had the lack of worry in it. I guess being a hobo would be nice if it wasn't for the smell or the starving or the not having a roof.

After I had a fight with a hobo on the park, I became friends with him and invited him to watch a movie. I bought the tickets and the food for the both of us, I was actually pretty hungry anyway. We still got matinee price even though it was like two in the afternoon, and even though it was a weekday the theater was rather packed. The movie sucked, but I still kind of enjoyed it. It was one of those disposable horror flicks that used to scare me a lot. But now the only thing that scared me about them was the boredom that I'd get while watching them. I remember when those movies used to scare me, and, honestly, I kind of wish they still did. And I used to not be able to go to the bathroom because of them. That's way better than what I have now. Those movies have always sucked, and they always will, but now I can tell just how much they suck, and they really suck. If it hadn't been for Cleaved Joe I'd have had a terrible time.

We didn't even get to finish the movie anyway, and if what happened hadn't happened, I'd have liked to have finished it. But halfway through the movie I started hearing those funny moans, right behind our row too. We were right on the freaking middle of the theater, not even at the back. And yet, I could hear those funny moans, obviously from a lady. I guess not from a lady. But anyway, it did stop for a little bit, and I thought everything would be fine, for once, but then I heard the same not-lady voice say, "I don't like it, stop," very clearly. Then the dude next to her said, "That's why we went in here," and then she replied, "But I didn't think it'd be this packed."

That was it for a while, but then the girl started saying, "Stop, please, that's enough," for quite some time, and I even had the chance to ask myself why she didn't just leave. I even had the chance to answer my own question, because she didn't want to leave. Afterwards I went for it. I called them out. Call me prude or whatever, I am a prude, but I had enough of that kind of stuff happening around me like that. I have to admit, Cleaved Joe was one of the good ones, and I'm glad I payed for all of his stuff, because he had my back from the get go. I turned my head around, to the couple, and said, "Hey man, cut it out, there might be some children in here, even though there shouldn't be, but some parents are irresponsible idiots, besides, we can clearly hear you, and we can also hear that she doesn't like it." That's what I said. In the middle of my speech the dude interrupted me and said, "Mind your own business," in the most aggressive way possible. It was as if I had just killed his mom or something. I kept talking and he got up, so I got up and faced him. I was really done with that kind of stuff happening around me. He grabbed me by the collar, I was not very present. Immediately Cleaved Joe got his arms off of me and said, "Leave Ash alone dude, go get a room or something, it's very indecent." The lecherous dude didn't pull back and we kept arguing. The girl joined in on the argument, after she buttoned her pants I assume, and we made enough noise so that they had to turn the lights on. I guess somebody had snitched on all of us, rightfully. Then they kicked us out. The four of us. And only when we were outside did I notice that the indecent girl behind me had been Aldith the whole time. I felt an awful hole in my stomach, I wanted to puke. I felt so bad I couldn't notice what the lecherous dude was saying to me, he was very angry. Although I could notice he wasn't being nice, at all. Thankfully Cleaved Joe was there to stop the lecherous dude from destroying me. Suddenly I just looked at Aldith, who looked really sad and embarrassed, and said, "Why are you with this guy?" but she said nothing, and instead the dude answered for her. I cant remember what he said, I wasn't listening. I felt really betrayed, I couldn't believe it was her. In hindsight, I told you, I freaking told you. And you probably thought I was a pathetic loser for refusing her; her. Nothing wrong with her, it didn't make her less of a person, but it did make me put things into perspective, and this is what I ended up with, the easier it comes, the more risk it comes with, and that's a fact, an Ash's fact. And I couldn't believe she was not saying anything, she couldn't even look at me, and she didn't want to leave that lecherous dude. While Cleaved Joe was containing him, keeping him away from me, I asked her to get away with us, but she didn't want to do it, and wouldn't tell me why. I really couldn't believe it, but at the same time it was obvious to me that she'd want to stay with that dude. It was very predictable actually, she was nothing more than a cliche. But the thing I couldn't stand, what I couldn't accept, was that I couldn't do anything about it, anything at all. And I couldn't take it. I ran away, everyone had calmed down by then and we were just staring at each other silently, so I left them and Cleaved Joe behind and ran all the way to the hostel, took my stuff and left. And I just got out of there.

But, halfway across the street I felt bad, because I remembered that I hadn't paid for the night I did stay there, and I felt rather dirty just for thinking that. I did go back, I really didn't want Aldith to catch me there though, but I thought she wouldn't get there so fast. Anyway she did. She ran too and she managed to see me coming out. I didn't feel particularly ready to talk to her, so I just looked away and left. And she didn't say anything anyway.


	13. Chapter 13

I had nowhere to go, and only a few hours left before the sun went down again. I went into a pokemart to count my money, I still had a considerable amount, of course it was nothing compared to what I had when I first got off the plane. That seemed like a long time ago even though only a couple of days had passed, anyway, I had enough money for a few more nights on a modest hotel, without food. I didn't care about food at that point anyway. So I went looking for hotels again, for actual hotels, where you could stay the whole night as well as during the day. After like an hour I decided to stay on the one where you could actually see the windows of the rooms from the outside, as opposed to the rest of the hotels which were basically cubes without windows. There was an old lady behind the counter, who did not want to talk to me at all. The lobby was small and kind of cozy, if a bit sad. It was painted of a light green, mint green, maybe, that looked almost gray, and there was a bench there too. I tried to seem friendly and upbeat for once, when I went in, but the old lady didn't even look at me. She was wearing an orange dress and a lot of golden rings on her fingers, and had blonde hair that was almost white. She didn't even look up from the counter, not even when she spoke to me. She gave me my key, then said my room was on the second floor. Nobody was there to help me with my stuff, although I wasn't carrying anything, still nobody was there; I guess it wasn't in their budget. However, when I took my key and left the counter I couldn't find the stairs, neither to my left nor to my right, there seemed to be only walls. I had to go back to ask the old lady about it, and she said the stairs were past a hallway to my left, which I couldn't see because of the angle. Right when she finished telling me this she looked at me for the first time, and I winked at her as I made my way to the stairs, and I bit my lip as I winked at her. I don't know why I did it, I really have no idea. None whatsoever. It was an unconscious reflex. I immediately felt embarrassed, even before I turned and walked away. If that had happened to me like two or three months beforehand, or any time before that, I wouldn't have been able to stop thinking about it, and feeling bad about it, for a month maybe. Maybe for more than that. But as it was then, I just didn't mind it.

My room was pretty small. There was a badly painted chiffonier, a badly painted drawer, a badly painted small table, very small, and there was a badly painted chair too. Also, the room wasn't completely separate from the bathroom, because the wall that separated the two ended just before it connected with the ceiling for some reason. That felt very shameless to me, but it didn't really bother me that much, and they obviously knew the occupants wouldn't care. Once I checked the room, and the toilet, I went back to the store and bought a towel as well as a couple of snacks, which I just stuck in my mouth as if they were some paste, and I also bought a bottle of water. Then I went back to my room, and then I started checking the handle on the door. I didn't trust it, it felt too weak to me, so when I closed the door and locked it I also stuck the chair on it for good measure. Then I extended the towel over the bed. It felt like a bad thing to do, it was a nice towel, but the room gave me the creeps, and the bed was even worse, and that's why I had bought the towel for in the first place. Then I laid on the towel, carefully avoiding the bed sheets, which didn't really look dirty, but definitely felt dirty.

I spent the rest of the day just thinking about that, trying as best as I could to avoid any contaminated surface. It was nice and quiet actually, right until it got dark outside. That's when everyone around started making a bunch of noise, it was really bad. Very loud music and a bunch of people laughing really loud. It seemed like they were waiting for it to get dark outside to start making as much noise as they could. I guess that's how you know someone is that kind of person, when they wait for the time when people are supposed to sleep to make a bunch of noise. And I wanted to sleep, but I knew I wouldn't be able to, and I also knew that there was no point in getting angry for it.

Every once in a while I would hear very loud steps right outside of my room, and at some point I heard two guys with nasal voices talking about a party, also right outside my door. Anyway they left soon enough, and I think I heard them going down the stairs, and I thought that would be it, and I'd be able to sleep, but right then somebody laughed really loud, starting with a very loud chuckle that, frankly, scared me, and only got louder from that. That was it for me, I took the chair away from the door and went downstairs, to maybe follow the guys to the party, or to do something else entirely, because, after the day I'd had, I was actually in a good mood for a change.

But, before I could try to follow after the nasal guys, the man behind the counter stopped me and told me to approach him. The older lady was gone, and now a creepy middle aged guy was attending the counter. He had very big lips that he kept pursed all the time, and had a mole on his right cheek. I'm not sure, but I think he painted it himself. And he had a bandana tied to his forehead. And he smelled weird, not bad, just weird, exotic maybe.

"Hey boy," he said. He had a rather creepy voice, like he tried to sound seductive all the time, but it just unnerved me. "Are you old enough to be here at this hour?"

"Why?" I asked. "What goes on at this hour that one has to be old enough to be here?"

"Alright, alright, take it easy boy, I'm just asking. Didn't mean to push your buttons, it's just that, this isn't just a hotel you know, it's also a store." He was wearing a dark green shirt and a purple vest with psychedelic patterns on it.

"What do you sell here?" I asked. I tried to sound like I wasn't actually interested in his answer, and more like I wanted to check if there would be any trouble because of it.

"We sell all kinds of things," he said. "All kinds of gifts and presents, tools and beverages." Then he reached below the counter and showed me a bottle filled with red liquid of some kind. "Take this for example, you only need to pour it and reach it to someone special, to smell, and they'll be immediately enchanted by you."

"I'm not interested in that, and it doesn't work anyway."

"Yes it does, results guaranteed."

"No way. You can guarantee stuff like that, you're just lying. Do you have other potions that you guarantee do other things? Because you should stop saying that."

"Of course, we have a beverage that guarantees you'll find the love of your life, another that guarantees you'll become very wealthy, an elixir that guarantees you'll become a truly exceptional trainer, exceptional enough to be Unova's own champion, and another one for eternal happiness, which might be of use for you."

"Excuse me?" I said. I was actually angry at him. I didn't know if he was just mocking me or if he actually said that stuff to everyone that ended up in there, and I certainly didn't know which of the two alternatives was the worst one.

"I'm sorry," he said. "That was completely out of line, listen, you seem tense."

Then, right as he said that, a very pretty girl with long black hair and striking gray eyes walked down the stairs.

"Ah Kissy," the creepy guy said. "I'm afraid I have offended our friend here, why don't you offer him our most sincere apologies?"

The girl didn't even say anything, she just looked at me and smiled as she tilted her head. I have to admit, she was really pretty, especially when she smiled at me with those eyes of hers. Then she put her hand around my arm and asked me where my room was. I started walking with her, but I sensed something wasn't right. She had just walked downstairs. I guess now I'm glad I felt that way. And because of that instinct I just took my arm off of her and ran outside, while the creepy guy shouted something really aggressively at me, I think he was telling me to stay there or something. I didn't know what was going on, until I saw an older man get in the lobby. I had run across the street, but I still had a full view of the lobby in front of me because the front doors were fully open. I saw the gray-eyed girl grab the man's arm and take him upstairs. And that's when I understood. Maybe I am dense, but I understood. And so I went to the police, and I told officer Jenny about it, and she said she would check it out. But she didn't really do anything while I was there. While I was there, waiting, I started thinking it had been a bad idea to have gone to the police so impulsively. I did it because I thought that was what you were supposed to do, but then I remembered that nobody really cared about anything ever, so I just left the police station. I really just left.

By that time it was pretty dark and cold outside. I knew exactly where I was, I had run up north all the way to the police station, and ended up in a completely different part of town in the middle of the night. I didn't feel anxious or anything, there was something very soothing about my situation. So after some pondering I just started walking quietly through the streets. I had done it many times before in my short life, I really love walking. I thought I could walk all night, it was all I needed to do in order to keep warm, as I had proven many times before, however, I was wrong this specific time. I guess it was just too cold. I stopped outside of a pokemon center on a corner, mainly because it was very well-lit. Of course I didn't go in, even though I was freezing. I just stood outside, hugging myself, rubbing my arms in an attempt to keep some warm. Then, very suddenly, a tall, very pale man wearing a black cloak walked by me. At first I thought he was walking up to me, because it seemed like he was heading directly towards me, thankfully he just walked past me and went inside a nearby building. I got pretty scared. His face was completely white, he had a lot of piercings on his ears, lips and eyebrows, his lips were painted black, and he had on a lot of black make up on his eyes. It was quite frightening, so much I even forgot I was freezing for a while. For a while after that I remained in shock, full of fright, yet ignorant of the cold, because a group of people, all wearing black hoods, walked by me too, and at first I thought they were a goth gang or something like that, and so I remained scared and nervously warm. Thankfully they ignored me too, and then went into the same building as the first guy. Then I finally managed to calm down continued freezing, but not long after the gang had passed by, a couple of very beautiful girls also walked by and then went into the same building, and then, then I got really curious. The girls seemed like they belonged to a very different social group, like the people before were the goths and they were the popular girls, and I was already kind of curious anyway, but that's what mainly sparked my curiosity, which only increased afterwards. Finally, a mature looking guy, who, although he was kind of old, seemed really cool, with the way he was walking and the fact that he had a leather jacket on, also went into the building, accompanied by a guy wearing clown make up, otherwise dressed normally. And that was it for me. I was freezing, had nowhere to go, nothing to lose, and a lot of time to kill. Of course I went into the building.


	14. Chapter 14

I went through the door and then up the stairs right in front of me, very curious, very excited. I couldn't remember when was the last time I had been that excited, honestly, it was a big deal to me. Sadly, it ended up being a huge disappointment. It was just a party. It seemed like a big party, a huge deal with a lot of people. They even had live rock music playing, and everybody was drinking, and they all seemed like cool people and what not, but it was really just a party, nothing special.

It was warm though, so I stayed. The apartment was pretty big and fancy. It took me quite some time to go through all the rooms, although that might have been because I had to make my way through a sea of people, but it was still pretty big. It was so big and fancy that it had a pool on it. But the vibe in there didn't feel fancy, it didn't feel like the vibe at the Golden Psyduck, for example. It felt different, kind of dirty. The whole place smelled and felt like I was inside a lit cigarette. And the people there seemed like they left a leathery scent behind them whenever they walked. It felt like they were all party animals and they couldn't stop partying, ever. Like they had to smoke a cigarette or drink a beer every once in a while or they'd die, but at least nobody cared I was there. I was still wearing my jacket but I still looked pretty young, still, nobody cared, thankfully. On the living room there was a mr. mime doing tricks with some balls, to the rhythm of the music no less. He was pretty entertaining. His stage which was a red rug on the floor, was located in front of the impromptu stage, where the band was playing. And they had a jynx as a back up singer, and she was also dancing as they played. It was a different kind of spectacle at either side, with all the mainly disinterested people in the middle. I focused on the mr. mime though, his act was actually pretty cool. I stayed there and watched him do tricks until he put a bag over his head and started pouring water on himself. All of the sudden everyone else got interested on him and a lot of people got in front of me, and didn't let me see. I've always been pretty short, I've learned to live with it even though sometimes I can't help but be mad for a while, because of it. Then I went over to the fancy but dirty kitchen and asked for a beer, and they just gave me one. I did it because I thought it would be really easy and uneventful, and it was. Afterwards I walked around the place holding the beer for a while, to see if anybody noticed, but no one did, and then I just left it at a table without drinking it at all. I just wasn't in the mood for it, and likewise, nobody cared. And yes, I've never had alcohol, but that's not the point.

Then I heard somebody shout my name. The music was pretty loud, and even though everyone was pretty calm they were all having very loud conversations, so I just thought I was hallucinating. I genuinely thought my mind was playing a little trick on me, and it seemed pretty normal to me, like it was the logical next step after all that had happened to me; to start hearing voices. But then I heard my name again, and then I realized someone outside of me had to be calling me. I didn't feel very present, so I couldn't really identify anyone there. I could only see a bunch of limbs, smoke and beer bottles, and mouths moving everywhere I looked, while I just kept wondering who was the person that I knew, that knew me, that was at that same party.

Somebody kept shouting my name and I tried not to pay too much attention to it, partly because I didn't want the people there to notice me, but also because whoever was shouting sounded rather angry, and I didn't want to confront them. I still kept searching all around, until finally I was able to notice who was calling me when a hand was raised among the crowd and then headed towards me. It was Roxie, the gym leader from Virbank City, located rather far from Castelia, I think. She still had her hair dyed completely white, and I guess it suited her style better than any other color. She was dressed in shades of black and purple, as always, and was carrying a beer and two lit cigarettes on her left hand effortlessly. Before she reached me she shouted somebody's name, Lamar or something like that, a couple of times, as she seemingly looked for someone else among the crowd. And when she didn't find the guy she was looking for, first she grunted angrily, then she put out one of the cigarettes with her tongue. It was a very cool thing to do, for sure, even if she did it by touching it with the tip of her tongue very fast so as to avoid getting burned. I guess she didn't look all that cool, but at least she managed to put it out.

"Hey, long time no see," she said once she reached me. "What are you doing here?"

"What are you doing here?" I replied. I guess I got really defensive from the get go.

"Oh wow, relax, I'm not going to tell anyone."

"Yeah, because I'm so worried about it, because I'm still ten. Nobody knows I'm here anyway."

"Well then don't worry about it, because I'm definitely not telling anyone. Wait, are you still ten?"

"No. What is going on here that's so bad?"

"Oh, I guess nothing really. Just the usual stuff. Booze, smoke, drugs, people having sex and cursing every second."

"Oh, okay."

"I'm kind of tired of it actually, at least right now."

"Yeah, me too, even though I just got here."

"Cool, should we go somewhere else?."

"Yeah... sure."

"Cool, follow me."

She moved her head and lifted her shoulder, it looked like a scene from a movie. Then we started making our way through the crowd.

"Do you want a beer?" She asked once we were by the kitchen.

"No thanks, I just had one."

"Why are we here then?"

She seemed suddenly angry. She left her beer half finished on a table, then put out her cigarette on an ashtray, then grabbed another beer, and we walked away in the opposite direction. It was too loud in there to have a real conversation. We tried going into a room, but it was locked. Next we looked for a place outside the apartment, but the hallway was also full of people, so we went for the elevator, pressed the button, and waited. The building had many floors, I don't know how many, so it took some time for the doors to open. But it wasn't awkward, or at least I thought it wasn't awkward at all, even though neither of us was talking. I was actually enjoying the moment quite a bit, and sort of wished the doors never opened. But they did, and we went in just the two of us. Then Roxie pressed the button to take us to the last floor, and then we went up the stairs to the roof. However, once we got there we found out there were a bunch of people in there too, and they all looked the same as the people at the party, with beers and cigars and their conversation poses. By then Roxie was getting visibly mad. She grabbed my hand and took us to the fire escape at the side of the building, and guess what, there were people on it already. We had to go down three sets of metal stairs, making a bunch of clanking noises in the process, bothering some guys talking about another party, and a couple making out, but in the end we found a nice spot to sit down and relax, away from the crowd. Roxie opened her beer with her hand, very meticulously, and then took a big sip from it.

"Had any good matches lately?" she asked.

I stared at her with my lips pursed for a few seconds, then I said, "Yeah. I had a match with my friend Trip a few days ago. It was quick and intense, and smashing. I lost that one. I also had a match with a short girl and her machoke, near the park. I wiped the floor with them." 

"That's what's up," Roxie said.

"Say, do you know of any place to stay around here?" I asked.

She looked at me very weird.

"Well what do you know. Ash Ketchum, look at you."

I hate it when people say that, as much as when they say stuff like, 'who would have guessed it from you?' Honestly, who cares.

"That is your last name right?" Roxie said afterwards.

"Yeah."

"Okay good, I was afraid I'd messed it up. I may know a place or two, why is it that you ask?"

"I need a place to sleep."

"Are you shameless enough to say that you want a place to sleep? To sleep, really?"

"I guess so, I'm kind of tired."

"Oh, now you're tired. Okay. Well, do you really not have a place around? Because in that case we can just wait until everyone leaves. I know it may not sound very appealing, but I promise you most of them will leave eventually and things will calm down. When the door of the bedroom gets unlocked I'll get in and kick them out of there. Gerry, who owns the place, he's a friend of mine. I'm staying here actually."

"Well I have nowhere really. I was staying at this hotel, but to be honest with you I'd rather not go back there, so I guess I'm homeless at the moment. I guess if you think about it I've been homeless for a good part of my life."

"Wait, so you actually just need a place to stay?"

"Yeah."

"Oh wow… well, I guess you can stay with my friend."

"Really? I wouldn't want to impose."

"Please, don't worry about it, she has plenty of room in her apartment and it's relatively close. I mean, if I had a place in Castelia I'd take you there myself right now."

"Thanks, I know you mean it."

"I definitely do, I was actually kind of sending you some vibes right about now."

"What kind of vibes?"

"Any kind you want." She lifted her eyebrows and blinked a few times. It was quite funny. But also, I understood what she meant by that.

"I'm sorry, I'm particularly bad with vibes of all kinds."

"Yes, I heard."

"Well, huh… if I had a place of my own, here on Castelia, I would have taken you there as well."

"Would you?"

"Indeed."

"Ugh, don't say that."

"I'm sorry, having conversations of this kind isn't my forte."

"And how are you with making out?"

"Huh, pretty good. Pretty good, maybe. Yeah, pretty good."

Then Roxie just looked at me, with a tired expression on her face. Then she made her back straight and pushed her chest forward. Then she didn't move at all, she just stood there waiting, for me to do something. I got very close to her, our shoulders touched. We both had our backs against the wall of the building, and were facing the street, with the actual street well below us, but we were looking at each other. She was just staring at me, with her head turned to me, kind of serious but kind of joking, obviously mocking me, daring me to get closer. Well, I did, only, she moved her head backwards and then let out a laugh while keeping a straight face. I got mad at her. I thought about putting my hand on her thigh to get in a better position, so she couldn't keep mocking me. I looked at her again, she was still staring at me, stone faced. So I just went for another try at a kiss, but she moved her head further away from me. Then she laughed again. That was it for me. I got on my knees, very aggressively, got in front of her, moved my arm around her and put my hand on the ground, on the stairs I guess, without touching her, and then went for the kiss. Roxie moved her head backwards again, however, she hit the back of her head on the wall behind her. It sounded quite loud, it was quite funny, and I thought she deserved it. She closed her eyes and screamed, with her hand on the back of her head. I got out of my small celebratory fit and grabbed her shoulders, and asked her if she was okay. She said she was fine with her eyes still closed, and right when she said it I kissed her, and I didn't stop, and she didn't stop me. Not only did she not stop me but she got really into it, a lot more than me at first. Then she grabbed me by the collar whilst her lips touched mine, I'm not sure if we were still kissing, and then pulled me down, dragging the two of us to the ground, to the stairs I guess, and I ended up on top of her, and we started fully making out. While positioning ourselves better we made a bunch of noise, our feet and our knees clashed with the metal all around us, and the people above us could see everything. But we didn't care. I had my hands on her sides and she had her arms around my neck. I couldn't move away, and I knew she wouldn't let me. She was actually kind of rough, but I didn't care. We ate each others' mouths, she practically cleaned my teeth, but during that moment all I could think of was that I was addicted to it, to her tongue and to her lips and to her in general. After some time I needed to take a pause, but it was only a pause, because I knew I wanted more, and I kind of didn't want to pause because a part of me thought that if I let go for a second she would want to stop, so I waited for quite a long time to pause, and kept kissing her, my whole mouth was almost inside of hers at one point, and that happened for as long as I could keep going. When I finally let go of her we had a moment where we looked into each others' eyes, and while I was looking at her I was moving my hands all over her belly. And while I was moving my hand I kept looking at her to see her reaction. I really couldn't tell, I was very nervous, and she probably wanted me to touch her right away, but I guess I was so nervous I couldn't be sure. She wasn't giving me anything, or maybe I was just too dense to notice, I was very dense, so I just moved my hand all the way to her chest while never breaking eye contact with her, just to be sure. Her blue eyes were very pretty. When I reached her breast and fully caressed her she closed her eyes, and I kissed her again, and she kissed me back. I took that as a sign and started fondling her with both of my hands, over her shirt. She raised a bit, while I was still kissing and fondling her, and very skillfully took off her bra without taking off her shirt. I kept fondling her over the shirt, even then, I wasn't dense enough to uncover her at that time and place, and I knew she didn't want me to.

I don't know how much time we spent there, probably a couple of hours. At some point I sat down and put my back against the wall, and Roxie put her legs around me and we continued making out hard, but we didn't do any more than that. I didn't let her unbutton my pants. At some point she started moaning just like the lady on the subway, and Aldith at the movie theater. I felt sort of weird about that, but I definitely didn't stop. When she stopped moaning she also stopped kissing me and gave me this look like she wanted to cry. I knew she didn't want to cry or anything like that, that's just how she looked. I still remember that face and such, and I think I will always remember it, but at that point I wasn't in the mood anymore.


	15. Chapter 15

We stayed there for a while after that. Roxie kept her arms around my neck, she also rested her head on my shoulder. Every once in a while she'd raise and kiss me and then she'd rest her head on my shoulder again. I can't quite explain it, even then I felt very tired and kind of sad, but I would let her kiss me all she wanted, and I didn't want to let go of her either.

"What's wrong, do you want to go to sleep?" she asked.

"No, I can stay a bit longer if you want," I said.

Then she looked at me and said nothing. I went for a kiss, and once again she moved backwards, but that time it felt different for some reason.

"What?" I said.

"Nothing," she replied. Then we kissed again, for a while actually. She stuck her tongue in my mouth, and for a while it seemed like she was trying to push my own tongue inside my throat. Then she stopped entirely and smacked my shoulders with her hands before taking a very satisfied sigh. 

Roxie looked up, and then I looked up too. Two dudes were looking down at us from the set of stairs right above ours, mocking us with their eyes and smiles, which didn't really seem judgmental, but instead knowingly entertained, almost proud of having witnessed that which wasn't a big deal. Roxie lowered her head, obviously trying to ignore them, and, as she stared at me, pretty much with her gaze lost, and with a tired expression on her face, she raised her hand and gave the two dudes the middle finger; mind you, without looking at them. Therefore it was very awkward when we got up and went back to the roof. The fire escape seemed like a zone where you could feel the embarrassment in the air, even after we were away from it, it still seemed like that. Crossing through that, through those dudes and a couple older than us, was very difficult. Before we decided to go through that embarrassment, Roxie gave me the address of her friend's house, and I knew then that I'd probably have enough courage to help me and not enough shame to stop me from going there. Roxie and I went back to the party, she wasn't holding my hand anymore so I got separated from her pretty quickly.

It took me a while to find her again, I looked everywhere around me and all I could think of was that all the people there knew exactly what I had been doing with her, all of them. It was impossible that they knew, and it was less possible that any of them cared to talk about it. Roxie was a gym leader, sure, but I'm pretty sure the people there didn't care a lot about that. And yet I was very nervous, and I couldn't look at anyone in the eye. When I found her again she was sitting on a large couch, right in the middle of it. She was once again holding a cigarette, talking as if I hadn't been fondling her, for a long time, just moments ago. I went to her, and stayed pretty much right in front of her, and not once did she bother to look at me. She was very busy talking with the two girls at either side of her. There was also another guy sitting on the edge the couch, with the three of them, also very invested in their conversation. Roxie did turn left and right to look at them as they talked. All I wanted was for her to look at me, but she never did, and I didn't have the guts to walk in front of them and try to become a part of the conversation. All I did for quite a while was just stand there, looking at her being busy with something else, thinking about her looking at me, and about her saving me, and hoping really hard that she would do either. I left the party after some time. I took the stairs. While I walked down, I kept thinking about her body right next to mine, and how she had let me do whatever I wanted with her. I tried to do with her as much as I could, for as long as I could, and I actually touched her until I got too tired or sad to continue, and even then she continued with me for a long while. Even so, I still felt like it wasn't enough, and thinking about that made it very hard for me to keep moving. I suddenly felt very heavy, I really couldn't move. I only had one set of stairs to go through by then, but I dragged myself to the elevator instead. If I hadn't done that, I'd probably still be there right now.

It was pretty dark out, and there was some faint rain, but not enough to get you wet, even if you stood in the middle of the street for a long time. It was that faint. At that point of the night only the seediest places and the 24 hour stores were open. Even then there were some kids out, like a girl with her mom waiting right beneath the light at a bus stop, and a pair of kids playing with a munna outside a pharmacy. It was a rough scene, you could see some ladies of the night around. And you could tell that they were problems because they'd touch their bellies if you locked eyes with them. I tried to get near the girl with her mom, I think I stared at them for way too long, because another woman walking with yet another woman, holding her hand very firmly, shot me a very stern look, like she thought I wanted to kidnap the girl, when in reality I just wanted to protect them. I tried to get near the two boys too, and I even patted the munna's head once, but it was obvious that they didn't want me around, so I just left. Stuff like that, kids and regular women walking on the streets downtown at night, only really happened in Castelia City. But even regardless of how common that was, even there, if you made one wrong move on a slightly wrong place, you were done. Sometimes, even if you avoided the creepiest and most dangerous streets and corners you were done. I guess, because of the jacket that I was wearing, I looked more like a perpetrator than a would be victim, but that still didn't help me. I didn't notice when they started following me, and I don't know how much time passed before I noticed, but at some point a group of thugs started walking right behind me. There were some teenagers around too, one of them blew cigar smoke right in my face as I walked by her, and another one looked very weirdly at me, like he knew I was about to become toast. The thugs didn't mind that the streets weren't empty, and nobody cared, in fact everyone, even me, even then, knew that they'd assault me soon and nobody would care or do anything about it. I got very nervous and very scared very quickly. I didn't run, I tried not to move differently even though I felt much more scared then. I felt as if I had knives about to pierce through my back at all times while they were behind me, and I didn't dare to look back. One of them threw a rock at me and hit me in the back of the head. It sounded like it had hit another rock, which made perfect sense to me even then. All of the sudden one of them grabbed me from behind and lifted me off the ground, and took me to an alleyway. He and the others started shouting things at me to scare me and it worked, probably better than they expected. I never realized how many of them were there, or how they looked. I only identified some beards, black pants and some white shirts or sweaters, and the smell of cigarettes, but nothing else. What happened that night didn't really hit me until a few days later. From the moment the guy put his arms around me and took me to the alleyway I felt like somebody had scared me, but that first reaction, when you feel like your heart stops and your mind breaks, it lasted until after they left. It felt almost as painful as their hits. Almost. They didn't even take my money. They didn't take anything from me. They just dropped me on the damp ground, next to a few trash cans, and started kicking me a lot. They got me pretty much everywhere. I tried to cover my face with my arms, and my stomach with my legs, but they still got my mouth and probably broke my nose. I'm pretty sure they broke my nose, it felt extra flexible after the fact, and of course it hurt a lot, but anyway, at some point I was able to ignore that easily so that's why I'm not completely sure. They stopped for a moment, but kept giving me single kicks periodically. Even then I knew they wanted me to react in some way, to tell them to cut it out or something, and I knew that if I did or said anything they'd start kicking me again, just for the hell of it. That's why they were doing it. I didn't look at them once, instead I kept looking at the street, hoping that someone would see it and do something about it, anything. I really wished somebody had done anything to stop them, that's all I thought about during that moment. I wish I had been there, on the street, if you know what I mean, not Ash but Ash. I wish Ash had been there for me. But they just kept hurting me. They did stop after some time, then I sat down, and one of them kicked me really hard on the hip. I was crying, and they kept taunting me, but I didn't look at them.

They started leaving, I was half conscious, the pain was really bad, and it made me very angry. Still, I'm pretty resilient. I was sure that whatever they did to me, as long as they didn't actually kill me, would be nothing compared to the beatings I'd gotten during my travels, we're talking fire, electricity, steel and heavyweight muscle. So, even after I had become a washed out drifter I could take a lot of damage; I was still a dumb kid who could take a punch or two—more specifically, a bunch of ruthless kicks directed at every corner of my body. So, with the knowledge I had of myself, it didn't surprise me, and of course that it didn't stop me, when I stood up, something inside me hurt really bad, and then I said to them, I said: "You'll see, you think you can do whatever you want! You think you can take advantage of the weak, don't you?" Then I literally put my hand in my pocket, and then remembered that I didn't have any pokemon with me. They came back and knocked me down. One of them put his foot on the back of my head, with a lot of pressure. Then, I'm not lying to you, they peed on me. I could hear multiple streams hitting the back of my jacket. That lasted for way too long. One has to wonder how they could carry so much pee within them, and how they could have it ready so quickly. Then it was over, they kicked me some more, then they left.

I was alone in an alleyway, in the middle of the night, on top of wet garbage, covered in pee from a variety of faceless thugs, cowards. I stood just like that for way too long, I knew I needed to take my jacket off. But when I did it, and it was quite difficult, I discovered that it hadn't served at all to protect me, and my shirt was drenched in pee too. I sat down again, all I could smell was the pee and the garbage. I still remember that smell very well, I hate it. I tried to inspect my body as best as I could in the middle of the night, and realized that the only place where I was bleeding from was the nose, and it wasn't even a lot of it. I kind of hated them for that, for not being able to make me bleed more, for failing to beat me up correctly.

I couldn't really move, but I didn't really want to. At some point I stopped smelling the garbage and the blood, and then I couldn't smell anything. I also couldn't hear much. But the pain stayed the same, and I could feel it very well. I remember that. It made me very angry. I liked feeling like that, and I think I still like feeling like that, to this day. I guess I'm very glad they didn't make me hate feeling like that. I think it's one of the things that helped me and motivated me throughout the years, feeling like that. Feeling angry and wanting to get them back. I think that when I was young I welcomed people to step on me, to try and get to me or attack me or steal from me and such, just so I had the chance, the rightful chance, to get them back. I felt the same way when somebody hurt my pokemon, even if it was during an official match. I would get really enthusiastic when my pokemon endured an attack and were ready to retaliate. It was the good kind of anger, I think, and I didn't even get mad if they defeated me, or if I didn't get the chance to get them back. Because at least it was fair. I would never get angry if it was fair. I think what I hate the most is when people aren't fair in a fight, so I was really angry then. I think what I like the most is a fair fight. But nobody fights fair anymore, they don't care because they don't have to, and it doesn't matter anyway. Seriously, it doesn't matter, and it sucks. And some people know it sucks, and they might try and do something about it, try and solve things. But that cannot be solved. The best thing you can do is to take it easy, enjoy a fair fight if you find one, and hope that no one attacks you from behind and then pees on you.

I knew I needed to get out of there at some point. It was cold and I was decidedly messed up. But I didn't really want to see anybody at that point, and I definitely didn't want anybody to see me. The only reason I ended up getting up was that I didn't want it to get too bright out so that less people would notice me all messed up and stinky. I wanted to spare them from such an unpleasant and worrying view. But I didn't have anywhere to go, so, after a lot of time I spent just deliberating on the street, urine-soaked, I ended up going to the apartment of Roxie's friend, albeit only when I was left with absolutely no other option. The walk to her apartment felt pretty heroic, I have to say, because I was struggling simply to move, because of the pain, and that by itself felt pretty good, because I was still choosing to move, however, I was even prouder because I was able to read Roxie's note, which contained the address, even though the paper was almost a yellow paste after the attack, and, perhaps most importantly, because my huntail silly straw remained unscathed.

The apartment of Roxie's friend turned out to be in a very fancy building, with a very well-dressed doorman, with a hat and tie and a long black coat, standing firmly outside of it. I knew he'd never let me in like that, all messed up. During that moment though, all I wanted was to get in, just for fun. Just to prove I could. I got really into it. I thought about a lot of ways to get through the doorman and break into the apartment. I thought about maybe distracting him, telling him that there was a gang of thugs peeing on people around, but I thought he'd smell me as soon as I got close to him. I also thought about jumping from one building to another, or, an easier method, just use the fire escape, but then I remembered that I didn't know my way around the building, and the rest of my plans weren't better. While I was thinking about this, having a blast by the way, the doorman saw me, and he called me. I was just standing on the sidewalk across the street, and he suddenly approached me and asked me if I was Ash. I said "Who's asking?" Because I was quite startled, but he just told me that Elesa was waiting for me. That's right, Elesa the model. She was Roxie's friend. At some point I thought she was my friend too, because I got to hang out with her, when I challenged her gym on Nimbasa, but then some time after that I tried to get tickets for a fashion show for me and my friend Serena, and Elesa said she didn't remember me. But I didn't care by that point, when I was all beat up, because, well, I was all beat up, and more importantly, it was my understanding that the gym leaders were supposed to help trainers, with whatever they needed. And even though I wasn't a trainer at that point I still viewed myself as one, because it was convenient to me, so I didn't have enough shame to stop me from going there.

She was actually very nice, I'm happy to say. She was way too nice to me actually, way too nice. And I just want to point that out, I'm not complaining or anything. Once the doorman took a good look at me he got extremely worried and called Elesa. She came down and called me by my name. She shouted it actually, and even though I was so messed up I still enjoyed hearing that. Even though I was very dirty and probably stank a lot, she made the doorman take me to her apartment, and she also called a doctor for me. They made me tell them all about what happened, and I decided to omit the fact that I had taunted the thugs as they were leaving, but only because I didn't want them to think I was that dumb, although I don't actually regret having done such a stupid yet brave thing, I think.

There were two other very nice ladies on the apartment, who wore loose kimonos and had their hair tied into braided ponytails. They were very nice to me even in my state, and even though they were most likely models, who probably hadn't had to smell anything decisively bad in a long time, they treated me with a lot of care. The doorman was also very cool, he helped me change into some clothes that Elesa got for me, even though any of the other girls could've helped me, but I understand why they didn't, and I couldn't really be mad or anything. Then the doctor got there and checked me up. He said I might have had a concussion and some internal injuries, but overall it seemed I would be alright and didn't have a broken bone, except for my nose, and maybe a couple of lacerations, but overall it was not a big deal. He pressed my tummy a few times, in different ways, but it didn't hurt the way he was looking for, which seemed like it was a good thing. He still said that I should go to the hospital and get a scan, but I said I was fine. And I felt mostly fine by then. It still hurt though, but I didn't really want to leave that place. He persisted, but then Elesa said it would be a torture to go out like that right at that moment, so the doctor let that go, although he still told me to get my body checked as soon as possible. I didn't do it, but it all turned out alright regardless, I think. Well, at least that thing did.


	16. Chapter 16

The doctor and the doorman left, and then I was left alone with the three models. And even though I was all beat up and therefore barely conscious I got really nervous, but at least I got the good kind of nervousness, I think. One of the models was named Shani, and the other one was named Olive. Olive gave me a big glass of milk for me to drink, and waited right in front of me until I finished it. Then she and Shani helped me get to the bathroom, where Elesa had prepared a very warm bath for me. I put my hands on their shoulders and they carried me all the way to the tub. They didn't actually have to, I could basically walk normally, and they kept calling me stuff like baby or sweetie throughout. I only let that pass because they were very nice to me. I usually hate it when people call me derogatory names and such, I take it as an insult. They sure love to call me that, but they definitely don't treat me accordingly. If you're going to call me a baby at least feed me right on the mouth or let me use diapers, or at least carry me to the bathroom, like Shani and Olive did. Or make me a warm bath, like Elesa did. The three of them were a lot taller than me, I must say. So I guess that's another reason why they belittled me, but at least they treated me accordingly. They even let the freaking door of the bathroom open, but I didn't mind.

I guess if I had been a girl and they all had been boys the situation wouldn't have been as okay as it was in our case. Not that there was anything wrong with the situation as it was. I wasn't a kid, and they weren't really that much older than me, in fact I'm pretty sure Shani was even younger than I was. But honestly, I think double standards exist for a reason, or at least, because of a reasonable cause. You should've seen my friend Brock, even if his heart was in the right place, when he chased after girls and was punished for it, I always felt, maybe unconsciously, that he was getting what he deserved, an ear pull or something mild like that, even if I wasn't completely aware that it was happening around me, because I was a kid. And it's not that women don't chase men, but it just seems to me like it is obviously different. Men chase women all of the time, no matter what. Honestly, one time when I was in Konikoni City, on the region of Alola, I had the chance to help Officer Jenny with an investigation she was conducting, on this guy who was stealing malasadas from trainers. We caught the guy, it turned out he was giving them to a legless corsola that was living on a cave by the beach. But during the investigation I was able to take a peek into the police records, without anyone seeing me of course. I had the chance to look at everything my curious ass wanted, but now I kind of regret it. Of course I went for the homicides. When you realize just how many husbands or boyfriends or stalkers or partners, or whatever those men call themselves, how many of them kill their women, you understand perfectly well why there are double standards. And the reasons for why they do it are just as sad. It can be because she didn't want to go on a date, because the dinner tasted bad, or because she didn't let the guy date her preteen daughter. Women killed men too, a lot less, and the reasons for it were, let's just say, a tiny bit more reasonable. Along the lines of, he was about to kill me, and such.

Anyway, Elesa and her friends were very nice to me. Wait, also, if I had been a girl and they had been boys, it wouldn't have been problematic if they all had been young, attractive, nice and caring male models. Nobody would've complained about it. I'll tell you who wouldn't have complained or cried about double standards at that point, Ashina, or whatever my female counterpart would be called in this scenario. It doesn't have to be something bad, why do people have to make everything so freaking complicated? Is what I thought about when Elesa helped me take off my shirt and then helped me get in the tub. I had a few bruises and had trouble moving, so she stayed with me and helped me clean up, very delicately. I had shorts on, and the tub was covered in foam, so it was okay when she rubbed my injuries. At some point I stopped hearing Shani and Olive's laughter on the living room and I assumed they'd gone out, so it was just me and Elesa. I have to admit, it was a pretty nice moment, a highlight of my life, totally worth it getting beat up. Maybe. Anyway, It was very warm, and quiet, and very soothing, and the water felt nice, and all I could think of was that I wished I could stay in there forever. I really wish I could've.

I fell asleep while in the tub, and when I woke up I was sucking on my thumb. Elesa was looking right at me, it seemed like she had gone out of the bathroon at some point, and then she went in to grab something, and that's when I woke up, and she saw me. I got really embarrassed. I thought she would make fun of me, but she didn't. She did laugh, but it just felt like a very nice and natural laugh. Then she went over to me, knelt down to my side, and asked me how I was while she patted my head. I said I was great and thanked her for being so nice. She told me it was no problem, and that I could stay for as long as I wanted and do whatever I wanted. Then she told me she'd left some clean clothes and a towel for me, and that I could come out whenever I wanted to.

When I got out of the tub I was all wrinkly and sticky. I did take a quick shower before putting on clothes, but all I kept thinking during that moment was that I didn't want to get out of there, and I definitely didn't want to take a shower. But I did. And I did it just for you, for all of you I mean. I'm sure the last thing you would want to see is a guy soaking wet, half-covered in sticky white foam, while you are walking down the street. That's what I wanted to do next, the way I wanted to be in the future, but whatever. So I rinsed myself and then I dried myself and just then I put on the cool jeans with ripped holes right on the knees—I don't know what those are called—and a black shirt, very tight, although I think that was the style, with tiny white dots all over. I was free-balling it, as the cool kids say or said at some point, but the inside of the jeans, at least where the front and back pockets were, had a very soft material that made it really easy for me to walk. I even enjoyed walking in those jeans. I certainly enjoyed it more than when wearing regular trousers. And I don't know if Elesa was expecting me to wear them without trousers, but I did it. She also left me a black pair of moccasins which were very fancy and such, but they were also very comfortable, somehow. However they were also very noisy, exactly like if I'd been wearing high heels. While I walked in those I kept thinking about the sort of schmuck who'd buy those shoes just because they made that noise, hoping to attract more attention to themselves. I hate people like that just like I hated the clinking noise those shoes made. Elesa also left me a white scarf and a gray hat of the most snobbish kind, but I just left those on the couch.

Anyway, during that moment I remembered that I should've been very angry, because I was still in quite a bit of pain. There was a big moment where all I could think of was of ways to get them back. I thought of that moment when I put my hand on my pocket and found nothing, and I let it pass. And then the thugs came back and finished destroying me. The key difference between fantasy and reality was that in the former the moment continued, the thugs walked away from me, and only when they were almost gone I realized that I had my pokemon on my other pocket. I know it's weird, but since I stopped training I took up making up scenarios where I didn't stop, in my mind, where I pull my pokemon out and save my honour. And it's actually quite fun, maybe not as much as the real thing, but actually fun, nonetheless. I'm especially thorough with my fantasizing if someone insults me or beats me up, so, in this particular imaginatory spot I decided to use my bulbasaur and my totodile for some reason. The thugs were walking away, they thought they were going to get away with it, but they were wrong, very wrong. I pulled both of my pokemon out, the two of them came out with an aching hunger for justice, showcased by the resolute look on their eyes. They'd help me back up, then I would shout at the thugs once more, and then it was the three of us against however many of them were there, and Bulbasaur and Totodile were ready to avenge me. And the group of thugs would be standing in front of us, blocking the alleyway, almost completely shrouded in darkness, but with their eyes shining red. And even though I couldn't see their faces I could tell they had perverted smirks on them, and this time they were also carrying weapons, mainly wooden sticks. Then I would look at Bulbasaur to my right and ask him if he was ready, and he'd nod very seriously and decisively. Then there was a moment of tense silence, where I looked at my totodile and asked him too, if he was ready, and he nodded very decisively too, but he did so in a more playful and cheerful manner, because that's just how he was. And just then the gang of thugs would come out to get us, very fast, ready to pulverize us. First my bulbasaur used his vine whip to disarm all of them. Then, Totodile used hydro pump and took them all down, and then, wet and weaponless, they lost their cool. Then they looked at each other and realized that it was now a fair fight, and then they got scared. Still, they'd go after us, and then the real battle would start. My pokemon tackled some of them to the ground, and some of them went for me, but Totodile stopped them with his water gun, and then Bulbasaur neutralized them with his razor leaf. However, two of them still managed to get to me, and I was able to get in a few hits myself. Then one of the thugs would very dastardly kick Bulbasaur in the face, and a group of them would be able to contain Totodile. Then the other two, the ones that had gone to get me personally, grabbed me by the arms, because even though it was a fantasy I wanted to make it exciting. Then it would be revealed that May was waiting for me on the street, and she'd shout at me to be careful, and to not let them hurt us. Then the thugs would notice her, and then they'd go after her, and we couldn't do anything. But before they could touch her, Totodile bit a thug's arm, and then Bulbasaur would strike the two dudes holding me back with his vine whip, and then I'd go stop them from hurting May, and Totodile would clear my path from the rest of the thugs with a hydro pump. Then I pushed them down and they stayed down, and Bulbasaur and Totodile would end the fight with a fulminating vine whip and hydro pump, respectively. Of all the fantasies I've dreamed of, that's the one I wish had really happened the most.

I could hear the noise from the traffic outside, and some of the light from the sun managed to pass through the heavy black curtains. At that point I felt pretty good and quite energized, even though it hurt when I walked, and also when I breathed a little bit. But I kind of wanted to see people and life so I went for it. I hid my dirty shorts behind the toilet, I didn't know where the rest of my clothes were although I didn't really care, and I told the doorman outside, whose name was something like Breegadoon—at least it sounded just like that, he was a nice guy—anyway I told him that I'd pop out a little bit to go to the store, and then, what I did was, I just went to the store. To the pokemart I mean.

Right when I went in I remembered I didn't have any money, and by then I was actually quite hungry. I still went in, and spent some time around the aisles, avoiding the workers and thinking about grabbing a yogurt and drinking it right there as I walked, like shameless people did. But in the end I decided against it. I guess I wasn't that hungry. I did go for the free samples pretty hard, but they all sucked. There was a lady with these very dry crackers, which she said all had different flavors. I tasted all of them, and swallowed them just because she was looking at me, but they all tasted the same—bad—and they were dry as hell. There was also a girl my age with a tray of juices. I tasted all of them and kept trying to ask her out on a date while I did it, but she said no. Then, after she said no, well after she said no, she told me she had a boyfriend. But at first she straight up told me: no. The juices all tasted bitter, they were supposed to be all natural and super healthy and what not, but they left an awful taste in my mouth. There was also this older guy who had all of these seeds and grains on a platter. I didn't go near him. I stayed there for a while, the atmosphere was actually quite nice. All of these people moving and choosing what to buy, and me just standing there and staring at them. It was actually quite nice.

Then I went outside, and that's when I found the chansey standing right outside of the store. It was actually a guy dressed as a chansey, and there was a round hole right on the middle of the chansey's chest, right above the foam pouch for the egg, where you could see his face. It kind of ruined the effect because the rest of the costume was very accurate and of very high quality. But I guess it's nice that the guy had a good hole to breath out of, and also to look out of. He had a little mustache and seemed pissed. He wasn't too young but not too old either. He was holding a tray that had a bunch of candy bars of a brand I used to eat all the time, but they were of a new flavor, white chocolate. He was also holding a sign that said: 'If you're a kid, grab one' which I thought was discriminatory against everyone who wasn't a kid. I lamented that I was wearing those corny clothes, because with them I definitely didn't look like a kid, nor a trainer. If I looked like a trainer, no matter how old, I would have gotten away with it. I'm sure of it. Anyway I still went over and grabbed a bar.

I didn't look at him. I just went over and took a candy bar without making eye contact. Honestly, I was pretty excited when I found out they were making casteliacone candy bars, so add that to being pretty hungry as the reason why I didn't care that he had a sign that said they were just for kids. So I didn't look at him when I grabbed a bar, but then I lifted it from the tray, and then I paused, and as I held the bar on my hand, I had to look at him. I did it in a very petty way, with my eyes full of shame. I couldn't not look at him. He was staring at me with his mustache and his eyes looking tired and kind of angry. And he just said, "Excuse me sir, those are just for kids."

"I am a kid."

"I'm sorry?"

"Yeah, I know you are, so what?" I said. I was only partially messing with him.

"You're not a kid."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I can see you, sir."

"I'm not sure you can, because if you were actually looking at me, you'd notice that I'm just a kid, sir. I'm still a kid, a little bit, sir."

"No you're not," he said. He got on my nerves pretty quickly.

"Yes I am, I don't look like a kid, because I've traveled a lot and I've been in the sun a lot, but I am very young. I'm only sixteen actually, sir."

"Well there you go, sir. Sixteen, you're officially not a kid anymore."

"Ah, officially you say. I'm officially not a kid," I said, with an extremely condescending tone.

"Indeed," the bastard answered.

"Really? Is there somewhere I can call then, to make my official status as 'not a kid anymore' official?"

"Yeah," he said. "You can call five, five, five, get out of here, these aren't for you, nine, three, four, four, eight, beat it, nine, nine, nine."

"Okay great," I said. "Let me call right now." Then I put my left hand up to my ear, and fashioned it into a phone with my little finger and my thumb. "Excuse me, is this The Stuck Up Idiots who Love to Ruin Things for Other People's Association? Yeah? Well I have one of your employees in front of me right now. A dude dressed in a chansey costume? Aha, no, no, I just wanted to compliment you and tell you how good he's at his job. He's acting very stuck up right now, you have trained him well. Too well, I might say, anyway, congrats. Oh, by the way, I'm taking two bars and this guy's not going to be able to stop me."

Then I mimed hanging up the hand-phone on his tray and made a loud sound with my fist. And then I took another casteliacone bar.

"Excuse me sir, you can't have another one," the guy said. He was getting quite angry. "In fact, you can't even have one."

"But the sign says that if I am a kid I should grab one."

"But you're not a kid."

"Yes I am."

"Dude, why are you doing this? You should've just said you're a kid at heart like the rest of the shameless idiots and then just leave."

"That would've been too easy. Kids like me don't just stand quietly when facing an injustice. I deserve a casteliacone bar, I've been a fan of the company for many years now, probably since before you were even alive."

"That would mean you're not a kid, dumbass."

"Shut up! I have been consuming casteliacones for a long while now, and I'm hungry, so I'm taking these with me. I'm taking three of them actually!"

"Dude, I dare you to take another one. I dare you bro."

"Oh, he's daring me now. You're seriously daring me to do it, do you know who I am? First you belittle me, you call me a dumb stupid kid, without realizing that I finished in the top 8 of your own Unova League while I was just a kid."

"No I didn't, I did the opposite of that. I said you're not a kid."

"And now you're calling me a liar."

"Well, yeah."

"Well now I have to take another one, and now I want an apology too."

"I'll never apologize, dude, why are you doing this? Did you come here just to bother me right now? I'm just doing my job."

"Yeah? Then you're pretty bad at it, you shouldn't bother kids. You should be helpful to kids, and let them have all the casteliacone bars they want."

"I'll let kids have them but you're not a kid."

"Tell me I'm not a kid one more time guy, seriously, see what happens!"

"You're not a kid."

And so that set me off, I grabbed another bar. He tried to stop me but he couldn't. Then when I had the three of them he tried to kick me a little bit, because he had to use both of his hands to hold on to the tray, but I backed away a little bit so he couldn't reach me with his leg. I put one bar in my pocket and then opened the other two and started eating them in front of him. I'd take a bite from one and then another bite from the other one, and I'd audibly savor them as I looked at him. He was so done with me, and I was also very angry at him. Even though I was so angry I could tell I was being really annoying and that the best thing I could do to salvage anything at that moment was to just leave, but I just couldn't. I had to stay there, annoying that guy. I had to.

"What are you gonna do, huh? I'm Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town, and I'm just a kid," I said. And then I continued eating the bars.

"Dude, you got the bars, just get out of here before I beat you up."

"Say I'm a kid first."

"No, I'll never say it, just leave."

"Say it and I'll leave."

"Never."

"Okay then."

I went for another bar and he slapped my hand away very quickly, managing to hold on to the tray afterwards. He was very quick and agile, I have to say. That was a sign. I should've stopped bothering him, but I didn't.

"Don't touch the bars man," he said.

I touched them. I didn't even want to grab another one.

"Don't touch them!" He said again. "I'll beat you up guy, right here, right now."

I pushed him. He was very soft. "No you won't," I said.

"Do that again," he told me. So I did it. I pushed him again. That's when he dropped the whole freaking tray on the ground and pushed me back. I put the chocolates into my mouth and then I pushed him again, this time with both of my hands.

"It's on," he said. Then he went for me. I tried to punch his gut but his costume absorbed my hit, I hit him right on the egg. Then the dude in the chansey costume put his arm around my neck and started hitting me in the stomach. It felt very weird. His hits felt soft and cushy at first, but then it hurt, right after he hit me. I threw fists on the air, but they didn't get him, and the ones that did just hit him on the costume. He then threw me on the ground pretty easily, put his pink foot over my arm, right below my shoulder, and then he punched me in the shoulder a few times while I grunted with my eyes closed and teeth at full display. Then he got off of me and kicked me in the gut, and then on the side, right where it already hurt.

He cursed at me, then he said, "That's what you get dude, you deserve that."

It was a slow morning, so it was just him and I, I moaning on the ground right next to the entrance of the pokemart. Then he hurried to pick up all of the bars and put them back on the tray, and moved to the corner of the store, away from me. I know he was right, I do know he was right. I knew it then, when I was on the ground holding my sides, letting out pretty low, painful moans.

I still had some shame I could feel, so I got up and left as soon as I could. When I was a far enough away from the store I turned to take a look at the guy. He was still on the corner, holding the tray and the sign like nothing had happened, like he hadn't beaten the crap out of me just moments ago, while wearing a chansey costume. He looked just as pissed as he was in the beginning, but that might have been his usual face.


	17. Chapter 17

I have to admit, after I got beat up by a dude wearing a chansey costume outside the supermarket, I was feeling pretty low, not as low as when the gang beat me up and then peed on me, but pretty low nonetheless.

It got worse when I went back to Elesa's apartment. I tried my best to pretend nothing had happened, and it didn't really matter because they knew I had been beat up—one time—and therefore had trouble walking. So Breegadoon didn't notice the difference when I appeared there, he just told me that he had left my clean clothes on the couch. I thanked him, more effusively than what was perhaps appropriate. Nobody had been so nice to me in quite a while, or at least not since I could remember. At that point I felt pretty dead. I couldn't find anybody in the apartment, so I just changed back into my clothes right there on the couch, because I felt pretty comfortable there. I actually just changed my shirt there, because I remembered I was free-balling, as the kids say I think. That's when I realized that the shirt that Elesa had lend me was missing a button, which had probably fallen off during the struggle with the dude in the chansey costume, or maybe after one of his kicks to my tummy. I felt pretty bad about that, and I wished she was right there so I could just tell her, but she was nowhere to be found. I did go to the bathroom to change my pants, and that's when I discovered that the third Casteliacone bar that I had stolen and put in my pocket, had been crushed by the chansey-man's kick, and some of the creamy filling had burst out of the wrapping, leaving stains on the fancy pants. I felt even worse. In just one morning I had ruined two pieces of clothing, both of them ridiculously expensive, I assume. I don't feel proud of what I did next, mainly because it would be a pretty dumb thing to feel proud of, however, I also didn't feel ashamed, at all. So, what I did there, is I started licking the filling off of the pants, it tasted just like castelia cone, but a bit more salty. I kind of enjoyed it at first, but then I just couldn't. Regardless, I actually left the pants pretty clean, so then it was just the shirt that was ruined. Afterwards I folded the borrowed clothes and left them on the couch, then I went out of the apartment, into the stairs, carrying the messed-up candy bar with me, all the way to the stairs on the last floor. I actually tried to go to the roof but the door was locked, so I just sat down on the stairs, and started licking the wrapping squeaky clean. Then I put it right over my face. At some point I started crying, I don't know why, but while I was licking the wrapping, tasting the chocolate, I was crying, actually crying.

I fell on my side, and then I stopped crying but kept the wrapping over my face. I just kept it there with my hands. I don't know why I did it, I couldn't smell the castelia cone on it anymore, in fact I couldn't smell anything, but I didn't want to take it off of my face. I remember, castelia cones used to be really hard to get, you could only get them on Tuesdays, and you could only buy them for a few hours. If you didn't manage to get one then you'd have to wait until the next Tuesday to try again. Because of this there was always a huge line to get them, and I'm sure some of those people wanted to get them only because they were so hard to get. Also, because of this, some people tried to re-sell them for a lot more money, but the people who actually sold them stopped that by giving castelia cones to children—who would most likely be the ones to be cheated by scammers. Well, none of that matters now. Now you can buy them in bulk, any day of the week, for close to nothing. And now apparently that's not enough, and they are branching out to candy bars of different flavors. And I'm sure in the future that won't be enough and they'll have to try something different, when the candy bars become stale, just like the cones did. Then I had to take the wrapping off of my face, because I was starting to get a little dizzy.

I wanted to get to the roof of the building but the door at the very top of the stairs was locked. I went downstairs to ask Brigadoon for the key, but when I didn't find him I just started walking down the street. I didn't know where I was heading, I was kind of anxious, and I think because of that I couldn't stop. I just kept walking down the street. I actually do that a lot, whenever I get nervous I go on walks, and as I usually get nervous because I don't know what's going to happen, with me and in general, and such, I often just go walking aimlessly, and then when I stop I have trouble going back because I end up too tired and too far away. But I really don't care, I'd rather go on walks and end up tired and lost than just stay there. So there I was, I really didn't care what happened to me, but at least I knew that walk wouldn't make my situation any worse. I actually love taking walks, as I feel like I can only concentrate when I'm moving. And I was hoping that would help me think of what the hell I was going to do next, but it didn't really help me. I kind of felt like I couldn't access my brain, at least not how I wanted to, and I could only think what my brain wanted to think of at that moment. I don't know if that makes sense, but I guess I was just too tired, and was half asleep.

All of the sudden I got my charizard's face on my mind, and I couldn't shake it off, it was all I could think of. Just his face, emotionless, not lifeless, but not really indicating anything. I remember when he was just a charmander. A stupid idiot had left him to die in the rain, I hope he's dead, I really do. Anyway, I remember I spent a whole night inside a cave holding him very close until the rain subsided. Then I felt really close to him, I saw ourselves as equals, as partners, who had each other's backs. And he was a really good friend, and I could really be myself around him. I know it sounds dumb, but I mean it. It's not like I was able to have awesome conversations with him or anything, but when you looked at him in the eyes you just could tell that he was all in and that he wasn't pretending. He was very chill one second, and then the next one he'd be ready to defend you with his life. That all changed when he evolved into charmeleon, his eyes changed too. He was the same and yet he was completely different all of the sudden. Our relationship changed, and I felt like he wasn't in it a hundred percent anymore. I felt like he closed off too. I tried to be there for it, I tried really hard to get him to open up again, but after that I didn't really enjoy being around him anymore, not like when he was a charmander; and that hasn't really changed. It suddenly felt no different than when I had to talk to people, he sucked all of the fun out of training. It got worse when he evolved into Charizard. For a while he was jerk, and his attitude really damaged my career, so there was that. But then, when he saw how much of a jerk he was being to me, and how much he was hurting to me, that almost made it worse. He changed, he became very amiable, and was always ready to be of help, but I still felt like there was a barrier between us, like he was just pretending, like he had to do so. And then he got himself a girlfriend and he left me. And he wouldn't have left me if I hadn't let him, and I knew he would have stayed with me if I'd told him to. He would have. But I knew he would have done it out of compromise only. The truth is that I wanted him to leave, and he definitely wanted to leave me, because I couldn't give him what he wanted or needed, because he had to go and make everything so complicated. I felt the same way about other pokemon that I've had, Sceptile, Goodra, and even Greninja, with whom I was so close you could even see our connection. But with all of them I always reached a state in our relationship where there was nowhere left to go and it had to end, and it always did. And I always, literally always, felt like it was my fault. I helped them get better and then they all moved on from me and left me all alone. And then I was walking aimlessly around town, with nowhere to go.

And I didn't want to go anywhere, anywhere at all. Even Elesa's apartment, where it was safe and where I was welcome, seemed unappealing to me. So I just stood there, where I was at the moment. I found myself in front of the gym where Bianca and Iris and I saw those kids training. It was closed though, but I didn't want to go in anyway. While I was staring at the gym I heard something break inside my skull. I didn't actually feel anything, or at least I didn't feel pain, in fact it felt kind of pleasant, almost relieving. I didn't know what to do, I wasn't worried or anything, I just felt, slightly, like I should do something about it. I reached over to a glass to look at my reflection, and then took out my tongue. Everything seemed normal, and I felt fine. I was still in pain, and yet it was almost pleasant. I put my tongue back in my mouth, then closed it and smiled, as I stared at my reflection. I actually felt fine.

That's when I noticed I had left my wallet on the fancy pants, back on Elesa's apartment. I walked back there, it took me quite a while. By the time I arrived the sun was already going down, and my hips and my tummy hurt considerably, with a pulsating kind of pain that wouldn't go away. I knew it would be better if I rested, or at least if I didn't push myself so much, but then, what is youth good for? Anyway, nobody noticed I was still all messed up, and that's fine. It's way better than if they had noticed actually. Elesa was there, and Shani too, and the folded clothes were still on the couch, just like I had left them. I went over to grab my wallet at the same time I tried to explain what had happened to the shirt, however Elesa cut me off before I got to the part about the ripped button, and she told me the clothes were a gift for me. And then she discouraged me, quite effectively, from trying to refuse them, with only a few words. Not only that, but she also took me to one of her bedrooms, opened a closet, which was basically another room overloaded with clothes and stuff, and told me to grab whatever I needed, because everything in there had been given to her but she couldn't use it because it was all for men—also, it didn't fit her—and then she left me in there.

I tried on a pair of boots which made squeaky sounds when I walked, instead of clanking sounds like the moccasins. It was an upgrade for sure, but in the end I just chose some comfortable sneakers. I also chose a very comfortable pair of jeans, which, although they were pretty skinny, were made out of denim that was so elastic it almost didn't feel like denim, and so I could bend my legs a lot. I also grabbed a long-sleeved polo shirt, blue and white, and a brown jacket of the same style as the one I'd bought before, although this one was obviously of much higher quality, which was noticeable from how much more comfortable and warm it was, how nice it felt to stroke, and by how it had like three more pockets inside it. Also, it didn't have any pee on it. I also got a leather baseball cap, which I knew I'd only use during the winter. To keep my regular clothes as well as the ones that Elesa had already given me, I also grabbed a brown satchel, of a lighter shade of brown than the jacket, but that was it. And then I left, because I already felt like I was taking too much, even though the closet was still filled with too much stuff, in fact a bunch of boxes fell and the room became even more full, still, I'm not really into clothes. I got out and thanked her for being so nice to me, but she told me to not mention it, then she said, "Anything for one of Roxie's friends," and I didn't mind it that much during that moment, but then once I got out of the apartment I realized she didn't actually remember me, and she only knew my name because Roxie had told her I was coming. Once I was outside I just accepted that, it was fine. Anyway, before I left the apartment Elesa did ask me if I wanted to stay, but I refused, and thanked her again for all of her hospitality. I just felt like I couldn't sleep there, I don't know why, I just couldn't. Also, while I was still there, I asked Shani out on a date but she said she didn't have time, although she did give me three pokeballs. I didn't know what to do with them, but I didn't say anything about that. I just grabbed them and said, "You could break a couple of windows with these," and they laughed. And then I left.


	18. Chapter 18

So I was out in the dark again, during a wet, cold night. Shani had given me three pokeballs, which I didn't know what to do with. I kept one in my hand as I went along, just for fun. When I walked by an alley I threw it at the shadows, then I took another one from my satchel, where I kept the rest of my clothes, including the jacket I had bought—which I still have by the way—and then, when I walked by another alleyway, I threw the second pokeball at the shadows again. Then I took out my last pokeball, however, knowing that it was my last one, and that I'd probably end up encountering another alleyway, I decided to stop for the night and continue my travels in the morning. However, as I didn't have a sleeping bag or anything to make a fire with, and it was pretty cold, I decided to go inside the first commercial establishment that I found near me, from which you could hear the music playing, even from outside. A very large man stopped me at the entrance. At first he just raised his open hand at me, foolishly thinking that'd be enough to stop me, but when he saw that it didn't do anything to deter me he straight up grabbed me and pushed me away. And then he said, "Hold on, are you old enough to be here?" and I opened my eyes very wide, in an incensed sort of way. I was instantly done with him, immediately overcome with rage.

"What!" I shouted. "First I am not young enough, then I'm not old enough? Seriously, guys, make up your mind! I need this, man, I've had a very stressful couple of days."

"Sorry man, I just need to see some id."

"Do you know the last time I had to show my id to anyone? No, you don't, but look at me. I've been through fire, and cold, and rain. I've defeated numerous professionals, I've won countless medals—literally, I can't count them, I've lost some of them—I've been all over the world. Seriously, name a region, I've probably been there. I've done that and more, and I'm only sixteen years old… ups."

"Get out of here," the large man said.

I walked to the corner and tried that same stuff on another establishment, this time without the last part where I revealed I was sixteen. It also failed there, but then I went to a third establishment, right across the street, where it also failed and that time I also got slapped in the face by the man at the front, and yet, it worked on the fourth place I went to, and I was in. I felt a great sense of accomplishment, for the first time in forever I felt like what I had done with my life had really paid off. And the result was that I wasn't going to freeze to death that night. I walked into the warm place with walls and a roof, which was actually pretty well lit for a place like that, anyway, I walked in like I owned it. There they were playing classier music than in the rest of the establishments, and so I went in with a walk kind of influenced by the music. I was Ash Ketchum, I had conquered the world once more, and I was ready for my next adventure. I never wanted to be a champion, I never wanted to know everything, I always wanted to be a hero, and that night I had achieved what I always wanted, that night I had saved myself. So I felt pretty good, like myself again. Very quickly I found a pack of girls standing around a small table. I approached them holding my last pokeball and then threw it at the tallest one of the group. I chose her because I thought she'd probably have the highest individual values and a favorable nature, and of course we could work on her effort values, which—because she was blonde, tall and attractive—I assumed were pretty low. After I threw the pokeball and approached them they were all looking at me weird. I got to their table, they were all taller than me, and then I said to the one I'd chosen, I said, "Hey! I caught you. My name is Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town, come dance with me."

"Excuse you?" she said.

"I'm your trainer now, come on it'll be fun." I remember that very vividly, more so than some other stuff that happened to me, and somehow I also remember very well that I was internally raving like a lunatic.

"I don't think so," she said. Then her friends laughed in a rather mean-spirited way and one of them called me a jerk.

"You don't want to obey me? That's okay," I said, "some of the pokemon I've caught and trained started up not obeying me. Not only that, I'm sure they hated me. Not only that, they did a lot of stuff to me. They electrocuted me, they burned me, they tackled me, they stomped on me, but in the end they always ended up loving me in the end. That's what I miss the most you know, the experience, the substance, that's the real stuff right there. That's the journey. It's not about winning or losing, no sir, it's all about knowing somebody else, but really knowing them you know, more than you know yourself. If you don't know your pokemon like you know yourself, then, then, you don't know yourself. I tell you, them and I, them and I man, I mean woman. Them and I, and nothing else mattered. They were all that mattered to me. Come on! what's holding you back? Don't you want to go on an adventure with me? I'll take you to Kalos and show you around. I can take you to the top of the Lumiose Tower even on a Sunday night, when it's closed. No? How about something more tropical, Hoenn, Alola? You name it, let's go. Come on, just say yes and dance with me, now that I'm happy, let me transmit the vibes to you. Come on! What do you have to lose? Or what, are you afraid of me? Seriously?"

As soon as I finished I extended my hand to her. I sensed that I did it in a very cool and suave way, but I don't actually know how it came out. A lot of seconds passed, and I kept my position, with my hand extended, until she turned to her friends, left and right, smiled, and then took my hand, and we went to the dance-floor at the back. She was wearing a tight black dress and high heels.

"Are you sure you can dance wearing those Serena?" I really said that to her.

"My name is Ashley," she replied casually.

"Ashley? Okay, I mean it's not Serena, but whatever."

"How many have you had?"

"How many what, adventures? More than I can count Serena, I mean, Ashley. Ashley, I won't forget that now. I need to get my head straight, I've been having trouble focusing lately."

"Yeah, I bet. Do you think you can focus for two seconds?"

"Maybe not Daw…Ashley, but why would I want to have a straight head anyway? I'd rather stay crazy."

"You're a weird one aren't you. I have to give it to you, I have no idea of what you're doing. What do you want anyway?"

"Right now I want to dance, and I want you to dance with me."

"Alright."

So we started dancing pretty energetically. To be honest I have no idea of how to dance, and I don't particularly like it. The very few times that I've had to do it I did it by just moving instinctively. However, I have learned that your instincts don't actually work for everything, for example, I danced instinctively in the same way I would drive a semi-truck if I had to do it instinctively—if I had managed to start it up, I would've either crashed or killed a bunch of people, or both. So anyway, as I danced with Ashley she laughed at me a lot.

Let's see, I think I moved my head from side to side very forcefully, to the point that I gave myself a headache, although it was quite fun and felt sort of liberating, while I was doing it. I also shook my hips and clapped a lot. For a long time it was just me and Ashley dancing in front of each other, very close, as close as we could be without touching. At some point she grabbed my head with both of her hands, and kept it still for a while. Her hands were cold but very soft, she was much taller than me so I had to turn my head upwards to look at her. Then she released me, and started waving her fingers very close to my face at the same time she reached her own face to mine, and moved her head forwards and backwards. Then I started imitating her, and soon our noses started touching a lot, and even though we were pretty invested in the moment we made sure not to thrust our faces into each other's so hard so as to avoid hurting our noses. It was a very good instinct from the both of us, I sensed Ashley was very in tune with her physical awareness, as was I during my heyday, as well as that night. It was something else, even though in one plane I was only aware of myself internally, in another plane I was only aware of her, with my eyes, and I was very aware of her, and at the same time in another plane I was very aware of the whole place, encompassed by the walls and the floor and the roof, and I understood where everyone and everything was at all times. Even though the throbbing music was deafeningly loud and the flashing lights were pretty disorienting, I basically was that place, on that floor there was magic, there was fun. And then I was also Ashley looking down at me, but I could tell that she was also her own person, and she was enchanted by me, even if to a certain extent she was laughing at me, not with me, at me, she was also enjoying the sight of me, and honestly, it was a totally different kind of experience for me. The way she was looking at me, the way I was aware of her, I didn't know I could be noticed by someone the way I was noticed by her.

"Do you want to get out of here?" She said right in my ear. She pretty much had to shout it.

"What? But we just got here," I said.

"Come on Ash, you got it. We don't have to play anymore."

"Okay sure, where do you want to go?"

"Wherever you want."

"Seriously? Okay, I have a few ideas. There's a region I haven't visited yet, called..."

"Hey, just let me go to the washroom real quick, and then we'll leave."

"Okay fine, go to the washroom. There she goes, see, she's obeying me already." Thankfully she didn't hear that last part.

After Ashley left I continued dancing for a little bit but got self-conscious pretty quickly so I went to the counter. On the corner, closer to the dance-floor, very far from the door, there was this shady group of guys who had been looking at me the whole time. At first I didn't give them much thought, only that they were either jealous of my clothes or of the Ashley I'd caught. But when I passed by them and looked at them for the first time, the sight of them sent shivers down my spine, and I got so nervous I started sweating. I obviously didn't know them and hadn't seen their faces before, but I felt like they knew that I felt like they knew me because I somehow knew them and they were well aware of that, or at least that's how I felt. Anyway I walked all the way to the other side of the counter, as far from them as I could be. And even then I could hear what they were saying, because they had to shout everything, because of the music. And also because of the music they probably felt like nobody would be able to hear what they were saying. Unlucky for them, I think, I not only have a good sense of smell, I also have very good hearing, and my senses were particularly sharp that night. They were talking about a guy called Rotten Slippy, who had ordered them to do something. Of course I did imagine that they were the gang who had beaten me up, and I even started considering the notion that the beating I'd suffered had been premeditated, instead of a spontaneous thing, but then I stopped thinking about that entirely, because that night in particular I felt like my old self, and as such I felt invincible. Anyway, next to me was sitting a woman with short black hair, wearing glasses, who looked kind of bored. I sat right next to her and started a conversation.

"Hey, my name is Ash Ketchum, what's yours?"

"Monica," she replied with a disinterested tone.

"Really? Well, I'm all out of pokeballs, but to be honest I'd love to catch you too."

"Wow. No."

"Alright, but first let me get you something May."

"I said my name is Monica."

"Ah, right. Can I call you May though?"

"...Sure."

"Wait, no, I'll call you Dawn instead."

"Sure, whatever, Ash. What kind of name is that?"

"I think it means wisdom or sense, or something about cleaning a tree."

"Or it just means ash."

"Eh, sure, maybe."

"…No offense Ash, but out of all the guys who've talked to me tonight, you're the weakest one so far," she said. And then I got furious at her.

"What? Are you serious, I'm the weakest one? Here? Just so you know I reached the round of sixteen of the Indigo Plateau Conference, that's right the Kanto League. Also, I won! The Orange League! I won it, the whole thing."

"What is that?"

"The Orange League? From the Orange Archipelago?"

Monica just nodded negatively, with her lips pursed. So I continued.

"I reached the round of 8 on the Johto League Silver Conference Victory Tournament. I also reached the round of 8 on the Ever Grande Conference on Hoenn. On Sinnoh, on the Lily of the Valley Conference, I reached the semifinals, and was defeated by a dude who's now in jail. Jail. Jail, Iris, do you hear me? Jail."

"Who's Iris?"

"You're Iris."

"I thought I was May."

"No, you were actually Dawn. Come on Iris, keep up. Anyway, on the Unova Vertress Conference I reached… the round of 8 again, I think. And in Kalos, on the Lumiose Conference, I was the freaking runner-up. That's right! …But I'll tell you what, none of that matters Misty. In truth, it is all about the experience. The experience that only you experience, with those close to you. The experience nobody but you knows. The experience you don't share with anyone else. It's not about winning, or about looking like you're winning. It's not about anything like that."

"Right? I do hate that, I hate that so much," Monica said, with significantly more enthusiasm. "These days it's all about feigning enjoyment. About manufacturing a facade of success and plenitude, which is totally fake and worthless."

"Monica, you couldn't be more right. That's what I've been saying this whole time. Seriously, you get it. Everyone is fake, everyone wants to be seen like a winner just for the sake of being a winner, and that's so shallow. Honestly, what are people doing these days? But seriously, what is it? I'm asking. You know what, I'll even answer myself. Nobody knows, nobody knows what they are doing."

"Nobody knows, and nobody really cares about anything except for their image, for their fake, worthless image. That's all. And why? Because they want to seem cool, because they want everyone to think that they are doing great, that things are going great for them, when beneath the shadow of their reality they have nothing, nothing but sadness and sorrow. It's all images, and in reality they leave us with nothing."

"We're living in an hyper-reality Monica, we're done. As a species, our species at least, is done."

"That's so true. Wow Ash, honestly I thought you were a dick but you're actually alright."

"Thanks, do you want to get out of here?"

"Okay," she said, not in a positive way, more in an instantly disappointed kind of way. "Shut it down."

"My friend Serena and I, I mean Ashley and I are embarking on an adventure through… um… somewhere, maybe Kalos."

"I'm not interested Ash, let me drink alone please."

"What? Why?"

"You're an idiot."

"Yeah, maybe, but I promise you it'll be fun."

"Yeah, I don't think so. Seriously I don't want to talk to you anymore."

"I thought we were having a nice conversation. I guess you don't like to travel, what was the last region you visited?"

"What? What are you?"

"What am I? Oh man, I don't know. What kind of question is that? Come on, it'll be fun, just the three of us, hanging out and having fun, sleeping on the ground, walking, traveling, sleeping, repeating it all day."

Right after I said that she threw her drink at me and walked away. And right after that Ashley came out of the toilet, and she saw the whole scene. Monica walked past her and then Ashley went to talk to me with a very confused and kind of surprised look on her face.

"Hey, what do you think you're doing Ash? Man, you move fast," Ashley said.

"I was just inviting Dawn to our adventure?"

"Are you serious? Man, when you said you'd take me on an adventure you weren't lying."

"What! No, of course I wasn't lying. Look, I can be many things, I'll give you that. I'll tell it to you straight. Am I a loser? technically I am, but if I am a loser then I am also a winner, if you think about it. Am I a dick? Sure, I can be a dick unconsciously, I'm just trying my best, I'm trying to be the best, like no one ever was, and yes, there's a lot of things I don't get, that's a real test, for me. Small cues and what not, always go over my head. But I'm not a liar. If we are going to embark on an adventure, that's something that you have to know about me, I will never lie to you. Will I be a self-centered jerk? Of course I will, I know myself, no question about it. But I promise it'll be fun, that I can promise. I'll take the three of us wherever the two of you want, I've been all over the world. Now, what do you say, do you want to embark on an adventure with us?"

"There's only one of me, Dawn is gone."

"Oh yeah, that sucks. It's always better with three people, trust me. And it's definitely safer. It can be just the two of us, don't get me wrong, but I'm sure somewhere along the way we'll find someone else, chances are it'll be my friend Brock, and we'll have more fun that way. Don't you agree?"

"Yeah, sure," Ashley said.

Then we went out of the bar and Ashley tried to hail a cab. Even though it was the middle of the night there were still a lot of cars around, although not many of them were cabs, unusually. At some point Ashley became much more aloof, and quiet. She kept staring at the sky, and wouldn't look at me, as she kept trying to hail a cab.

"Ah, the night," she said. "The night whispers that I know it is totally crazy to dream I find romance, a chance to change my lonely world, not a chance to find true love, because I know it all ends tomorrow, Ash, so give me tonight."

Then Ashley buried her face in her hands and let out a deep sigh.

"What's wrong?" I asked her.

"Oh Ash, you wouldn't ever understand."

"What? What the hell am I supposed to do with that? Just say what you mean, it'll be easier for everybody, seriously."

Right after I said that she punched me in the face really hard, so hard her fist decked me and knocked me out cold. When I was falling down backwards, propelled by the force of the hit, I wasn't in control of my body, I was already half-unconscious, but I did feel when the back of my head hit the ground, and it hurt almost as much as her punch. Almost. At least I knew I had made the right decision when I chose her, when I chose to catch her; she was very powerful. And then I went to sleep.


	19. Chapter 19

When I was conscious again, I could only distinguish that my head felt weird. It hurt noticeably, although it wasn't that bad. Everything was dark, I could only think slowly, and if I tried to think faster I'd just feel worse, like my mind itself was stopping me from thinking, like it wasn't fully awake yet and needed some time to reboot itself. Then I remembered what had happened the night before, my ashley had gotten mad at me for something I said, so she knocked me down and then escaped. At least I understood. I felt exactly how I thought it would feel if somebody knocked you down with a very angry and powerful fist to the face.

Slowly, very slowly I regained full consciousness. It was morning, a pretty warm and bright morning actually. I was laying on the ground, more specifically on the sidewalk, moaning like I had just woken up, and my pants were gone. Still, for a while there I didn't move more than I needed, I just laid there, resting and recharging, mentally examining my state, all with the objective of standing up a few minutes later. I was right in front of the nightclub slash bar, at least it was closed by then, so I was all alone. Some time passed, I could tell because the sun had changed its position considerably, from the moment I first saw it to the moment I tried to stand up. It took me quite a while but I managed to get up. I was mostly fine, although I had to wait a few moments to walk away because at first I felt like I'd fall over if I tried. I was still wearing my shoes, and my cap. My jacket was fine, I dusted my shoulders off a bit. It was just that my pants were gone. Luckily, I found them on a trash container right next to the bar, right on top of all the trash. I grabbed them and put them on, my wallet and the little money I had left were still there, everything was still there. So I got pretty confused. I couldn't even begin to think of what could've happened during the time I was passed out, nothing I thought of made sense, so in the end I just stopped worrying about it, because I felt relatively fine and it was just too strange.

After I got up and started walking down the street, I caught my reflection on the glass at the front of a pokemart. I looked pretty cool in the outfit I had chosen, or at least it looked cool to me. However, as I was checking myself out from bottom to top, I also discovered that I had gained another black eye. The first one I'd gotten, on the other eye by the way, I had gotten on my first day on Castelia, courtesy of my friend Trip, whom I still considered a friend, if not a good one. That one had almost healed when I got the second one, from the Ashley I caught the night before, whom I apparently had released in my sleep, after she herself put me to sleep I mean. Okay, I never actually thought I had caught a person, but that night, when that actually happened, I sort of mixed a whole bunch of stuff in my brain. I guess I was tripping from the sleep deprivation or something, but regardless of what happened, or how I acted, I still remember that night as a fun experience, maybe because of the dancing.

Anyway, I continued staring at my reflection for quite a while, and focused specifically on my eyes. My brown, tired eyes, at which it took effort to hold a gaze. It had been a wild ride, I thought; if I had been given the choice to do it all again, I would do it, yes; but I'd tell my mom, first and foremost, that I'd fail. My eyes reminded me of her, and it was truly a bittersweet feeling. Because, why couldn't I get my own set of eyes, different from everybody else's? And yet, I missed her, like never before. I missed them all. I missed Cynthia's incisive gray eyes, just like I missed Iris's innocent brown eyes, Bianca's tender green eyes, May's lively blue, Lorelei's piercing blue, Dawn's blue, Aldith's, Serena's gentle blue, Diantha's, Caitlin's, Roxie's, Bonnie's child blue. Jeez, oh you have green eyes, oh you have blue eyes, oh you have gray eyes; oh you have blue eyes, oh you have blue eyes, oh you have blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes. Blue eyes.

Blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes. Blue eyes. Blue eyes everywhere. All things considered, I felt fine.

While I was pleasantly staring and remembering, I heard a commanding shout. I turned to my left, where the commanding voice had seemingly come from, and found an Officer Jenny with her hand raised, staring right at me. Right when I saw her she shouted again, as she looked right at me. She had beautiful blue eyes, I told her three times, although I don't think she heard me. On second thought, I'm pretty sure her eyes were brown.

Then she started walking up to me with a stern look on her face, and I got out of my lethargy, and then I got really anxious. She shouted at me again, telling me to come to her. She was definitely talking to me, and I got really scared. She was still a bit far away from me, and I thought I'd be able to make a break for it if I tried. Still, that seemed like a long shot, so, before I tried my luck, I tested the waters. I said to her, I said,

"Is it because of the window at the pokemon center or because of indecent exposure? I swear I woke up without pants I didn't mean to take them off in the middle of the street. Or maybe it is because of the gang that peed on me?"

As I was asking, Officer Jenny shouted my full name, Ash Ketchum! She shouted it clearly, and then I got so scared that I ran away. I just turned back and escaped as fast as I could. I heard her steps right behind me as she chased after me, but I already had a plan, with which I came up in an instant, almost right after she shouted my name. Even from the pokemart I could hear the music playing near me, which I recognized instantly. I turned a corner quickly and, very skillfully and with considerable pain on my hip, I located the first bar in which I had tried to get in the night before, the first bar in which I failed to get in, I mean. The same one which during the morning I managed to get in, without being seen by Officer jenny. I recognized the same sad music, even from outside, and also, more importantly, the dude at the front wasn't there anymore. And so I hid in there for a while, Jenny didn't go in, thankfully.

That place was more gloomy, and definitely more desolate, than the other bar where I danced with my Ashley. She didn't belong to me or anything, but I really like referring to her as my Ashley, although I guess I should stop. Anyway, so I walked up to the counter of this other seedy bar and ordered a glass of milk and some bread, and spent the rest of my money on that. It was then that I realized, I was able to feed myself that morning thanks to the gang that beat me up without taking my money, as well as whoever took my pants off without stealing my wallet. Anyway, it didn't matter, besides I was also able to feed myself, more directly, thanks to my mom, who had given me the money in the first place. At that point it didn't matter to me, and it certainly didn't matter that I had spent all of my money, because I was too busy being scared. Officer Jenny was looking specifically for me, she even knew my name. So, I have to admit, I was pretty frightened, even more so than when the gang was about to beat me up. This seemed like a bigger deal. I guess, knowing that she was the law, the actual law, made the situation instinctively more scary for me, because I was a prude and a square and all of that. But it was still pretty scary, the police was looking for me. And just by pondering about it for a few seconds I came up with reasonable explanations as to why I was a wanted man. I had snitched to them about the creepy guy's hotel, of course they knew about it. Nobody wanted me to do that, to snitch. By doing so I was just ruining everything, I was disrupting the arranged order, by trying to do what I thought was right. Furthermore, I had also broken a window, stolen some candy bars, made out with Roxie, and had had a few clandestine fights. I don't know, take your pick.

It took me quite a while to calm down, and I assumed it was enough in order for Officer Jenny to have left so I could escape. Because I knew that zone had become too hot for me and I had to get out. So I came out of the bar with my heart throbbing intensely and my eyes peeled, and looked for signs of her. Everything seemed normal although my sphincter remained clenched. Then I went for it: I walked fast, away from there. And I didn't stop until I sensed I was far enough away. More specifically, until my legs started throbbing with pain and an incisive pain settled in my hip. I ended up very close to the pier down south, and settled myself in front of a broken down pokemon center, and sat on the ground, resting my back on the front of the building. A few minutes later I fell sound asleep.

Another shout woke me up, I immediately thought that was it for me. I stood up, ignoring the pain, and prepared myself to scream at them pleading not to shoot me. Thankfully I stopped myself short before actually screaming, although I did raise my hands, but nobody saw me, because nobody cared. This time the shout had come from a confused trainer, who was pacing left and right on the sidewalk, pretty much right in front of me. It was obvious, he looked just how I looked in the past, to the hopelessly optimistic face and the excessive accessorizing, that guy was a trainer, a pokemon trainer if I ever saw one. And I had.

"Maggie!" he shouted extremely loud, disregarding my presence as well as my well-being entirely. Then he repeated it a couple of times, just as loudly, and with an aggressive inflection. Either he was angry in that moment or he was an angry person in general, but he had a pretty potent and effective voice, for a kid. Then he shouted "Brian!" and that's when I said, "Take it easy," but he didn't hear me.

He kept shouting those two names for a while, until he said: "Pikachu!" and the sudden surprise filled me with enough energy to acknowledge him.

"Hey, what did you say?" I said to him.

"What?" he said, "do you need money?"

"What? No, do I look like a hobo? With these clothes, with these pants?"

"I guess not," he said, "but you were sleeping on the ground. Perhaps you had a wild night out and ended up here."

"What do you know about wild nights out kid?"

"I know what people mean when they say that."

"I bet you don't, I certainly didn't when I was your age."

"You talk as if you're older than me, but you aren't."

"You mean it? Man, if only you had been working at the supermarket."

"What?"

"Nothing, what are you doing here anyway? This isn't a good part of town."

"My traveling companions and I started arguing, and I guess it got bad enough that my pikachu got scared and ran away."

"You still call them your traveling companions, what are you, twelve?" I asked, mockingly.

"I'm ten," he replied nonchalantly.

"Ten? You're way too young to be on this part of town, go to the park or something. Stick around Burgh's gym if you know what's good for you."

"I can't, I've got to find my pikachu and my friends."

"Just go back to the pokemon center, I'm sure they'll be there too."

"What? No, they headed this way."

"All of them?"

"Yes."

"You can't be sure of that."

"Yes I can, I saw them. What do you know anyway? You were sleeping until a few seconds ago."

"Seriously kid, this place is dangerous for you."

"You can call me Archie, that's my name."

"Okay Archie, go away, go north, now."

"What? No! I've got to find my friends!"

"I'll find them for you, just do as I say."

"You don't even know them."

"Okay, tell me what they look like."

"I'm not going to leave without them, I know they are somewhere around here."

"…You're a stubborn one aren't you."

"What? I don't think I am. You're more stubborn than I am, and I don't need your help to find them."

"Yes you do. Never dismiss people who want to help you. I guess, you also must be wary of people who approach you saying that they want to help. You must develop a good criteria to decide who you accept help from."

"So I should accept help from a drunk guy sleeping on the streets?"

"Hey! I'm your elder, and I want to help. I ended up in the round of sixteen of the… You know what, I was the runner up on the Lumiose Conference a few years ago."

"What? Wait a sec, you're Ash Kecthum, aren't you? You're my hero," the kid said to me, suddenly starry-eyed.

"I, I am. Jeez, I didn't think that would actually work on someone."

"I have a lot of heroes," he said, decidedly with a less amused tone, perhaps trying to communicate to me that I should calm down.

"Okay Archie, you could've let me have that."

"No. I finished on the round of sixteen on the Hoenn League myself. It was my first official competition. Although I have to admit I got pretty lucky with it."

"I reached the round of sixteen on my first official competition too," I said, trying to relate.

"Yeah, and now I'm here on Unova, trying again. It's a lot harder than it seemed at first. I'd never been in a foreign region."

"Yeah."

"It's not like it isn't fun."

"Maybe you should've chosen a region closer to yours for your second trip."

"Maybe."

We became quiet, and then after a while we instinctively started walking, heading towards the pier. When we got there we turned to the left and went through a few streets, then turned back and circled the zone until we went back to the pier. And then we went right, and continued searching.

"So, what were you and your friends arguing about?" I asked him.

He didn't hear me, so I repeated the question.

"Oh, I don't know," he said. "The usual stuff. We argue all the time, they're pretty annoying."

"What do you have to argue about? You're ten. How old are they?"

"The same as me. We have plenty of things to argue about. We're together at all times, it's killing me."

"No it's not killing you, you're ten, you're not even fully alive yet."

"What?"

"Am I not speaking loud enough? I haven't had a lot of conversations recently."

"No, it isn't you. I can't hear very well. One time in Hoenn me and my friends went into a factory and found a nest of voltorb. One of them used self-destruct very close to my face. Since then I can't hear with my left ear."

"But anyway, what do you mean it's killing you? You're together at all times, you have to be together at all times to be safe, and it's the best part about the whole thing. It has to be fun for you. If you don't like it then why are you doing it?"

"What?"

"If you don't like hanging out with your friends on a place completely alien to you, why do you do it?"

"Because I want to."

"And?"

"And what? I don't need another reason."

"I guess not."

We circled all the way back to the pier again, and didn't find them. At that point Archie got all gloomy and sat on the corner of the derelict pokemon center. He had his legs crossed, his elbows on his legs, and his cheeks on his hands. He looked really sad and I was standing next to him.

"What am I going to do?" he said. "My pikachu's pretty sensitive. I bet he's pretty scared right about now. Maybe they all are."

"You miss your friends."

Archie looked at me angrily, but I could still see the sadness in him.

"Yeah! What do you want me to do, not miss them?"

"I'm sure they are okay, we'll find them soon enough."

"You don't know that."

"Yes I do."

"No you don't, there's a chance we'll never find them."

"Come on Archie, you're way too young to become an embittered defeatist."

"When will I be old enough to become an embittered defeatist?"

"I don't know, sixteen?"

"What, are you serious?"

"No. No, of course not. You'll never become an embittered cynic. Come on, let's go find them."

"We've looked for them all day, we won't find them."

"Yes we will, we still have the rest of the city, come on, let's head up north. We need to get out of this zone anyway."

I basically had to drag Archie along, but we moved to a better neighborhood. I was heading back to the zone that was still too hot for me, but I didn't care, all I wanted was for Archie to find his friends, obviously including his pikachu. At some point well into the afternoon Archie got tired and thirsty, luckily just a few streets after that happened we found a pokemon center. I told him I'd wait outside, and he went in by himself. He was rather anxious and yet still visibly sad. A long time passed. When he came out he looked even worse.

"I don't know what I'm going to do man," he said. "Pikachu was my best friend."

"You're speaking as if you're never going to see him again."

"That's because I won't. We've looked everywhere."

"That's hardly the case."

He just looked at me angrily.

"We're in a better zone, you can call the rest of your pokemon out, to help us look for them. You do have more pokemon, right?"

"Of course I do, but it will be of no use whatsoever."

"Come on Archie. If you really want to do this you can't let something as small as this defeat you. I mean, if this is what you actually want to do, like you said you did, you just can't give up like this, just a few hours after it happened."

"You're just trying to convince me."

"Of course I am, but you know that I'm right, because I'm right, and you know it."

Archie sighed deeply, for a prolonged period of time. The sight of him along with the sound really broke my heart. I patted him on the shoulder and then we started walking, and that's when we saw a boy and a girl walking toward us, the girl holding a pikachu on her arms, whilst sporting a smile on her face. Archie shouted his pokemon's name and joyously ran after him at the same time Pikachu jumped from her arms and went for him, and they ran to each other and met halfway and hugged, it was corny. As they were celebrating and right before Archie introduced me to the group, I noticed a shady group of people staring at me from across the street. It was the, shady group of people, the very same; no doubt about it. And right when I noticed their stare I realized they had been following us for quite a while, because I realized I had felt their stares on me, I just knew it. So Archie introduced me to Brian, Maggie and Pikachu. The three kids were hilariously of the same size and had the same happy eyes and smiles on their faces. Suddenly they had forgotten all of their worries and differences, and the adventure of the day had ended for them. I was just a friendly face which they'd slightly remember come the end of their journey, as one of the many friendly and helpful faces of the day which they encountered along the way. If I hadn't been so worried for them I would've cried, out of the sheer enjoyment of that moment. I hurried to tell them to leave. I told them as nicely and calmly as I could to go up north, to Burgh's gym. There the assistant could take them to his house, to Burgh's house I mean, and he would guide them. They accepted, that's what they would do, they told me enthusiastically, but they didn't hurry to leave. So I had to insist, I told them they had to leave now, because they sun was about to go down; of course in reality there were still a few hours of sun left. Still they took their time, they said their effusive goodbyes to me, Archie with a scintillating spark in his eyes, and then they walked away from me, slowly, looking back at me as they moved forward, waving their hands well up in the air. It was a nice scene, that I couldn't enjoy because of the wretchedness oozing from across the street. But I think I pretended everything was okay very well. I stood still, waiting for the kids to leave that zone entirely; I waited for there to be a good distance between them and the gang, I waited with my eyes set on them, without moving a muscle, until the kids were well out of sight. Then I ran to the opposite side, and they chased after me, in the middle of the day. Even then I understood the situation rather well. If those were the same guys who peed on me—because I'm still not sure, it could be, but they were definitely the guys from the nightclub, the ones who were talking about Rotten Slippy—then the attack had been a clear message. And the message was, get out of town. As I hadn't done that, there they were again. At least the kids were safe. I consoled myself with that thought, as I ran filled with fright, in full brightness of day, with them behind me and getting closer with every second that passed. That scene lasted quite a bit, I got tired and a good deal of pain returned to me, however, this time, when I needed somebody to save me, somebody did. This time, when I turned a corner and found myself in a deserted street, and stopped running, thoroughly out of breath, in the middle of it, a man wearing a black long-coat, a rather formal, rather worn-out long-coat, simple looking, also wearing black pants and black shoes, also worn-out, appeared out of nowhere with a bisharp by his side. This man, who had reddish hair styled in a bowl haircut, although it was the cool kind of bowl haircut, where the hair at the front almost covers the eyes in a messy, irregular way, the hair at the back is long and overall cool, and the hair in general looks messy but cool; and he also had a reddish mustache, a milder beard, and a black eye, well into the process of healing; anyway, he ordered his bisharp to attack, and his pokemon did so, by very quickly tearing apart every single piece of clothing off of every single one of my pursuers, with its shiny sharp claws. It all happened in a second's time, and in a second's time they were completely naked in the middle of the street. It took them a couple of seconds to take notice of their unfortunate situation, and when they did all they managed to do was to start rubbing each other's bodies and grabbing each other's arms and chests, trying to cover themselves with one another very desperately. It didn't work, and it was a scene which I didn't enjoy with my eyes, but did enjoy, I guess, with my resentment. Anyway, afterwards they ran away, and left me alone with this strange man, whom I want to describe further, but maybe later. For now I'll just say he had a strange accent, very peculiar. Like it should've sounded refined and classy, but it didn't.


	20. Chapter 20

He approached me slowly, with his hands in his pockets. He was limping, I could see something wasn't right with his left leg. It seemed like a fresh injury, from the way he walked as well as the convalescing black eye, also on his left. Meanwhile the bisharp stood still behind him, for a while. Then it just turned back and walked away, without regarding either of us in the least. The pokemon casually turned a corner and then disappeared without a sound.

"Where's he going?" I asked.

"Who?" the strange man in black replied. His clothes were very worn-out, and smelled kind of bad, however that scent was utterly overrun by a heavy smell of cigarettes which emanated from him.

"Your pokemon, it's leaving," I said, pointing at the corner where the bisharp had just disappeared.

"I don't know what you're talking about mate," he replied with his strange foreign accent, which I could barely understand, "I don't have a pokemon, I'm completely alone, as alone as one can be."

And not only did he have a strange accent, but his voice sounded sort of raspy, like he had been screaming a lot or something, I also noticed that.

"Come on, your bisharp. I heard you giving orders. It listened to you."

"Nah, you probably heard wrong. Just a couple of seconds ago you were about to crap yourself."

"Well yeah, they were going to beat me up, they already did once. Anyway, thanks for saving me, my name is Ash Ketchum. I'm from Pallet Town." Right after I said this I extended my hand to him. He took it, he grabbed my fingers with his hand basically, and then gave me a very weak handshake.

"Pallet Town? Where the hell is that?" he asked.

"On Kanto."

"Ah, that miasmic stink-hole?"

"Hey! Watch it!"

"Excuse my poor decorum," he said, while pretending to be sorry. It was obviously a facade, and he seemed to be doing it on purpose, just to insult me even more. "I didn't mean to offend you by slandering the picturesque charm of your beloved region, to which, I assume, you feel so ingrained that the passion itself compels you to defend with aggressive pride. You run from a few thugs like a coward, you have nothing to defend yourself with, you lack any sort of strength, but you can shout at me, commanding me not to disparage your culture and your heritage, and quite loudly too. Congratulations, Ash, Kanto must be proud of you."

"As a matter of fact they are," I said, thoroughly incensed. "And I am proud of them, I even know a member of the local Elite 4. I actually know her extremely well."

"Of course you are proud love. Being proud of where you come from sure seems like quite an accomplishment. It takes a lot of effort to proclaim how proud you are of Kanto, it must help you sleep well at night. And, I guess, its easier than winning the league, isn't it?"

"Yeah, maybe. I don't know. Anyway, I've come rather close to winning the league a few times."

"Yeah, so have I."

"Really, how close did you get?"

"I took a leak on the corner of a gym, just an hour ago, as a matter of fact. That's pretty close if you ask me. At least I got as close as you did, I mean, neither of us won."

"No, I still think I got a lot closer than you did."

"And yet you didn't win. And, just by looking at you I can infer that you won't be winning the league in a blaze of glory any time soon, with the state in which you are at the moment. But don't worry, I didn't win it either, and look at me now."

He extended his arms to the sides, with open hands, and with a weird smile on his face. It seemed like he was trying to look sort of ironic but also kind of friendly, and yet there was something off about the smile. It was not too bad, it was just that I perceived some hate, some anger, on his grin.

"Jeez, what happened to you? Why are you like this?" I was kind of done with him by then, although I couldn't forget that he had saved me.

"You don't like what I'm saying, do you? Perhaps you're allergic to the truth. I was too, actually, but that's because I had never tasted it, not in the real sense. When I did, when I got a taste of the truth, I liked it so much I became addicted to it. Then it ruined my life. Oh wait, I think I'm talking about something else. What would you like to hear then? Would you like to hear that I was a trainer just like you were; I was successful enough to earn a living from it, everything ran smoothly and nothing bad ever happened to me; my adventurous nature did not generate any problems for me; the dangerous aspect of training pokemon for a living didn't hinder me in any way; I retained my youthful exuberance all throughout my life and well into adulthood without any kind of setbacks; my adventures were full of intrepid endeavors, unlikely developments, extraordinary feats achieved by ordinary fellows and friends, with romantic options open and explored, with sanitized downturns and dramatized tragedies, and ultimately a satisfying outcome and a succulent reward; would you prefer to hear that?"

"Yes, I would very much prefer to hear that."

"Then you're a blind little idiot, Ash. You're one of those wistful idiots who cannot accept that the truth is staring right at you, but you're so good at trying to ignore it that you've pretty much forgotten it's there. It's fine, believe me, it's all good. More power to you. Everything dies, and all we can do is distract ourselves to stop our minds from having that inevitability at the forefront of our consciousness. But, does that give you the right to get mad at me just for reminding you of it? Because honestly, you are dreaming. And because you're sleeping while the rest of us are awake, it's not a pleasant dream you're having, but, you know what, I want you to continue sleeping. I want you to continue dreaming that you can do whatever you want, whenever you want—the world is open and ready for you to change it for the better. It's all the same, whether you're asleep or awake, it doesn't make a tangible difference, seriously, therefore, sweet dreams."

"Not everything dies."

"Really, that's your takeaway? Alright, If so, please indulge me. Name one thing, one simple thing, any thing, that doesn't get to die. I'll wait. Oh, wait, I won't, because it's useless: everything dies. We're all living proof of that, ironically." By this point he had gotten overtly enthusiastic about his insufferable speech and was making all sorts of gestures with his arms and hands, in a very theatrical kind of way. Even so I didn't want to leave, I had either gotten genuinely interested in what he was saying, out of sheer curiosity, or I just had to voice my reservations because I was getting angry at him, and I needed him to hear me, and therefore I just couldn't leave. I couldn't. Anyway, he continued, quite passionately. "Let me give you a piece of advice, you should eat your berry while it is ripe, as soon it will rot, and it'll start stinking."

"What if I get another berry?" I asked, very quickly after he finished.

"What if you just get one and that's it?"

"What does that have to do with anything anyway? Humans aren't berries."

"So you refuse that premise. Fine. Keep acting like an unripe and immature child. Just know that not only will you wholly die, but you've already died numerous times. Millions of cells in your body, all of them programmed to die, have already done so, numerous times. Numerous you from the past have come into existence and perished unceremoniously."

"You just contradicted yourself there," I said, way too excited.

"How so?"

"If I have died, numerous times, how am I still here? Cells keep multiplying and being made anew."

"For now. Your body itself is programmed to die, and it will do so soon enough."

"So this is what you do? You just go around saving people from getting beat up with pokemon that aren't yours, and then you tell them depressing stuff about how they are unavoidably going to die?"

"My objective is not to depress but merely to inform."

"Well everything you say is still very depressing. I didn't need to hear this today, I've had a very stressful week… You know what… Screw berries, I want to be a tree. I'm a tree now. You're a berry, but I'm a tree. Deal with it."

"Care to elaborate?"

"Fine, um, what's your name?"

"Johnny."

"Right, listen Johnny. Berries might go bad some time after becoming ripe, but it doesn't matter, because trees will keep… um, making berries, which will keep becoming ripe. So there will always be a time when a berry is ripe. And yes, trees die, but they last much, much more than berries. And trees can not only create berries, they can also leave seeds so that more trees come alive, so that the cycle of ripeness can continue forever. So, I'm a tree."

"If that helps you, making the distinction between a berry and a tree, then good for you. Sure, accept that and have sweet dreams, you idiot."

"So what, everything dies, nothing matters, the end. That's what you're saying right now," I said very loudly. I'm pretty sure that at this point I was also waving my arms up and down, in the middle of the empty street.

"I never said that's the end of it. I feel insulted. Do you take me for one of those leather loving sentimentaloids with a penchant for public whining, who at their unripe age have just discovered the attention-seeking capabilities of an absurdist facade? Look at me! I have opened my eyes, and have tasted the abstract and elusive meaninglessness of life and all of its unending suffering, and I can describe it with original flair using a wide array of perfunctorily chosen six syllable words. Nah, nihilism is too simple."

"Right… Yeah, that's what I always say. But, if death isn't the end, then what's next huh? Answer me that." I was by then very tired and hungry again, but I just couldn't let it go. I just couldn't.

"Damned if I know," Johnny answered, cuttingly.

"Okay, that feels like a cop out," I said, and afterwards I became a bit more lucid, and noticed that my throat hurt.

"Of course you feel that way. What do you know other than being a stupid childish trainer?"

"Right… Listen, this was a very, interesting conversation, but, I kind of have to get out of here."

"Why in such a hurry?"

"The police is looking for me. I don't know exactly why, could be nothing, could be about the gang; I'm not sure. Do you know of any place near that I could crash for a bit?"

"What?"

"Do you know of any place where I can hide?"

"Why? Because I look like a hobo?"

"Well, you also smell like one. But no, I just, you helped me and, I just thought you might know of a place."

"You can just wait until it gets dark out and then you can pretty much hide anywhere. In any corner with which you may make due. But if what you seek is to avoid the police, somewhere they won't look for you, I might know just the place."

"I'm not keen on going to any seedy hotels though, or bars. I've had enough of those."

"For a helpless fugitive you're bloody picky aren't you. Regardless, I'm not talking about anything like that. But, the place I'm suggesting is rather dangerous, and the fact that the police won't go there also means you might not be welcome. Then again, looking at you, you might just fit right in."

"Okay, let's go."

"Are you serious? Do you expect me to take you all the way to the outskirts of the city?"

"Yes. Um, would you do it? Please."

"And what do I get if I do?"

"Huh, let's see. Well I don't have any money…"

"Cheerio."

"No, but wait, I can give you, this scarf." I took out the gray fancy scarf that Elesa had given me. Johnny grabbed it and inspected it for a bit.

"Do you take me for a pansy? Funny stuff people wear these days."

"I can also give you, this cap." I took off my leather cap and gave it to him. Right after that I took out my own cap from the satchel and put it on, because without a cap I feel naked and such. "It's pretty fancy stuff. Expensive too."

He inspected both the scarf and the cap for a long time, making long faces and getting the stuff pretty close to his eyes. It was very annoying, but in the end he agreed, and so we started walking west and towards the bridge. It was a long walk, and somewhere throughout I noticed his limp was rather pronounced, his left leg was obviously badly hurt, but Johnny ignored all of my protests about it. I didn't pay much attention to it though, because my hip hurt a lot too, and it got way worse as we went along, but I didn't care. And I thought Johnny felt the same way about his leg. Soon it got dark out, and we weren't even close to the outskirts.

"How did you get the bisharp to obey you?" I asked him.

"How do you get anyone to do anything?" He sounded rather uncomfortable. "Some things you just never forget."

"You were a trainer?"

"Yeah, I thought I'd told you already."

"I thought you were lying. But if it wasn't yours, then how did you do it?"

"When you do something for all your life, you can't help but get somewhat good at it. Even if it doesn't go anywhere."

"Ha! Good one!" I let out a genuine chuckle.

"What's so funny?"

"You can't be serious. It doesn't go anywhere, yeah right. That ability, that sort of experience, what else do you strive for?"

"So you get it, there's not much else, is there?"

"What? Okay Johnny, don't start again please. Words are nice and all, but some people are very good at using them to confuse people, and I'm not into that."

"I'm not trying to confuse you. I'm not trying to sadden you. I'm telling you what I've been telling you this whole time. Yes, all of this will end, all of us are going to die, humanity will stop existing as it has been so far, and it will become something else entirely. Of course I don't know what that something is, but how would you want me to know? How am I supposed to know what comes after? If I knew even a tiny little bit of what comes after, then it wouldn't be much different than what we have now. And if it happened to be just more of the same, then what a waste that would be. If it's really different, then I shouldn't know anything about it."

"I get it, so what you're saying is, we don't know into what species humans will evolve. What our next stage is."

"Sure, let's go with that. That's actually a good way of looking at it. You're not as stupid as I thought you were Ash."

"Thanks, although I'm pretty dumb too."

"Yeah, you are pretty stupid."

"How old are you Johnny?"

"How old do you think I am?"

"Forty five?"

"I'm twenty seven."

"Yeah right," I said. In hindsight, he was probably twenty seven. A very roughed up twenty seven year old. Really roughed up by life.

We crossed the bridge, in pain, and stepped into a deserted zone full of factories and empty streets. We crossed that zone, I thought we were heading that way, but we kept walking all the way to the outskirts of the outskirts, to a rather large park with some tents settled on it. When I got there, and started walking around on the grass, I realized Johnny had disappeared completely. He had suddenly left, and for a second there I thought I was completely alone. I wasn't. When I noticed he was gone, and I was in there by myself, I started moving very slowly, and tried not to make any noise, very cautiously, but, the thing is, I had already made a bunch of noise, and was right in the middle of what I thought was a hobo camp. Some lights were turned on, but none of them were close to me. I thought of running away fast, but before I could do it I heard a swing cutting the air, and then felt a very hard hit on my side. I went to the ground screaming, and heard somebody shouting at me not to get up. I stayed on the ground, on the grass, without moving for a while, and after a few seconds of complete silence I laid on my back and finally looked upwards. A bunch of kid trainers and their starter pokemon were staring at me from above, with angry and alert eyes, very serious, ready to strike me again. They were not very tall, in fact all of them were very short, they were all kids. So a part of me just wanted to laugh, I genuinely thought that situation was at least partially funny and only somewhat threatening, but I still showed them my open hands and moved as little as possible. My side hurt considerably after all.


	21. Chapter 21

"Who are you and why are you here?" One of the kids exclaimed.

I didn't respond, instead I let out an incredulous laugh, just one quick exhalation. The situation seemed too absurd not to laugh at, at least for me. It was already pretty dark out and I couldn't see their faces, just their alert eyes full of youth. I wasn't even sure which one of the four or five kids surrounding me had spoken.

"We asked you a question, answer!" one of them said, maybe the same one as before. And then the tepig suddenly to my right grunted angrily, showcasing all of its teeth.

"Take it easy kid," I said. "Does your mom know you're out this late?"

They didn't like that, one of them hit me on the elbow with a stick. It was either that, or the bulbasaur suddenly to my left using vine whip. Regardless, it hurt a lot, albeit only superficially.

"Hey! Show me some respect! I'm your elder."

They didn't like that either, got me again, on my forearm.

"Ah! What's the point of getting older if nothing's going to change for me?"

"Why are you asking us? We don't care! You're the old one. Now answer the question. Who are you and why are you here?"

"I'm Ash Ketchum, I'm from Pallet Town, and I need a place to hide from the cops, just for a bit."

"Why, what did you do? Are you an ally for the cause?"

"The cause, what cause? You're kids, you all have a cause now? What are you doing taking the park away from the hobos? They need a place to sleep too."

"Shut up. Let me think."

"Think about what?" I said, rather insolently. "You don't have to think about anything, you're kids, seriously. When I was your age I wasn't this violent."

"I told you to shut up. Obey or I'm hitting you again."

"Hold on, he just asked us about the cause. If we're moving forward with it, and we are, then we need a name for it," said another one.

"Also, Jerry, you're being too aggressive. It's not the message that we're trying to convey, or at least not in this particular way," said yet another one.

"You just told him my name idiot! What are you doing?" Said, I assume, Jerry.

"That's besides the point. You should remember what Todd K said."

"Who's Ted K?" I opened my mouth again. Immediately afterwards I received another vine whip to the face. It was superficial pain, just like with the previous hits, but that last one seemed like enough for me, at least for that day. And yet, "I told you my name," I whispered, quasi-defiantly. And then I covered my face with my hands, expecting another hit, which didn't reach my skin that time.

"Shut up, Ash!"

"Also, it's Todd K, not Ted K. And Todd K doesn't hide, and neither do any of us."

"Oh yeah? Then why don't you tell him your name, Chenford?" One of them challenged another one.

"It seems you already did, Jerry," said, I assume, Chenford.

"Alright, that's enough from the two of you, let's be smart."

"You're right Brevin, I'm sorry."

"Wait! Don't tell him my name!" said, I assume, Brevin.

"No, it's okay Brevin, as Chenford said, Todd K doesn't hide, in fact it would defeat the purpose of what we're doing entirely."

"Guys, please don't hit me again," I said, from the ground. "But, who's Ted K? I mean, Todd K, sorry."

"Don't worry, you'll find out soon enough, no, right now actually."

Right after he said that the three of them grabbed my arms and started dragging me across the dirt. I was able to feel sharp rocks as well as blunt ones, varied shrubbery and soft ground, warm and tender, on my back. Also, they were pulling my arms rather hard. The kids had a lot of strength, I have to admit, and they moved very quickly.

They had already dragged me for a good distance before I could protest. But I did it.

"Hey, I can walk! And you're ruining my jacket, which I just got by the way."

"Uh-uh, no way Ash. If we let you go you'll run away or call your pokemon out."

"I don't have any pokemon with me."

"Ha! Of course, we believe you. Not! Not only would that be a very stupid thing to do, walk around with no pokemon at this hour, but also, how could we even be sure you're telling the truth?"

"You can check if you want."

"No way, I'm not touching you. What if a needle in you prickles me or something?"

"Why would I have a needle? Why does everybody distrust me so much?"

"Well you are wanted by the cops."

"Shut up Chenford."

"I'm Brevin."

"Whatever," I said. And then I pulled my arms towards me, in an attempt to get them off of me. I had to swing them a few times actually, rather forcefully, but I managed to release myself from the kids, and then I stood up.

"I can walk," I then said, and then defended myself from another vine whip with my shoulder and elbow. "Where am I going to run? It's the middle of the night! Besides, You got me very curious and now I want to meet this Ted, I mean Todd K you're talking about."

"Okay fine," one of them said.

"Which one are you?"

"It's Brevin again."

"Right. Thank you Brevin. Thank you for having the decency to let me stand up and walk, like a person. Now, where's Todd K?"

"It's not a big deal, he's just a guy," Brevin continued. "I mean, he's a very smart guy, and has a lot of initiative, firm beliefs, and the willpower to carry them out, and he also has a great, revolutionary idea that's going to change everything. But he's just a guy. I mean, on the past, people who were considered just regular guys had pretty good ideas that changed lives, perhaps the future itself, during their time, but they were otherwise just regular guys."

The kids continued talking as we walked through the park, and they told one another to shut up a couple of times as they discussed Todd K, whom I was dying to meet by then. That's sort of a problem for me actually, and I don't know if it's better or worse now that I've been able to identify it as a problem. Once I get a thought stuck at the forefront of my brain, I simply cannot think of anything else, and I know that's pretty normal, and I'm not saying it's different with me, but, here's the thing, it's almost painful, every time I cannot let a thought go without seeing it arrive at a satisfying conclusion. Anyway, in the middle of the park, among all of the smaller tents there was a bigger one, taller and wider than the rest of them. It was like a settlement, however all of the tents were dispersed among a very wide area, so all of them were placed rather far from each other. And there were in fact some hobos around, so it was nice to know that they hadn't kicked them out of the park. I had visited hobo camps before, and this park on the more decrepit side of west Castelia was basically the perfect location for one, among all of the factories and the run-down suburbs near the shore. So me and the kids went into the bigger tent, which was lit by a torch placed upon a wooden stick, buried right on the middle of the, of the room, I guess. Inside there was a lean man, who was sort of dressed like a hobo, but it was more in style than anything else. Because he was wearing black finger-less gloves, old looking but otherwise unspoiled, worn-out black boots of good quality, and a loose denim shirt with a big blue scarf underneath it, a combination stereotypical of a pragmatic hobo during the winter. Furthermore, because I've already started describing this guy, whom I thought, when I saw him sitting on a small log inside the tent, was presumably Ted, I mean Todd K—and I was right—I just feel like I need to finish describing his outfit. He was wearing brown pants, kind of old looking too, added to what I've already mentioned, but other than that he wasn't wearing anything else. He was eating some seeds which he kept on the palm of his hand, very meticulously. When we got relatively near him he turned to us, and stared at me with his blank black eyes, which were somehow just as penetrating as the eyes of any woman I'd ever clashed eyes with before, even Lorelei's. His eyes were very disarming, and the feeling I got from staring at them stayed with me for some time afterwards. Anyway, he had an abundant beard, not that long but certainly not short, which was gray in the middle, brown on the sides. And his hair was also starting to go gray.

"This is Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town," said, I think, Jerry.

"Pallet Town, where is that?" Todd K asked.

"On Kanto," I replied, rather casually. I don't know why, but I sort of liked the vibe that the place gave off, sort of rustic, and wild.

"I have been to Kanto once. Is Celadon still as green as I remember?"

"Green?" I asked, kind of confused. "I don't know about green. There's a casino there."

"A casino?"

"Yes, it's been there for quite a long time. Since before I was born actually. How old are you?"

"I told you. I told you, didn't I? They are never going to stop. The longer we wait to take them down, the more painful and disastrous the repercussions will be."

Todd K ignored my question, and by the time he had finished talking I wanted to ask him something else entirely. I went for it, seeing as no one was beating me with a stick, or with a whip.

"Who do you want to take down?"

"We'll get to that," he replied, "but first, what do you want with us?"

"I need a place to hide for a little bit."

"Hide from what?"

"The cops," Jerry answered for me.

"Why?"

"I'm not entirely sure."

"Yeah right."

"I promise. I broke a window, from a pokemon center actually. Before that I had a fight with a friend of mine inside it. Also, there was some stuff going on in a hotel I was staying, and I went to the police but they didn't care, so it might be that. That they didn't want me to snitch I mean. I did some stuff with a girl on top of a fire escape, but at least I knew her, and it wasn't like a lot of stuff I mean it was a fire escape. I also stole some candy bars, although I got beat up for it, and I'd gotten beat up a few times before that, and also after. I sneaked into a nightclub and danced with a girl, I guess she was a woman. Her name's Ashley. And, and…"

"Why did you break a window at the pokemon center?" Chenford asked, very enthusiastically. All of the sudden everyone but Todd K seemed very happy. He, for his part, seemed to be taking my words with more caution, although I could tell he was sort of interested in what I was saying.

"I, I was angry," I said.

"He's one of us," Brevin said. He basically shouted it.

"Who told you to do that?" Todd K asked me.

"Me? Something deep inside me I guess."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I don't know, I just had to do it."

"Son of a biscuit, he's one of us," Jerry said.

"What do you mean by that? I'm not going to lie, I'm very confused right now," I said, and then I looked at Todd K, and kept staring at him.

He was entranced in a thoughtful state, looking at the ground without blinking, and he stayed like that for a good number of seconds, in the double digit area for sure. Then he finally blinked, then exhaled quite intensely, stood up, and approached me until he had me right in front of him. He was not very big, nor very tall, but he sure was intimidating. There was something about him that I couldn't explain, I still can't. At the same time he seemed very interesting to me, and even though I did get anxious when he walked up to me, I also knew everything would be okay somehow, because at the same time he didn't seem threatening at all.

"Do you love nature Ash?" He asked me in a very sincere way, I could tell. And yet somehow he still seemed rather cold. Maybe it was his voice, it was kind of robotic.

"Of course I love nature," I answered. "Who doesn't?"

"A lot of people actually. In fact, a lot of people claim to love nature, but they have no idea of what that actually means. I mean the wildest, purest, most feral kind of nature. By asking you this, I certainly don't mean gazing at a beautiful landscape, and of course not at a picture of it. Don't get me wrong, gazing at a beautiful landscape while standing among the natural green is quite a majestic sight, perhaps the best sight of all."

"I agree," I said.

"Are you sure? I have found that you can't really love nature if you take part in activities that harm it. You have to choose."

"Yeah, of course. I'm not joking. I love the outdoors and I'm not just saying that. I have lived a very good part of my life, the best part of my life actually, in the open air. If that's what you mean by one of us, then I'm definitely one of you."

"It's not. It's not about nature being good, it's about modern society being bad. Civilization, is the enemy of nature. Civilization, is our enemy, of all of us, whether we realize it or not. Here we know that's the case, and we're going to do something about it."

"Is this a cult?"

"Absolutely not."

"Because it sounds like a cult."

"I understand. Let me tell you what we really sound like," Todd K said. Then he went to grab his log and moved it closer to us. Meanwhile the three kids, plus another one that one that went in, sat on the ground facing Todd K, and afterwards I did the same, and we proceeded to listen attentively.

"Good," said Jerry, "because I don't remember what we're doing exactly. Another explanation would be nice."

"And you were being so aggressive with Ash back there Jerry, without knowing what you were doing. Shame on you."

"Come on Brevin, give me a break."

"Brevin is right," Todd K said. "We don't want people like that in our group. Let me emphasize, I don't have anyone here who doesn't want to be here. If you're here it is because you care, because you care to learn exactly what we're doing and why we're doing it. If you're here it is because you care about what we do. The smaller the group, the better. That is always the case. Every single member must have, not only our objective completely clear, but must be thoroughly dedicated to carry it out in the best way possible. A large group cannot be successfully controlled. It has a higher probability of becoming fragmented and infected with hollow ideologies. Weak people looking for a large group to inject with their ideals will disrupt our flow and make us forget about our objective. We must also avoid people who seek to profit from our objective in any way."

"Come on then, what is the cause?" I asked, very exasperated.

Todd K took a beat, stared at me blankly, and said, he said, "Break down modern society, destroy our civilization as we know it."

I let out a mechanized laugh, just one exhalation, and then I stood up.

"Are you serious? Wait, no, I thought you were serious. You were saying all of that stuff about nature being the best thing ever, and honestly, I was feeling the vibes that you were sending to me, I was agreeing with everything you said. Until that last thing. Seriously, how old are you?"

"Tamed people need to depict the enemy of civilization as crazy, to delegitimize valid complaints against civilization."

"I don't think you're crazy. I think, I think… Well, I kind of think you're crazy, but I also think you're being childish. And that's coming from me. So that should tell you, you all are childish for doing this."

"Nature as we know it will disappear Ash. It's already disappeared as we should know it. Civilized people have done it, and they will continue destroying it, and themselves with it."

"So you're environmentalists?"

"Yes, technically, but our objective goes well beyond that. We do not focus on saving the environment in particular. That is a well-known aspect of the danger of a civilized society, so we need not speak of it any longer. No, the problem is civilized society itself. Civilized society takes the power away from people. We have an inherent need for power, we need to have autonomy over our lives. Sadly we have already lost most of our autonomy, most of our freedom, and if we don't stop the problem at once, we will end up losing all of it. That's the problem, that's where civilized society is leading us. You don't believe me, do you? You don't care. Look at what people are doing these days, look at what they are saying everywhere; look at the way they are spending their time, and tell me that there's not a sense of powerlessness pervading our current existence. We can feel how what is controlling us is draining us dry, everyone can feel it, but people are just too distracted to see. And yet, it is still killing them, it gives them depression, anxiety, disaffection, low self-esteem, behavioral disorders, disillusionment, hostility and alienation from one another. Only by destroying society can we achieve the freedom that we need to satisfy that need for power in a real way. Just think about it, just take a second to think about it, please. Every effort we make is not really for ourselves, we need to make huge efforts, but never for ourselves, only for civilized society itself, it controls us. All we can do is distract ourselves from our confinement, and try to satisfy our need for control over our lives in any way we can. But we really can't satisfy it, not in a civilized society. Think, when have you done something that has been absolutely, entirely of your choosing? It's impossible, civilized society must be destroyed. And how do we do this? We, as a group, spread our message, make the stress and discomfort brought about by civilization much more evident, and then get rid of it completely. It will die on its own, believe me, it has already laid the foundations of its own demise. But the longer we wait, the harder it will be. As I said, we must keep a small group of people, and every single, dedicated member of said group must have our objective clear. We must not create a hollow ideology with which weak people might identify. We must not create a large organization or a mass movement to which weak people can run to to feel powerful. We must instead, on our own, destroy society, to grant all of them the opportunity to harness that power for themselves. We are trying to take that freedom back, perhaps we have obtained that freedom for ourselves, a small part of it, for our small group, but we must not be blind enough to use our power to sustain a large organization, and therefore society itself. But make no mistake, as it stands now, we have no power. If civilized society didn't exist, there would be no distractions to hide the harm is doing to us, which will only get worse, and all we would be able to do is to satisfy our biological needs and survive. That's the only way we'll be able to obtain real power and freedom."

Dumbfounded, I turned to the kids, who were all still sitting down, listening attentively with resolute eyes.

"And you believe all of this?"

"We don't believe, we know," Chenford said decisively.

"Oh, give me a break! Did he told you to say that?"

"No, I came up with that myself."

"We're in desperate need of a change of cataclysmic proportions," Jerry added. "Look at how we are now, our lives are utter filth."

"Come on guys, just go get some badges, travel with friends. You're too young to be thinking like this."

"You keep saying that. We're old enough to understand that what is going on, is wrong, and harmful, and it needs to change, now."

"Well, I'm not going to stand here and watch you get brainwashed with this."

"Are you serious? You're pulling that on us?"

"Yes."

"We're the ones that are outside, we can see both sides from here, we're free to go, nobody is telling us to do anything. Most of the time we're quiet, we deliberate, we debate, with complete honesty. From where we are standing, you're the ones that are brainwashed. Well, maybe not you personally, Ash, but the rest of the civilized people. Of course they are brainwashed, they have been hearing the same stuff all of their life, and have never taken the time to listen to something else for a change. Why would they want to change? Some people don't mind being led, and restricted. Why would they want to get out of a comfortably terrible situation? Also, you're not going anywhere Ash."

"Let him go," Todd K interjected. "He's being chased by the police already, who's he going to tell? But, even if you go Ash, just remember this. The amount of control we have over our lives is already very limited. Civilized society has already done significant damage to it, just get out and look around, you'll see signs, red lights, cameras everywhere, burdens of the modern man, shackled by a beast of its own devising. And, here's the kicker, our control will only decrease with time, and a point will be reached when humans will be completely manufactured products with no freedom whatsoever. Signs of where we are heading are clearly visible now, neuronal modulating medication, genetic engineering. How could civilized people resist any sort of technology that gives out the illusion of making their lives better, easier? How could they resist the money that they will unavoidably end up making from this? Even if it restricts their choices, people will always go with the more comfortable and easier alternative. The one that makes them the most money and gives them the clearest illusion of control over the masses."

I'll admit, that last bit made me quite nervous. But, I still felt like I was sound enough to understand, that, to a regular person—or as he said, to a brainwashed person, which is a very good way to discredit a person, regardless of what they believe—what they were saying seemed crazy.

"Even if that's true," I said. "What are you actually planning to do?"

"We're going to destroy pokemon centers, pokemarts, pokemon gyms, all of them. All for the sake of spreading our message across all of the world…"

"Across the world! So this is a world thing now?"

"Yes," Todd K continued undeterred, "it must be, because if a change is going to happen, it has to happen all at once, a big change, all at once. No chance for small changes happening over time. And even with our approach, we still need a good dose of spontaneous trends favoring a total breakdown, but don't worry, as I said, it already started crumbling. Still, what we need is nothing short of a revolution, something that inspires people enough to fully get rid of civilization."

My head started spinning, and it already hurt quite a bit. I turned to the kids again. I instinctively started thinking about ways to stop them. I came up with nothing. Nothing at all.

"And you're all on board with this?"

"Yes," they said in unison. Suddenly there were a few more of them inside the tent. I must admit, they already had their thing going, and were rather well organized.

"Even you Jerry?"

"Of course, one hundred percent."

Then I turned to Todd K, who looked just as resolute, just as endearingly childish, as the rest of them.

"Why kids?"

"Nobody else could care like them. Would you have cared about saving the world when you were their age?"

"Of course I would've."

"So, are you in?"

"Of course not."

They were all disappointed, even Todd K. I'll admit, a small part of me thought about joining almost immediately, and another part, perhaps the biggest one, was currently having an arduous mental duel with itself—with its more seemingly rational part, I mean, which I forced to be at the front of me.

"But would you at least think about it?" one of the kids said.

"Of course I will think about it, I can't not think about all the stuff you said to me."

"He's in."

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are, you know I'm right, because I'm right, and you know it."

"What?"


	22. Chapter 22

Archie was in there too, in the tent, with Todd K and his group of kid eco-terrorists. Okay, that's not really fair to them. I'll admit, it took me no time to sympathize with them, to an extent. They were not really eco-terrorists, they weren't nihilists. They didn't seem to hate people. They were determined, and knew exactly what they were after, and they absolutely thought it was for the sake of humanity's salvation. I was not sure what it actually meant, I'll admit that. Nevertheless, they were, at the very least, a bit dangerous, and at most, very dangerous. I had no idea as to what I should do, and I did think a lot about just walking away, from it all. I knew I'd be able to just leave, they didn't really care about me, or at the very least, they didn't see me as a threat to their plans at all. I also have to admit, I felt comfortable with them, with everything about them. I cared not for what they were saying, but for them.

It was easy for me to stay, I knew I had to stay, if only not to feel so lonely. I had nowhere to go, and all I could think about then, was that a change sure seemed nice. And the bigger the change, the better. At least that's what I thought, right about then, when very suddenly all I cared about was that they were going to do something and I didn't want to leave.

It was the early morning by then. I had slept on the ground inside the bigger tent, and I remember it was the nicest sleep I had gotten in a long time. When I woke up and remembered where I was, I thought about how awesome it would be if I could sleep on the ground inside a big tent for the rest of my life, and all I could think of was that it would be very awesome. Whilst on the ground, wide awake, I made some reflections. As far as I understood, it was my sixth day in Castelia, and it was almost unbelievable to me that only six days had passed since I got off the plane. Of course, that was only because I had stopped traveling, and therefore I wasn't used to meeting so many people in so many places within a very short window of time, not anymore. When I was traveling, when I was a kid, that was my regular life, and I guess as a washed out drifter, it had become the same again, in a way.

When I opened my eyes I realized Todd K was staring at me. I sat on the ground and cleaned my eyes, and then he handed me an oran berry, which I devoured like a madman only a second later. I would've restrained myself if it had been somebody else, but as it was Todd K, I didn't. He was eating seeds again, I asked him what those were and he just said seeds, and afterwards we stared at each other in silence for quite a while. Then we broke eye contact, but the silence continued for a few seconds more, until he reached his open palm full of seeds to me and I took some of them, and then said thank you. The seeds were bitter.

"Do you really believe in all of that stuff?" I asked him. We were the only ones in the tent. Right after I asked that Todd K shot me a very stern look full of stoic anger and incredulity. At the same time there was an endearing warm to it, even though he looked insane.

"I have spent more than thirty years developing this plan," he said, "this is my life's work, and I have the evidence to back it up."

"Alright, sorry."

"Fine, I don't care."

"I was just apologizing."

"If civilized society had never been invented there would be no frustration, not a single bad quality generated by it."

"How did you came up with all of that stuff?"

"I just took a moment to ponder about life, left my eyes open for a few minutes, and realized that what I was doing with my life was completely wrong. I went into the woods to live a quiet life in tune with nature, and then realized it was impossible to maintain, as civilized people would come and tear it apart every once in a while, massive piece by massive piece."

"What did you do before you realized you were completely wrong?"

"I was a pokemon professor."

"What? No way! Wait, so you have read a lot, haven't you?"

"Of course I have, I had to."

"Must have been difficult."

"Not at all, that was the easy part. I skipped a lot of grades, both as a child and with my higher education."

"So what was the hard part?"

"Everything else."

"And you're so sure this is necessary?"

"Absolutely. Civilized society must be completely eradicated and people and pokemon must return to their natural state, where they have power and freedom. It will be painful, but the degree of pain we will suffer will only increase as we move along without changing anything, so it's best to do it now."

"These days nobody cares about having fun, it's all about winning. Nobody cares."

"Try to understand the masses Ash, they have no choice but to try and distract themselves from the fact that they are powerless against any change that gets imposed on them by society. How do you not want them to seek any power however they can? Do you think all these people who call themselves champions, distinguished members of the elite 4, or gym leaders, would actually survive by themselves in the middle of feral nature? Of course not. An untrained psyduck would have a higher chance of surviving in the wild. Speaking of which, do you think a psyduck's ability to confuse any pokemon it perceives as a threat, was conceived so that it could defeat a tamed, cripplingly overspecialized opponent within a fully controlled environment on an air-conditioned room, all the while spectators eat snacks and divert themselves from the sidelines? No, its ability was conceived so that it could survive an attack on its life. That's what the psyduck ought to be doing. That's what a free psyduck ought to be doing. What choices do they leave us? What choices will they leave us with in the future? Have you ever stopped to think about why people do what they do?"

"Once or twice really. I'm only sixteen. Not long ago I had no time for any of these abstract matters."

"Let's see how you deal with this, or rather, what you get out of it. Imagine a man. No, imagine a hero. No, imagine a man who wants to be a hero.

"Me a few months ago?"

"No, I mean yeah sure, but in this case it has to be a nondescript man who seeks to be a hero. A man trains, a man grows strong. A man saves a village from a pack of mightyena. A man finally becomes a hero. With time, more people arrive to the village, it becomes a city and then the capital of a country. A hero becomes the leader of a country. His objective was to become a hero, not to learn how to lead a

country to peace and prosperity. His people accept him and live subserviently under his rule. He still doesn't know how to lead a country. His theories, laws and decrees, serve only to satisfy HIS desire to be a hero, not to make the people's lives better. Now, apply that to anything, what do you get? You get people doing what they think is right, and what they think is right, is really what they want. That's how civilized society was made. It's not the best, is what they think is the best for humanity, and what they think is the best is in reality what they want. What everyone really wants is to be safe, to have power, to be heard. You can't get any of that with the way things are now. If we tried to tell people about this any other way, no one would hear us, no one would care. They are too busy doing whatever they want, mind you, whilst they think what they are doing is the rightful as well as the best thing they could be doing. Just think about it, think about it for a second. Why do people cling to so many ideals? Why do people care about their heritage, about the cause they've chosen to champion, about their specific groups? Because they are powerless, and they want to feel powerful Ash. They need to gather in groups and hold on to something, anything, simply to avoid feeling like they will be destroyed. They all want to be heroes, but they can't. And the best they can hope for these days is to attach themselves to a group, compete in officially sanctioned tournaments, to try and ignore the truth: Their freedom, their true freedom, has been taken away. And we're going to take it back."

"I've already decided to join you guys."

Todd K turned to me very suddenly, with his eyes wide open, and then he quickly looked away.

"Do you mean it?"

"I do." And I did mean it, then. "Although I'm not sure I fit the profile of the kind of people you're looking for."

"All we need is people who care. In reality, we need to be heard by everyone in order for our plan to work, but at this stage, when we have just started, we need only the most dedicated people we can find, to make sure the preparations are done perfectly."

"So, how do we start?"

"We've already started. I think there's still time for you to join the group."

We went outside and found a bunch of kid trainers preparing themselves. It was a bittersweet moment, but mostly unpleasant. For all of them, it looked like it was the very first day of their journey; putting on running shoes, grooming their pokemon—as if for a contest—and covering their heads with fashionable, waterproof gear; all of this under the warm morning sun, which showcased beautifully the green open air. They unzipped their colorful backpacks and put their pokeballs inside them.

"Remember," Todd K said. "We must only use tools and gadgets devised by society in a very small scale, and only if it helps the cause. After society has been destroyed, we will abandon the use of any kind of technology altogether. Because, think about it, it would be like like a doctor getting rid of a sickness by using the source of infection, which would be a very stupid and useless thing to do. By that I mean we'll stop using pokeballs."

There was a collective, loud moment where everybody understood what Todd K said. I had nothing to say, and nobody else was saying anything—at least not directed at me. The kids were talking among themselves, as they joyfully prepared for their mission, all the while Todd K stared at them stoically, but with an innocent delight pouring out of his cold black eyes, as he stood next to me.

"We're going to the pokemart now," Brevin said loudly to Todd K.

"Affirmative," he replied. "You should go with them Ash," he then said, just for me.

"Are you sure? I don't know what they are doing."

"You seem like a guy who prefers to learn by activism. Just do whatever Brevin does, and stay right behind him at all times, especially as he walks or runs."

"And why aren't you going?"

Todd K lowered his head, he seemed uncomfortable.

"I don't know if what I'm trying to say would inspire a lot of people if it came from me," he said. "If I were with them they would dismiss us even more quickly."

"Okay. Then yes, I will go with them," I said. I was not entirely sure of what they would actually do, but for some reason, and even though I didn't have any pokemon with me or knew of a way to help, I still thought I needed to be there with them, to make sure they were safe. And that was mainly my mentality when I joined them, because they were very keen on instigating change through dangerous methods, and they wouldn't stop, but who was protecting them, you know? Me, who had no pokemon. So we walked out of the park and away from the zone in formation. Brevin at the front, Chenford right behind him, a squadron of unidentified trainers, dressed cool and smiling, behind them, Maggie behind those kids and in front of me, me behind her, and behind me, Archie. We crossed the bridge, they were going to do something, and yet nobody paid any attention to us. If anybody, and I do mean anybody, anyway, if anybody saw us, I knew the kids would protect me, and not the other way around, as I would've preferred. As such, I actually felt awesome.

"So what happened to you?" I asked Archie behind me. "I told you to go to Burgh's gym, I thought you'd listen to me. You said that's what you would do. I thought you were traveling through Unova with your friends."

"I was," he replied nonchalantly.

"And now you're on your way to destroy a pokemart?"

"No."

"Yes you are."

"We're not going to fully destroy it, just make sure it becomes permanently nonoperational."

"And how're you going to do that?"

"I guess by destroying it."

"You lied to me."

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did. You told me you wanted to compete in the Unova League. It would've been your second official competition."

"Is that exactly what I said though? Anyway it doesn't matter, because that's what I'll do later, but now this is more important. I'll compete in the Unova League once Civilized Society is destroyed."

"Are you serious? Once you destroy it there will be no more Unova League, didn't you listen to what Todd K said?"

"Oh yeah. Well, I don't know, I'll think of something else to do. I'll have real freedom then. Man, think of the possibilities."

"Archie, it seems like you aren't entirely sure of your objective."

"Of course I am, I've read it ten times."

"Read what?"

"Here, you don't even have pokemon so it's better if you carry these," Archie said. Then he unzipped his backpack and produced a thick stack of papers which he then handed to me. I quickly skimmed through the first page and recognized some of the stuff that Todd K had already told me; and that's when I realized that was what they meant when they said they'd spread their message.

"You can even read it during the trip, but don't get distracted," Archie said.

I tried to read it, but I couldn't because I got bored pretty quickly. And I figured that I had already heard that stuff first hand, from the guy who wrote it. Still, I made it seem like I read it as we walked downtown, to one of the pokemarts I had already visited during that past week. I was sweating and out of breath when we arrived, meanwhile the kids looked the same as before, when we left the park. I envied them in a good way, if that's possible. I still wanted them to be happy and to obtain everything they ever wanted. At the same time, I thought these kids were really greedy; they wanted too much.

First, the kids grabbed individual pages from the stack and then started nailing them to every post near the pokemart. I just held the papers and handed some to them as they needed. Then, when that was done—and let me just add that nobody, literally nobody cared about us or paid any attention to us while we were doing that—the kids called their starter pokemon out. There was a tepig, a charmander, a fennekin, a skiddo, and a few more tepig. Then, when we got in front of the pokemart, they told me to wait outside. And then it happened. Maggie went into the store with her skiddo. Both of them looked like they were walking into a battlezone, their eyes and postures as they moved were genuinely frightening, partially because she was only eleven and her pokemon was probably just as young, but also because it was clear that she wasn't messing around. Through the glass at the front of the store I was able to see clearly how she walked right to the center of the place, she settled herself and took a deep breath, then ordered her skiddo, rather loudly and decisively, to use grassy terrain. Her pokemon was just as resolute as her. After releasing a high-pitched battle-cry, which didn't sound appropriate for a pokemon of its size, although I guess skiddos aren't that big, anyway, it filled the whole place, literally the whole place with grass. Seconds later Maggie and Skiddo ran outside, and the rest of the kids wasted no time to go in, with each of their pokemon adamantly running along with them. I tried to reach one of them with my hand but I didn't manage to touch his shoulder. It was one of the ones whose names I didn't know. Thankfully Maggie didn't see me, and I did manage to stop myself from shouting at them to stop. However, I did whisper, just to myself, "No," as they disappeared into the store, while hyperventilating and sweating a lot. Seconds later they torched the place, the windows broke all at once, flames came out, and I thought everything was over, just in general. All the patrons came out rather unscathed through the door, I made sure of that as best as I could. There were only three of them. The kids also opened all the doors while they were in there, and no one came out, no one was there, but the fire did spread all over the place. Then the kid trainers came out, and so did their pokemon behind them, and they told me to drop the pages on the ground. I just released them from my shaking hands, and it all fell to the ground; it only made me more anxious. Then, as we readied ourselves to escape, the owner of the store came out. I could tell he was the owner because he was angry for what they, for what we, had done to his store. No regular attendant would've cared about getting angry at that point. He grunted angrily while sporting insane eyes and then managed to grab Archie by the shoulder, noticeably intending to punch him in the face very hard. Before he could do that all the fire pokemon surrounded him and growled very loud, each producing a little flame right in front of their mouth, at which point Brevin shouted, "No unnecessary deaths," and then skiddo tackled the successfully scared owner as soon as he released Archie. I was shocked, sweating profusely; but it was all cold sweat, the absolute worst kind of sweat, running down my back. It didn't end there. Maggie knelt down besides the owner, twisted his arm and put him in an arm lock; I'll admit, that part was awesome and it looked really cool. Afterwards Archie and another guy tied the owner up and put him on the skiddo's back, and then we ran away. We separated into groups, Chenford and a group of kids went south, some kids whose names I didn't learn went north, and me, Archie, Maggie, Brevin and the owner on the skiddo went west.

During our escape, we passed by a couple of guys wearing white formal suits, with their shirts mostly unbuttoned, obviously without ties. They had very cool haircuts and both were wearing sunglasses. We passed right next to them on the sidewalk, and stared at them quietly as they stared back at us. Nobody said anything, they just looked at us in a very cool but also snobby way that made me feel bad about myself. I looked at the owner during this strange moment, he had his mouth open and from his expression it seemed like he wanted to say something; he probably wanted to ask for help, but he also seemed confused and hesitant, maybe because of the whole strangeness of the moment, or because he didn't want those two guys in particular to help him. So he said nothing.

The trip back was mostly easy. Nobody cared for a group of short kid trainers and a weird guy, taller than the kids but short overall, carrying a slightly overweight middle aged man on top of a skiddo, with his hands and feet tied, on the sidewalk. If I hadn't known about Todd K and his group of trainers, I certainly wouldn't have cared if I had seen them walking around. Instead, if the chubby man they were carrying on their skiddo started shouting bad things at them, I would've just thought that he deserved everything that was happening to him, and that the kid trainers were right with whatever they were doing. I guess that's how Todd K saw it, I have to admit, he's a very smart man. Anyway, at some point the owner finally understood exactly what was happening to him, and he got rather mad.

"What do you think you're doing kids! Are you crazy? You'll pay for this! You'll literally pay for this all of you! I guarantee your parents will not spare discipline! I'll spank you myself! After them! We'll take turns! I swear, you'll literally pay for this!" is some of what the owner said during our furtive trip back to the camp.

"We're giving you your freedom back," I said to him after a while. I barely believed it, and said it more in an ironic way.

"What?" the owner said, pretty much with a defeated sigh. "You're crazy, you're stupid and you're crazy, you're so stupid, idiots!"

"Hey! I can be many things, but I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't care for, care for, this," I continued. "Just think about it for a second sir, how we live now, the limited choices we have. Just think about giving it a chance for a second, don't you want to know what real freedom tastes like?"

"Oh, grow up," he said, with a rather sad inflection, which really got to me. The naked honesty genuinely unnerved me, my throat suddenly got sore.

"How?" I asked.

"What?"

"How do I grow up?"

"I don't know," he replied, exasperated.

Brevin took us through catwalks, discreet passages and alleyways, all through the city. I almost ruined the mission when I refused to go through a particularly dark alleyway. It was still early in the morning, and yet the alleyway looked really dark, go figure. Luckily they indulged me and we found another alleyway that was more agreeable to me, although I still got nervous crossing it. When we reached the camp the rest of the kid trainers were already there, they made fun of us for being late and my group threw me under the bus. I guess I deserved it. They were all very happy and excited, the mission had been a success. They tied the owner to a lamppost right in the middle of the park, but at least they gave him a small log to sit on, and he had a nice shade covering him from the sun, but otherwise they didn't care about his presence, nor about the fact that they had basically kidnapped him. I for one was not happy, to say the least.

The situation worsened for me when I walked to the middle of the park, where everyone was cheering and dancing weirdly, in full celebratory mode. The kids and Todd K had their hands raised, and were sort of flowing with the wind, perhaps with nature itself. It was a bizarre sight, they sure looked like wacky environmentalists. And it got a hundred times more bizarre when right in the middle of my field of vision I noticed none other than Iris, dancing weirdly with them. At first I didn't believe it was her, kept starting, at the same time I thought it was impossible that it was her. But it was her, it was Iris, and I just assumed she had joined the group at some point. I walked up to her very decisively, grabbed her arm and pulled her aside.

"What are you doing here?" I asked her. In hindsight, I recognize I did pull her rather hard, and spoke to her very aggressively. In hindsight, it was not that different from the way she treated me, physically, I mean, although I still feel horrible about it, in hindsight.

"Ash! What a surprise! Although I guess I shouldn't be that surprised, what are you doing here?" Iris said, nonchalantly and upbeat, and a bit agitated from the dancing.

"There's no time for that. What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm helping the cause."

"What cause? Iris! Of course you're here, I should've known I'd find you out of all people here."

"What? We need to destroy Civilized Society before it destroys us. Did you know that a thousand years ago there were more dragons than people? Now look at the world. Seriously, society is poison."

"Society is poison? What does that even mean? Iris, you just can't… Seriously." I was genuinely struggling to speak, just from how frustrated and incensed I was. "If you don't like what we have now, then, then you should go back to your secluded dragon village, untouched by modern society, and stay there. Society is poison? A couple of people, literally just two people, that's a society. What are you going to do, stay away from everyone? They think to make a fire, that's a civilized thought, are you going to go against that, seriously? People who go against society are actually an integral part of society. Who else is going to buy survival kits? Who's going to buy jeeps? Or ridiculously expensive knives? That sort of bottle that makes your pee drinkable? Newsflash, you could technically drink your pee as it is, provided you're healthy, and nothing would happen to you; if there was ever a valid reason to drink your pee, other than massive dehydration, that is. People who oppose society, even as an example, they are necessary for society. They even have a symbol for people who go against civilized society, you can buy hats and backpacks stamped with it in stores. And think of who goes against society, who retreats into nature, they are all deeply miserable people filled with resentment who have nothing to eat, no one to look good for, and have to literally search for food, any food, every single day. If they don't catch anything, they don't eat."

By the time I had finished my rant everyone was staring at me silently, and none of them were happy anymore. I got very nervous all of the sudden, but in a second it all went away, and I got angry again. I went for Todd K, I got right in front of him. His cold, blank stare was only that, I couldn't discern anything from it.

"What do you mean by necessary deaths?" I asked him.

"What?" he replied.

"The kid said necessary deaths. What do you mean by that?"

"How else do you expect them to listen to us? I have been talking about this for more than thirty years, nobody has cared, nobody has ever cared. Now they will."

He seemed unreasonable so I stopped talking to him. I looked back at Iris, she was celebrating again. Everyone was celebrating again.

For the thousandth time in my life I felt like I needed to act, I felt like I needed to be a hero, not for me, but for the sake of life itself. For the first time in my life I felt truly powerless.


	23. Chapter 23

That afternoon the next mission was supposed to take place, only a few hours after the first. Because of something I had said, out loud, in front of everybody, my relationship with Todd K had been irreparably damaged. Frankly, I had started seeing him as a friend. Frankly, I still do, although it's obvious he doesn't feel the same way. Nevertheless, even with my inimical situation I tried to get myself involved in this second mission. I was going to do everything in my power, which sounds pretty ironic, even though I don't even know, at least not exactly, what ironic means, anyway, I was going to do everything I could to make sure that nobody got hurt, or at least that they didn't die. Of course, succeeding in protecting everyone didn't seem plausible to me, seeing as I didn't have a single pokemon with me, but either way, none of that stopped me from trying.

I went to Todd K and I said to him, I said:

"Let me go with them too."

"No," he replied quickly with his robotic voice. "You had your chance."

"Come on, I'll just watch and learn. I won't interfere."

He grabbed me by the collar really hard, while everyone was watching, and lifted me off of the ground. He was not that tall, it's just that I was very short. I still am.

"Are you trying to mess with me or something? I've been working on this my whole life life! I won't have you ruin it."

"I won't, I promise," I exclaimed with difficulty. Then he released me.

"If I don't want you to go, you shouldn't go," he said, in a more subdued manner.

"Please, you said you only needed people who cared."

"And you betrayed me. It's obvious that you don't care, you were just pretending to secure a place to sleep. Why shouldn't I use you to make sure everyone knows we're serious about this?"

"Wait!" Iris shouted. "I'll vouch for Ash. He's a good friend of mine, he's a good guy in general!"

"He's lying to us," Todd K replied.

"No, I promise you, if he says he cares about the cause, then he really cares about it."

"Didn't you listen to any of the stuff I just said to you, about jeeps and such?" I said to Iris, stupidly, reacting almost unconsciously, trying to screw myself over with my volatile recklessness, which I seem to be perpetually unable to get rid off. I tried to save myself, without outright lying to them. Because I'm not a liar. "Er… I mean, I do care, I genuinely care about you guys, I really do. The last thing I want is for you to to get hurt, but I also want you to be happy. I want that for all of you."

"And I believe you," Iris said.

"I don't care," Todd K rebuffed her.

"I guess I'll vouch for Iris, she has proven herself after all," Jerry said.

"What!" I shouted. "What does he mean by that Iris, what did you do?"

"It means she didn't get scared when we went near a dark alleyway," Jerry answered, "like you did Ash."

Everyone laughed. Suddenly I cared a lot less about them, for a second. When I looked at them again, when I looked at Todd K and Iris again, I just couldn't help but care for them. And I'm pretty sure Todd K saw that in me. Because he let me go with them on the second mission. The team was already prepared, and there was no reason for me to have to prepare for anything, so we were pretty much ready to go. They handed me a stack of Todd K's papers again and we left, while Todd K stared at us silently. I didn't actually look at him, but I'm very sure he was staring at us, more specifically, at me, because I could feel his heavy stare on my back. His cold, blank stare full of mystery.

This time the target was a pokemon center located north of the park. We didn't have to cross the bridge to get there. Jerry was the leader of this second group of kid trainers, and Iris was the second in command. She was supposed to stay at the back, right behind me, however this second group was much more lax about standing in formation, so we just walked there casually without minding our place.

"Hey guys, I want to talk about something, now that we have a bit of time. Our group doesn't have a name," Jerry said. "Whenever my local professor asks me about it I don't know how to refer to us."

"Why did you tell your local professor about us?" Another kid said, sounding reasonably distressed.

"He always asks me about what I'm doing, and I always tell him. I tell him everything. We talk a lot actually, almost everyday. He's dating my mom."

"No he's not," I said.

"Yes he is," Jerry replied. "They've been dating for quite a while actually, almost since I started my journey two years ago."

"No, they aren't dating, shut up Jerry," I continued. I just wanted him to shut up.

"Anyway, Jerry has a point," Iris said. I cut her off.

"No he doesn't."

"Take it easy Ash, wow! What's your problem? I just meant to say we don't have a name. We do need a name for our group."

"How about Freedom Friends?" another kid said. Then the rest of them kept suggesting names and after a while they moved on to criticize each other's suggestions.

"Freedom Buddies?"

"Freedom Society?"

"Of course not! Are you nuts?"

"What? Too long? Then how about F Society for short?"

"No you idiot, it's the society part that's the problem."

"Oh, I see, well then how about Freedom Clan, FC for short?"

"Are we a clan though? Why does it have to emphasize the group and not the cause itself? I think the cause should be the main focus."

"Oh yeah, then how about you actually suggest something instead of just shooting down my proposals?"

"I think it has to do something with the cause, like it's a project. So, Project… Jerry, Project Jerry."

"Jerry, you suck."

"No, I don't."

"How about Project Mayhem?"

"Shut up Jebithan, no."

"We aren't supposed to focus on the mayhem aspect Jebithan."

"Yes we are," said the kid named Jebithan.

"No we aren't, did you even read the thing?" Jerry said angrily, then he walked up to me. "Hand me one of those papers, Ass."

"It's Ash."

"Whatever you freaking loser. See, we are supposed to focus on… on… oh crap! I forgot what we were supposed to do!"

"Burn down the pokemon center," I said, done with life.

"No, not at all Ash," Iris said, like a nurturing mom. "We are supposed to render it permanently nonoperational, with emphasis on permanent."

"And you'll do that by killing Nurse Joy?" I asked.

"No! Not at all silly! That's not our job, we only deal with the pokemon center, and bring back whoever gets in our way."

We had already arrived at the pokemon center when Iris said that. There was an Officer Jenny standing pretty much right next to us on the corner. We were on the sidewalk, looking at the building with the red roof; we stood there quietly for two seconds, weirdly relaxed, and then instinctively turned to her once we sensed her presence. She was staring at us quite adamantly, with her hands on her hips. The kids freaked out and started shouting, Officer Jenny in turn started shouting at us, and made us freak out even more. It all went south before it even began. But then she calmed down all of the sudden, looked straight at me with her big brown eyes, and then pointed at me.

"Ash Ketchum! I've been looking for you," she said.

"You were a cop this whole time? This guy's a cop," a kid said, pointing at me. "He's an undercover cop, get him!"

"No, I'm not, I swear!" I cried. "Remember, that's why I arrived to you in the first place. I was running away from the police!" I knelt down and put my hands behind my head. "I don't even have a pokemon!" I then said. I practically begged. They proceeded to ignore me, thankfully, but also, hurtfully.

Then the kid trainers all called out their pokemon. There was a cyndaquil, an oddish, a chimchar, my friend Axew which belonged to Iris, and a bunch of tepig. Meanwhile Officer Jenny called out a herdier, which was immediately surrounded in a circle. All the fire pokemon ganged up on it, it was totally unfair. And then they shot flamethrowers at it at the same time. The poor Herdier's high pitched cries of pain could only be heard for a second before it was knocked down. It didn't end there. The freaking kids, all of them but Iris, ganged up on Officer Jenny. One of them distracted her by making a monster face which was more funny than scary, with his hands doing the classic threatening pose, while Jerry sneaked behind her crawling on all fours. Then, once Officer Jenny was properly confused, yet another kid pushed her and she fell, thanks to Jerry serving as an obstacle behind her. They proceeded to tie her hands and feet, rather meticulously for a group of insolent kids, then a kid called out his blitzle and they put her carefully on top of it. At the very least they handled her with care, all the while she kept screaming at them and twisting rebelliously, filled with anger. It didn't end there. The kids then made their pokemon fire flamethrowers at the pokemon center, right from where they were standing. It all had gone south. They didn't even get to nail the pages on the corners. Nobody had checked who was inside the pokemon center. The kids were desperate and on the verge of a mental breakdown. They just ordered their pokemon to shoot flamethrowers at the pokemon center. The windows broke again. The place immediately caught on fire.

An older trainer and Nurse Joy came out of the pokemon center coughing, both visibly startled and covered in Ash, I mean ash.

"What do you think you're doing kids?" Nurse Joy exclaimed with significant alarm.

"We are here to give the power back to the people," Jerry replied.

"You're crazy!" the trainer then said, holding his firm fist in front of his chest. He was still a teenager, but was visibly older than us, perhaps even older than me, just a little bit.

"Tamed people need to depict the enemy of civilization as crazy, to delegitimize valid complaints against civilization," Jerry rebuffed him.

"What?"

"Hold on, I have another one," said the kid named Jebithan. "Ahem, New opinions are always suspected and usually opposed without any other reason, but because they are not already common."

"Good one Jebithan."

"Thanks."

"We need to restrain the two of you, you're coming with us."

"No! There's pokemon still inside, we need to save them," Nurse Joy said, worried and agitated.

"I can't let you do this!" said the trainer. "No way! Don't worry Nurse Joy, I'll stop them."

He sounded pretty heroic, I have to say. The moment was set for him to seize it and run with it. Meanwhile I was frozen, watching the situation enfolding from the sidelines, hoping for a resolution that benefited everybody. Sadly, he called out a serperior. The small fire pokemon dastardly surrounded it and shot it down with flamethrowers. Serperior's unconscious head traveled a good distance towards the ground and then bounced a few times when it hit the concrete with eyes closed. The vibe afterwards was vile and unpleasant. Both the trainer, Nurse Joy, and even Officer Jenny, tied up on top of the blitzle, had a look on their faces that perfectly showcased how that wasn't supposed to happen, from how awkward and shocked and disappointed they looked. It was wrong, and I just stared at them, at it, for a while.

Suddenly, two of the kids looked up at the sky very casually. One of them grabbed his head in surprise, and the other one pointed upwards with his mouth fully open. Both Nurse Joy and the trainer looked up, and that's when two other kids sneaked behind them and knocked them down, then tied them up. Another bliztle was called out of its pokeball, and Nurse Joy was carefully placed on top of it. At least they were gentle, and rather respectful when handling her, I have to give that to them. The trainer though, they just tied him up. They didn't actually care for him.

"What about this guy?"

"Anyone else have another relatively fast four-legged pokemon to carry this individual?"

"My name's Ashton," the trainer said, while tied up on the ground.

"Literally no one cares Ass."

"It's Ashton."

"I told you to shut up, obey or I'm hitting you."

"You never told me to shut up," Ashton defiantly protested.

"Well I just did, so obey or I'm hitting you, Ass."

"Jerry, you're being too unnecessarily forceful again, besides, ultimately we do need him on our side."

"I'm sorry Jebithan, it's just, this guy. I want to give him his freedom, his power back, and he's being so unhelpful right now."

"Well it's over now, let's go."

"What do you mean let's go?" I said, and right afterwards I dropped the stack of pages on the ground. "We are not going anywhere."

"Yes we are, I'm the leader of this mission," Jerry said.

"I don't care, we're not going anywhere until we save all of the pokemon still on the pokemon center."

"It's too untenable. Our window of time is long passed."

"I don't care, we're doing it."

"Or what?"

"Or I'll tell your local professor that you let an innocent pokemon die."

"Okay fine," Jerry replied, very quickly.

I was instantly relieved. At the very least the kids weren't totally heartless, not even Jerry, whom I disliked the most out of all of them. I sort of took charge after that.

"Cover your mouths and noses," I said.

We went in, everything was covered in smoke, and the place was almost boiling hot. I could perceive just how awful it felt to be in there, and yet at the same time I didn't care about my surroundings, or at least not about the way they affected my body, specially my face. I'm pretty resilient. Anyway, we took out a little pidove with a broken wing, a sleeping slakoth, and a big crustle, the latter between Iris, Jerry and I. It took us some time, and we looked for more pokemon around but found none; none at all, I made sure. I even almost passed out from inhaling too much smoke, but at least I made sure. Then we took the three pokemon outside and prepared to be arrested, but luckily, for whoever, nobody else had arrived yet. It definitely helped that we weren't exactly in a good part of town. We left the trainer there along with the three convalescent pokemon, and took Officer Jenny and Nurse Joy with us.

Nurse Joy immediately started trying to discourage us from our crazy endeavors. From her voice I could tell she really cared about the kids, and it really hurt her that they were doing such awful things. Everyone ignored her though, even Iris. Everyone ignored Officer Jenny too. I guess Todd K had trained them for that. But he hadn't trained me.

"You're in a lot of trouble kids," Officer Jenny said. "Especially you Ash."

"What did I do?" I said, very exasperated. "Can you please tell me why you have been chasing me all of this time?"

"Your mom is worried. Her name is Delia, correct? Professor Oak called us. She knows you didn't take the plane to Kanto, Ash. That's it. Your mother is worried about you."

"Alright, now that that's settled, please remain quiet ladies," Jerry said.

"Ugh, I don't like this side of you Jerry," Jebithan added.

"I'm sorry, I'll tone it down. But seriously, shut up, all of you. And Ash, deaths are necessary, nobody will care about us any other way. Either get with the program or get… or get…"

"Get good?"

"No, I'm trying to say something that indicates that getting with the program is his only choice, otherwise he'll get… he'll get… yeah, I guess good works. You need to get good about the cause Ash, or otherwise, you'll… die, and not as a free man."

I really hated Jerry in that moment. He was just a kid, a stupid kid who barely knew how to wipe his little butt, and yet I hated him quite a lot. Also, during that moment I was decidedly not well. Everyone knew the mission hadn't been a complete success, even if the overall objective had been completed. So everyone, literally everyone, was quiet on the way back. I knew I had to do something, and I saw no better opportunity to act. I had sort of devised a plan to stop them, to stop all of it, but I still needed to escape that place to even begin to think about that. I got close to Iris and we kind of purposefully lagged behind the rest.

"Iris, you need to help me escape."

"Why Ash? Were you actually lying? Do you not care about the cause? Do you not care about Freedom Buddies?"

"First of all, Freedom Buddies is a stupid name. Second, I don't care about the cause, I care about you, I care about all of you, even Todd K. I care about him, about Archie and Maggie, and especially about you. I don't want to see you do this, look at what you're doing. You'll be partially responsible for innocent people dying."

"Dying?"

"Yes, dying."

"I don't think so."

"Look, if you don't like hearing it, I'll stop saying it, but that doesn't mean it's just not going to happen, because it will happen, and it will be partially your fault. Come on, I need you to trust me. I'll put a stop to it, to all of it. But I need your help."

"I'm not sure."

"Yes you are. I don't want to make this decision for you, I don't want to tell you what to do. But please, you have to do this, if not for you, do it for me. Please, help me escape."

"But society…"

"Iris. Society… Society can… Society can die for all I care."

"Yes, that's the point."

"No, that's not what I mean. Look, there's a lot of words I don't want you to hear, dying is one of them. Maybe randy is another one, although just as a word it's pretty funny. I mean it sounds funny, but anyway, that's not the point. The point is, you can't spend your whole life without learning what dying means, and you definitely can't continue doing this without understanding that you're hurting people. Iris, this is not what you do. This is not what we do, this is not the way. If you keep doing this people will die."

"Please stop saying that."

"You don't like that word, do you? I don't like it either. But it's there, just like everything else you wish wasn't there. It's still there, and people will die, and even if you can't understand that, it will still be your fault. I'm sorry. I, I really care about you. I know you can't just stop. I know they can't stop, but let me try. Maybe, just maybe I can do something, anything."

"Okay, but how?"

"What do you mean how? Iris, you have your pokemon, don't you?"

Iris looked at me decisively with her big brown eyes, she was still a child. I wanted to kiss her forehead, but more importantly, I wanted to save her. I had a problem, I could recognize it, but guess what, at the very least I tried to do something about it; I tried to use my stupid attitude for something I cared for.

I nodded. We looked back at the group and sought to make a clean escape, however we intuited it wouldn't be easy. And we were right, the kids were already wary of us. They shortened the distance between us, even Nurse Joy and Officer Jenny could tell the situation had turned tense.

Nobody said anything, nobody moved, seconds passed. Then Jerry did a slight nod of the head, quite cheekily for a stupid kid, and they all called their pokemon out again. The kid horde approached us menacingly, their pokemon breathed out fire in adorably small doses, although they managed to seem threatening enough. Iris called out her very powerful adult dragonite, which also released fire from its adult nose, and grunted menacingly in return. From afar, the situation seemed pretty evenly matched. Just one of the little young ones would've had no chance whatsoever against the big adult one. However there were a bunch of the little ones, and soon after the unfair battle began it became noticeable that numbers had the advantage. Iris told me to run as the little cheating beasts surrounded Dragonite and covered it in flames. I hesitated, I wasn't going to leave her with them. But she ran with me, and then Dragonite pulled back, but leaving us enough space to escape. With a single thunder punch it knocked out one of the tepigs. Dragonite got the little red-nosed starter right in the belly and sent it flying away, and after that we thought we had a chance. However right after that the rest of the tiny enemies all jumped up in a very synchronized motion and stuck to Dragonite using their teeth, and then Dragonite became unable to hit any of them. It even became unable to fight. Iris told me to run again but I just wouldn't do it. She obviously saw that we weren't going to make it out of there together, that was very mature of her. Still, I just couldn't leave. I saw Dragonite grow irate and impatient as the fire starters all sank their teeth all over its body. Dragonite let out vicious roars, clearly filled with pain, anger, and impotence from its situation which seemed to worsen with every second that passed. Then Dragonite began beating its wings, hoping to somehow release itself from the starters by flying away, while also making the kid horde fall back from the ensuing wind attack at the same time. Dragonite went up in the air as it released even louder roars, and some tepigs did fell off from it during the aerial struggle. Thankfully none of them hit the ground, as the despicably savvy kids called each of their own starters back into their pokeballs before a more lamentable tragedy could occur.

"You're still here? I told you to leave!" Iris exclaimed.

"There's no way I'm going to leave you. Besides, it looks like we might have a chance after all."

"Oh Ash, you're too hopeful for your own good."

"What? Why did you say that?"

"They are too powerful. And there's too many of them. But you can still escape, you can do something about this. I believe in you."

"If you believe in me then you should believe much more in yourself. I don't even have a pokemon with me. You go, find a way to stop them, please."

Iris looked at me strangely. It seemed like she was very angry at me and at the same time she couldn't believe what I was saying. After a full second of staring at me hard she walked towards me and didn't stop. I had no idea of what she was thinking, and so I almost got scared when I saw how she wasn't stopping even though she pretty much had me right in front of her. She grabbed my cheeks and squeezed them really hard, whilst she kept her face pretty close to mine.

"This is no time for you to start doubting yourself. We both know that you're the only one capable of dealing with this."

"Are you serious? Iris, do you have any idea of what I have been doing for… for… for a long time now? Have you been listening to anything I've said these past few days? When I've spoken to you, I mean. And now you tell me that I shouldn't start doubting…"

"Get it together Ash!" She squeezed my cheeks even harder and moved my face even closer to hers. I had my eyes wide open, filled with disbelief and shock in equal amount. And then she continued. "Listen to me. I know you can do this, you know you can do this."

"A few minutes ago you were very keen on getting rid of society."

"That's right. And then you set my mind straight. I can't lie. I have been listening to you, I have been listening to every word you've been saying. I'll do anything for you friend, now go."

She pushed me away really hard, and then shouted at me to go away again, because I wasn't moving. I just kept staring at her. Because what she had said really got to me. It disarmed me and shocked me even more than anything that had happened beforehand. It made me feel like I hadn't felt in a long time, like, beforehand I was empty and then after she said that I was full of goodness, goodness that felt delightful. For a second there I actually thought about getting on one knee and asking Iris to marry me, just from how she made me feel when she said that. Then of course two seconds later I did realize that I felt that way because of how abandoned into my desolation I had become. Still, right then I heard Dragonite's thunderous roars on the sky, and didn't bother to look up. I actually couldn't look up at him. I just kept staring at Iris who told me once more to leave. Then for a second we both got quiet, I kept staring, and then she nodded at me. And then I turned back and ran away. I ran away as fast as I could, and stopped only after I had crossed the bridge. And I was sure they had her by then.


	24. Chapter 24

I had to find Johnny. I knew he'd be close, because I thought, how far can a destitute has-been with a serious leg injury can go in a day?

Anyway, that was my brilliant plan. To find someone else with useful abilities who at least had the remote possibility of achieving something, before I hurt myself. Because I certainly wasn't going to take this matter to the police. I waited for about an hour and then crossed the bridge again, because it didn't make sense to me that Johnny would bother to go back all the way downtown. Also, I knew the kids wouldn't have the patience to keep on searching for me for too long, certainly not for more than an hour. And maybe they didn't even care about me; either way I was right. They were nowhere to be seen. And so I began searching for Johnny around every corner of northwest Castelia; literally around every corner. It seemed to me like I had no other choice.

I searched all around the outskirts and even on the outskirts of the outskirts, all the while being very sneaky but also very thorough, and yet I didn't find him, however, I did get very hurt. My lower limbs already hurt, even my belly hurt a little bit, and that was before I started searching for him. I spent all day looking for him all over Castelia. By the time it had gotten dark and cold out I was in so much pain that I couldn't walk. I had crossed the bridge and gotten rather close to the park downtown, but didn't dare to go farther south again. He was nowhere to be seen, and yet I just knew, perhaps instinctively, that he was the best alternative I had. Within some dark alleyways around the city I found pokemon hideouts too, which mainly contained starter pokemon and some other ones on their basic stages. And I did think of asking them for help, but as soon as I'd start speaking with them whenever I encountered them, they'd react very aggresively before I even said a word, and I was just too tired to try harder. Maybe I had gotten so messed up because I had walked way too much, in any case I was basically dying. Nevertheless, I never actually thought about giving up, which is what I think made the difference in the end. While looking for a place to lay down and rest I found a pokemon center with its front window intact. At first I didn't even consider going in, but after only a few minutes I was more than ready to risk getting caught, just to go in there for a little bit. And so I went in. Come to think of it, that kind of felt like I was giving up, but maybe that's necessary too sometimes. Anyway, just by touching the front door I felt instantly relieved, to my core. I opened it and went inside, and was immediately welcomed by a soothing wave full of warmth. The difference from the outside was so stark at first it was jarring, but after an instant I was pretty relaxed. That said, after I sat on a puffy chair on the corner, and tried to look as inconspicuous as possible, I got really anxious, and kind of regretted having taking that unnecessary risk; although I didn't regret being in there. I looked all around for people who might identify me, either as Ash Ketchum, mom-worrier, as one of the trainers who had torched down a pokemart, or as the weird guy who broke a window from another pokemon center downtown, just a few days ago. Of course I knew nobody really cared, and nobody was paying attention, and yet I couldn't get rid of my anxiousness.

I thought it was all over when the nurse from the counter looked at me, and kept staring. I tried to look like I was not internally dying, and I even had to close my eyes because I knew they would've given me away. Then I opened them for just an instant to look at her, and saw that she was actually walking up to me, and I thought I was done. I closed my eyes again and tried to ignore everything around me, I even ignored as Nurse Joy clearly started talking to me, and trying to get my attention, for as long as I could endure, which was like two seconds. Before I opened my eyes though, I took a deep breath, accepted whatever might happen, and then I just looked up at her. She gave me a big, honest smile and just said hi with her lively voice, that I loved so much. I also loved her light blue eyes very much, right about then. Then she just offered me hot chocolate and a piece of cake, and I just nodded and stayed there while she went to get them. I tried as best as I could to keep it together, or to, at the very least, avoid collapsing right there, because I was being consumed by a wide array of different emotions, one of them a fervent desire to ask her to marry me too. Just her, I mean. I just mean to say I had already felt that way with Iris, and now I felt that way again, and I genuinely felt like I wanted to marry Nurse Joy. Because I'm not stupid, I just want one. Anyway, I had one of the best meals I've ever had right there. It was even better than the pancakes from the brown deerling, located inside the Golden Psyduck, although in retrospective those were good too, screw the feeling of embarrassment. Anyway, before I could finish my chocolate, as I was looking out to the street from the front window, I managed to see a lone bisharp slowly walking by. And I immediately realized that was my only shot. I got up, finished my burning chocolate, burned my tongue, and walked out to the cold. I caught up to him and touched his cold metal shoulder, Bisharp turned around very violently and almost cut me in half. Thankfully he didn't reach my skin with his strike, however, he did get a good cut on my jacket. I had it open, and he got a good horizontal cut on both sides. My first instinct was to get mad, and so at first I did react angrily, but I managed to contain myself an instant later.

"Hey! …I just got it. It's fine," I said. I knew my priorities and, in retrospective, I actually took that rather well. It was just a jacket, is what I forced myself to think. "Where's Johnny? Please, can you tell me where he is?"

The bisharp didn't respond, he just stood still. Then after a few seconds he tilted his head to the side.

"Johnny. You do remember Johnny, right? Really messed up twenty seven year old who likes to bother people with words, wearing all black. Are you the bisharp that saved me? From the gang I mean."

The bisharp nodded positively.

"Great, so where's Johnny?" I asked again, but got nothing, again. "You know, your temporal trainer. The one who ordered you to slash the clothes off of those guys."

The bisharp nodded again.

"Yeah, so where is he?"

He said nothing, and this time he also shrugged his shoulders and raised his hands in a very endearing way, communicating that he had no idea.

"But you do know where he might be, right?"

He nodded.

"Great, can you take me to him?"

The bisharp slowly raised his head at me, and then reached his index finger to his metal chin. Then he nodded.

"Awesome, let's go."

I moved, intending to leave, but the bisharp stayed put. I went back to him, and that's when he reached his open palm to me.

"Are you serious?"

He nodded.

"I don't have any money."

The bisharp started walking away.

"Wait, wait!"

He turned his back to me, I touched his shoulder again. He almost slashed me again, but I managed to evade his strike completely this time. It's not like he actually wanted to hurt me, I think, and he did stay sto listen to me afterwards. But something had changed. I didn't see him in the same light—which was positive—as I did before.

"You have to be kidding me. Why can't anybody do something for somebody else without expecting something in return? This is why Todd K wants to destroy society. Honestly, I have doubts about stopping him right about now. Seriously, even you? Why are you being as complicated as humans? Don't be like them. Wait! Don't go. I'll give you my sneakers, they're pretty cool and expensive. Did you hear me? Expensive. Take them."

The bisharp just took my sneakers, and kept them on his hands as we walked around, looking for Johnny. That seemed like a pretty shameless and insolent gesture from him, he just didn't care. However, I sort of liked that he didn't care. I definitely would've hated it more if he cared about how that made me feel—I would have hated it if he cared about trivial matters the way humans do. Anyway, I had to take my old running shoes from my satchel and put them on, they were decidedly less comfortable.

We failed to locate Johnny at two hobo camps settled under train stations, an abandoned subway station, and a couple of communal trash cans on fire, nevertheless we continued our search. But then after a while I noticed that the bisharp had changed course, and we began to stray further and further south, and I did get kind of nervous. It was only me and him, and I was not an expert in getting wild pokemon to obey me. For some reason he seemed less inclined to talk to me than before, that said, he also seemed much more interested in finding Johnny. It was almost like he had caught Johnny's scent or something, but I just wasn't sure. Bisharp led me all the way to a dark alleyway that looked even darker in the evening.

"What is this?" I asked, right in front of the completely dark alleyway.

Bisharp just pointed at it.

"Are you saying Johnny is in there?"

Bisharp nodded.

"I don't believe you."

Bisharp spoke for the first time, as he pointed at the darkness in front of us again, this time more aggressively. Then he turned around with my sneakers and started walking away. I shouted at him and tried to reach him but he didn't stop, and then I was alone in front of the dark alleyway. My chest felt very heavy.

Of course, I couldn't breathe, and it was cold, and I didn't know what to do. I wanted to go home, I still didn't want to look at my mom, I didn't want to talk to her, and I certainly didn't want her to look at me. All of the sudden, while I was both literally and figuratively frozen there, I started thinking of Bonnie, Clemont's little sister, from Kalos. She seemed to be the only person I remembered fondly right about then. Without thinking, and clearly against my wishes, I took a step towards the darkness, but then I got frozen again. It felt sort of poetic, but, I guess in a more concrete and clear way, it felt dreadful, awful, horrible. I was alone, full of fear, couldn't move, couldn't think of anything that could happen with my life, my future couldn't be more uncertain, and my body was getting progressively colder. And that wouldn't stop until I fell dead on the floor. That would be my end, which is what I was running from—what I had always been running from, was what I had been running towards, all of this time. I was heading to my death while running from it. I didn't want to die, and yet, I didn't understand what it meant to die. Because there are a lot of ways a person can die. Actually dying and getting buried is just one of them. But, anything that takes a part of you away from you, anything that changes you, for better or for worse, is a form of death. And very few other things get you to the grave faster than not accepting that death is inescapable. I guess that is what they mean when they say death is the only certainty. I don't think it's the only certainty, but it sure is one of them. I guess that's also why I've never liked the word death. I used to cringe at the mere mention of it. Death, dying, died, dies. I die. I will die. I will die many times. Anyway, death takes many forms and it comes in many different ways, so even death, in one way or another, leads to something else, and that something else can be good, but whatever. I do wish I could've remained my kid self forever.

I slowly took a deep breath, because if I had taken a fast one, or a regularly paced one, my lungs would've frozen. I closed my eyes, and then accepted whatever came next, and then I went in. As I walked into the darkness the black gradually turned into gray, and I was able to see what was in there a little bit more. Empty trash cans, puddles of pee, end of list. I was very scared and about to cry, and I couldn't look back, my back and my neck were completely rigid, but what I did do was, I stopped walking, because I reached a point where I couldn't see anything in front of me.

"Johnny?" I whispered as loud as I could. "Are you in there?"

"Bloody hell. Am I dead? Well that was rather uneventful, wasn't it? You ought to do something about that. Makes your freshly made guest feel unwelcome. Do you speak English here too mate? That's so disappointing."

"So it is you. You're not dead. Not yet."

"Hurray. With whom do I have the pleasure?"

"It's Ash, Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town, and I just made a deep realization about life."

"Congratulations."

"Thank you. So, what are you doing in there? To be honest you're freaking me out by standing there in the darkness. I'm already very afraid simply for being here."

"…I can't move," Johnny said with a defeated tone.

"Why? What happened?"

"I'll tell you, but first come here and help me."

I was hoping he wouldn't say that, but I also knew he would. I sort of guessed what had happened to him, and it sure saddened me. But anyway, I closed my eyes and went deeper into the darkness. I made him speak again so I could locate him better, he was down, to my left; and I also mentioned again just how scared I was. I found him. At first I touched his head, his messy hair, and he protested. Then I grabbed his shoulders and tried to help him up very delicately, because I knew he was hurt. Slowly, very slowly, he got up and I helped him get out of there. Once we were out of the alleyway and I was able to take a good look at him, I realized just how hurt he really was. An abundant stream of blood had run down from his mouth, his nose was red and some more blood was coming out of it. His cheek was dramatically red and turning purple.

His eyes were already messed up the first time I met him, so there wasn't a lot of change there.

"What happened to you?"

"It seems your friends didn't appreciate my liberating gesture."

"What friends?"

"I'm talking about the gang you idiot. They caught me off guard. It seems they wanted to repay me for so very graciously helping them remove themselves from their clothes."

"Oh jeez."

"Doesn't matter. I've had worse."

"Me too."

"Have you? Well I didn't ask, but thanks for sharing."

"Right, well okay. We need to take you to a Pokemon Center."

"No! Absolutely do not take me there."

"I don't know where any hospital is."

"Yeah, I figured that much. But don't take me there."

"Why?"

"Why do you care? Was that your plan? If so then just drop me on the ground. I was rather comfortable back there. What are you even doing here?"

"I was looking for you. I needed your help."

"My help? You must be truly screwed then."

"I guess I am, in a way we all are. Did you know Todd K wanted to destroy civilized society?"

"Yeah, sure. Wait, was that Todd K? I could've sworn that was Corey T's plan, or T.D.'s, or Ted K's."

"There's a Ted K too? Who are those people?"

"Other blokes who also seek to destroy society. Yeah, I'm pretty sure Corey T also wanted to destroy society. However all of them are rather juvenile and not as well organized as your buddy Todd K."

"We need to do something to stop him," I said.

"We don't need to do anything. We do what we must because we can, because we want to."

"Oh jeez, please not now. We do need to stop him, we do."

"That's right boy, keep trying to convince yourself that you need to do what you think you need to do. That's all you can do anyway. But, why would _I_ care to do anything to stop him?"

"Because you care, like me."

"I doubt any of the arguments with which someone like you can come up could ever persuade me."

"You do care. You care about the kids."

"I do? Hm, I didn't know that. Thank you for telling me something which was previously completely alien to me."

"You do care, you have to. You can't help it."

"Shut up!" Johnny shouted angrily all of the sudden. "Why can't you just leave me here alone?"

"I wish I could, you do need some rest."

"You're a stupid idiot, what do you know about anything?"

I didn't reply. We just kept walking. More specifically, I kept walking and dragging him along while he leaned into me.

"We need to go to the bridge," Johnny said after a bit.

"Why?"

"Do you want me to help or not? Just do as I say."

I wisely shut up and headed to the bridge, we were relatively close. Or at least, that's what I thought at first. When we got there, and only when we actually got there, I realized I had gotten more tired than ever before, probably because I was dragging another human with me, or because I was already very tired to begin with, or, because we actually weren't that close to the bridge when we started walking. Either way I ended up on the ground struggling for air. It didn't matter, and I didn't think much of it, because we got there, and I'm pretty resilient.

Anyway, once we were there Johnny and I went under the bridge and found two groups gathered besides the river. A group of amoonguss, and a group of hobos, each gathered around a trash can on fire. We headed for the amoonguss, but on our way one of the hobos stopped me and grabbed me by the shoulders, and only a few seconds later did I realize it was Cleaved Joe.

"Hey Ash! What brings you by?" he said merrily.

"Hey Cleaved, not much, we're trying to stop a group of kids and a disgraced pokemon professor from destroying civilized society."

"Oh well, good luck. By the way, would you like some homemade Lava Cookies?"

"I thought you could only get those in Hoenn," I said. But then he actually offered me some cookies in a bag and I ate a bunch of them until he took the bag away from me. Then we went for the amoonguss.

Johnny proceeded to sort of talk to them. First he reached his open hand at them, then he moved closer. Then, when the amoonguss ascertained that he didn't mean to hurt them, and they let him get close, he put his hands in his pockets and started smelling the amoonguss, and he did it for quite a while. Then he went back to me.

"What was that?" I asked, very confused.

"I was just asking them something. They'll help us, but they need something first."

"Of course they do. I don't have any money anymore."

"That's fine, they want something specific. You need to get yourself a grass pokemon right about now, and bring it here as soon as you can. We don't have that much time."

"Where am I going to find a grass pokemon?" I asked.

And then Johnny chastised me for a bit. Because I was, technically, a trainer, or at least I had been one for a long time, so I knew how to get a pokemon. More specifically, I knew one way to get one.

So I went out looking for a grass pokemon. Johnny stayed under the bridge resting.

So, I only knew of one way to get myself a pokemon companion, and if I had had the necessary resources, I would've just walked into a pokemart, gotten myself a few pokeballs, and walked into the plains just outside the city. But I didn't have any money. So what I did was, I walked to a corner—it was getting late—and I changed my new, ripped jacket for the previously peed one, because even though the new one had been ripped open by Bisharp, it still looked pretty good. The first one though, the one I had bought myself, looked pretty messed up when compared to the other one, so I knew that would work fine. And so I began asking people for pokeballs. Very soon a serious dude wearing jeans, a red jacket and a red cap walked by.

"Excuse me sir, sorry to bother you tonight, but by any chance, do you have a pokeball to spare?" I asked him.

"Get a job!" he exclaimed. Then he softly threw one at me.

"Thank you for your kindness, I'm sure it will be repaid. Have a swell night!" I replied, with the pokeball in my hands.

The first step of my plan had been completed. All that was left for me was to walk out of the city and into the plains and get my self a friendly grass pokemon. But, here's the thing, I was way too tired to do that. And perhaps, if I'd had the appropriate motivation, I would've gotten a second wind and I would've been able to walk anywhere. But I didn't get it, in fact, by that point I was even getting sleepy.

I laid down on the ground and rested my back on the wall behind me, and that pretty much felt like I was giving up. I was right on the corner, nobody else was there. I grabbed my head with my left hand, I had the pokeball on my right one, and had my right arm extended at the street. All of the sudden it felt like the pokeball had been activated, like something had either gone inside or had come out of it, and I got really excited. But it was nothing, it had been nothing at all. However, after this latest disappointment, as I was sullenly staring at the street, I managed to see a piplup, a blue little piplup, walking down the street by itself in the middle of the night. I guess it wasn't that late, but it was already pretty dark out.

I immediately got up and started following him from a safe distance, and I followed him all the way to its hideout, which was of course located within a dark alleyway. I went in, and was immediately stopped by a small flame which was released pretty much from ground level and right at me. It even reached my pants, however I didn't even feel the heat. It had come from a small, angry torchic. And after just a moment there I was able to see a bunch of starter pokemon standing there, ready to attack me.

"Wait! I come in peace, I promise!" I exclaimed with my hands raised, and open to them.

However they didn't care for that, and visibly readied themselves for another attack. There was a squirtle, the aforementioned piplup and torchic, a treecko, a chespin, and even a buneary, all standing there with big angry eyes, waiting for me to move one inch closer so they could blast me into oblivion.

"I promise, why don't you trust me? The last thing I want to do is to hurt you."

They didn't back down one bit. Obviously they had heard that before. By taking one fairly good look at them I understood they were at least a little experienced, they lived in the city, and had no trainer. I knew perfectly well they didn't want me there, they saw me as nothing but a threat, and I couldn't blame them at all for that. But I wasn't going to leave.

"What are you doing here?" I said. And that was it, they started blasting me.

"Hey! You can continue doing that, you can continue hurting me! But I'm not going to leave. I don't want to hurt you, that's the last thing I want, and if you don't want to believe me, and if you want to keep hitting me, do it! And I'll prove to you that I'm telling the truth."

After I said this I opened my arms and let myself completely open to them. I was completely certain they would stop attacking me, because they were too young to be corrupted enough to keep hitting me like that. And I was right, this time at least. They stopped, but kept their guard up, rightfully.

"I need your help," I said, "some people are going to make a terrible mistake. They are going to hurt innocents, and we must stop them. Please, I don't have much, but I can find a way to help you. I can find a better place for you to live in."

They most likely mocked me, based on the cadence of the cries they answered me with.

"Fine, I understand. You have learned how to take care of yourselves on your own. You don't need people like me. But we need you, and you can help. You don't have to, and I'm not going to tell you that it is what you should do. But please, if you want to do something good for a few people tonight, come with me."

I realized that could've easily sounded like a lie. A lesser person, a complete monster, could lie to pokemon like that and get them to do horrible stuff like that, or just catch them and take them away. Thankfully the little pokemon were smarter than that, and none of them stepped forward at first, which was actually bad for me. So I started turning back with the intention of walking away, and that's when the little chespin cried out and stepped forward. And I internally celebrated. Externally, I looked at them all and almost cried, but I contained myself and then I just nodded, and the little green pokemon nodded decisively back at me. And I got my second wind. And I walked back to the bridge with my back straight and full of energy.

When I got there Johhny had his head, arms and legs bandaged, and was using a pair of messed up crutches to walk. Right after we met with him the group of amoonguss starter running toward us. They surrounded the three of us, got me and Johnny out of the way, and started ganging up on Chespin in a very weird way.

"What are they doing?" I shouted.

"Relax, he'll be fine," Johnny calmly said. "Don't get close to them though, they have spores. Speaking of which, does anyone have a full heal by any chance?"

"I don't have that, but I do have homemade lava cookies, which have the same effect," Cleaved Joe graciously brought forth.

"Perfect," Johnny said, right after the amoonguss released Chespin and left it alone. Chespin was shaking, and pretty scared. Cleaved Joe and I walked up to him and gave him cookies to eat, and he slowly nabbed at them, and, thankfully, after a few awful minutes, he did get better.

"Thanks for taking one for the team chap, you'll be alright," Johnny said.

"Why? Why did you do this?" I said to him as I pushed him, hurting him in the process. I immediately got off of him and regretted my actions.

"Amoonguss love flowers," Johnny said as he adjusted his crutches again.

"No, bugs love flowers!" I cried.

"Amoonguss too, they need flowers, they need nature, they need a good soil and the essential nutrients that only the earth can provide. And our little grass friend here is better than any fresh and fertile soil, the closest of which can only be found miles away from this giant concrete cage."

After this, Chespin I calmed down a bit, just a bit.

"Okay, so that's done, now what?" I said. I was still quite angry.

"Now, that our end of the deal has been fulfilled, it's time for the amoonguss to reciprocate."

And just like that we started walking. The group of amoonguss went first, and Johhny, Chespin and I went behind them. We walked all the way to the outskirts of the outskirts, to the park where the "Freedom Buddies" were settled in, and waited next to an abandoned house located across the street from the camp until it got even darker out and everyone went to sleep.

"Remind me," Johnny said, "why does this one want to destroy society?"

"Because it has taken away our power and control over our lives. Sure, technology and society have their upsides, but they don't outweigh the downsides, which will end up destroying our lives completely; and it is important to add that society and technology have already taken a lot of control and power away from us, he says."

"That's a bunch of garbage," Johnny said. "If you eliminated everything that had a downside to it, most things wouldn't survive. Humans definitely wouldn't."

"So what? Do we do nothing? That's sounds pretty nihilistic to me."

"That's such a reach. I know you just want to win an argument against me Ash. Give up. You know I'm too smart for you."

"I'll never stop, I'll never give up. I know you can't erase evil, but something must be done. Todd K is very smart, and I agree with a lot of what he says. Except the part about hurting innocents."

"What must be done then?"

"I don't know, but something."

"You're such a stupid child. You better grow up soon, before the world ends."

"You sure want the world to end, don't you?"

Johnny paused. "Not as much as this guy apparently."

It got pretty late, and soon later most of the lights on the camp were turned off. So we continued with our plan. The amoonguss slowly surrounded the zone, and surreptitiously crept through the grass. Meanwhile I took off my shirt and put on the old one that I was carrying with me on the satchel, and then fancied the newer one into two impromptu covers for our mouths, one for me and one for Chespin. Johnny for his part used his fancy gray scarf which now had some blood on it. I could've used the old shirts I had to make mouth covers, but I just couldn't forget that they had been peed on, even if they had been thoroughly washed by Elesa's maid and even smelled very good. So there you go. Anyway, the amoonguss soon reached the settlement and started filling it all with spores. They were very good at it, the whole zone got filled with spores pretty quickly, the air even felt heavy for a bit.

We waited until it was obvious that everyone had fallen profoundly asleep. And so we went in fully aware of what we were doing, and of where we were. Even if all we saw there were a bunch of kids and their little pokemon sleeping on the ground, some of them hilariously cuddling with each other, we knew one mistake would get us viciously calcined. Even worse, once the effects of the spore wore down both the kids and Todd K, now separated, would be extremely angry and more than ready to make examples out of us. They'd leave us actually dead. I guess I was scared for Chespin's safety, but not for my own, and I wasn't actually scared, because no matter what happened, no matter how many of them tried to hurt us, I knew I'd survive, because I'm pretty resilient. So we grabbed some of the rope that they had lying around, tied a sleeping Todd K up, and carried him with us all the way back to the hobo camp under the bridge.


	25. Chapter 25

Todd K woke up sooner than we expected. The hobos, including Johnny and I—also practically a hobo—were deeply involved in a serious game of tug-of-war with some of the leftover rope, when he started screaming and twisting around on the ground very violently. He was furious. He immediately understood what was happening. At first our attempts to communicate with him failed miserably, and if we tried to get a little too close to him, to try and reason with him better, he would in turn try to bite our faces off while twisting and twirling around on the ground like a bug. I'll admit, at that point he looked like he belonged in the most feral and primitive kind of nature. At the same time, he was probably the smartest man I'd ever met.

"Let me go!" he growled furiously. He had completely lost his robotic voice. "You can't do this to me!"

"If that were the case, then we wouldn't have been able to do it, and yet, there you are," Johnny said, making Todd K even more furious.

"Please, don't do this to me. You don't understand! If you did, you would be helping me instead!"

"The world can't just start over like you want it to mate."

"I don't want it to start over, I want to return it to its natural state, where we can be free. Where we can once again know what real power is. Where we can once again be in control."

"That's what I'm saying, you don't get a do-over. Nobody does. Everything just keeps going, and it will do so until it ends or something else happens."

"It's just like golf. Golf is the perfect metaphor for life," a hobo added, out of nowhere.

"And, you are?" Johnny asked.

"Hey, how's it going, I'm Jon. Do you golf? I do, I love it. Seriously, it's the perfect metaphor for life. When you hit the ball and it ends on a sand trap, you don't get to start over, you don't get another ball. No, you have to go get your ball and get it out of there yourself. Seriously, you gotta try it. I love golf, I play all the time. I mean, I caddy sometimes, for rich white guys, for twenty bucks an hour."

"Well that's very cool Jon, but right now we have more important matters to attend to."

"Golf is a metaphor for life."

"Shut up Jon."

"If society hadn't been created none of this would've happened," Todd K said, once again with his robotic voice. "We wouldn't be in this horrible situation right now."

"If we hadn't been born none of this would've happened either, but sadly we came into existence, and apparently we must destroy ourselves for it… You can't change the world mate, nobody can."

There was a pause, where everybody there could feel how sad we had gotten because of what Johnny had said.

"Maybe that's true," I said. "Maybe none of us can change the world, and humans, and pokemon too, will always be complicated creatures who do good and bad things and make mistakes and hide things from each other. But at least, something I can do, is, to not let the world ruin me. And believe me, it has tried. I've been beaten down by people, by pokemon, by people dressed as pokemon; by a slightly drunk, tall and definitely attractive woman, by my own angry friend, who definitely had a reason to beat me up, and by a gang, that not only beat me up, but also peed on me. I have seen disturbing things that made me very sad, and I do wish I was still a kid so I could easily ignore this. But guess what, I'm not a kid anymore, and that's a good thing, because now, at the very least I understand, that no matter what happens to me, no matter how many awful things I see on the subway or at the movie theater, I will never give up. I will not let them ruin me."

When I finished speaking all of the hobos started clapping. First Cleaved Joe started with a slow, ceremonious clap that was seconded by Jon, and it all crescendoed into a full on celebratory fit.

"And you know what!" I continued. I had to raise my voice to cope with the clapping. "I agree with a lot of what you say. But hurting innocents is never the way. You can't bend the world to your will Todd."

There was another pause. "...Not with that attitude," Todd K said.

"Well I tried. And I even meant what I said. What do we do now?"

"We continue with my plan," Johnny said. Then he walked up to Todd K, who resumed twirling around violently. It was too much, he even managed to take down Johnny by tackling his crutches away, and the two struggled on the ground for a bit before we separated them.

"See," Johnny said on the ground. "It doesn't matter how much you want to separate yourself from society, or how much you wish to be absolutely, completely independent, and self-reliant, completely in control. It is simply impossible."

And then he opened his hand, and showed us Todd K's very old and wrinkled trainer card.

We all gasped.

"Does anybody have a phone?" Johnny asked.

"No."

"Dude, there's only hobos here."

"I have a phone!" one of the hobos said.

"No!" Todd K shouted very loud. "Whatever you do, don't use a phone!" he pleaded angrily.

"Would you prefer it if we sent a smoke signal?"

"Of course!"

"It's not practical," Johnny said. Then Severed Jaime, the phone's owner, produced an old, giant cellphone which he then handed to Johnny. "Just be careful, there's a chance it might explode," he said. "And try not to take too long. I'm serious, it's for your own good."

"Thank you, I hope his mother hasn't changed her number in forty five years..." Johnny dialed the number on the card and then put the phone by his ear. "Yes... Mrs K? I'm so sorry to bother you tonight but I have your son Todd with me. He got himself involved in a rather dangerous situation and I'm going to need you to come pick him up… Yes, yes… Oh, no, don't worry, he's fine. Yes, everything's fine now. We managed to stop him before any serious tragedy could develop… No, oh no, don't say that, this is definitely not your fault… Oh come on, don't be so hard on yourself. I'm sure you didn't do anything wrong. That's just how sons are. Yes, of course, he'll be waiting for you with his friends under the bridge on the upper west side. Cheerio." He hung up. "And that's how you deal with dangerous individuals who seek to destroy society—ideally."

Todd K stopped moving entirely. The hobos even untied him and sat him with his back resting on a pillar. He closed his eyes and lowered his head, thoroughly defeated.

I went up to him and knelt down right in front of him.

"I'm sorry Todd. I really care a lot about what you told me. I really care a lot about you. And I think you are right about some things, but I just can't let you hurt yourself like this. I just can't."

"Don't waste your life," he whispered slowly with his eyes closed.

"What?" I said. And then he raised his head and looked at me.

"Don't waste your life," he said more clearly, with his robotic voice.

Maybe you can't change the world. But you can try and punch it in the face.

I, for some reason, felt like I could leave, like I could see my mom and I could let her see me again—I knew what she would say—but, here's the thing: I just couldn't leave things as they were in Castelia. I just couldn't. Instead, I, along with the Chespin I had befriended, walked all the way back to the park in the middle of the night.

It was as dark as it could be outside, the moon was completely hidden by clouds. And it was also very cold. Most of the kids were still under the effects of the spore, in fact, all of them but one, were asleep when we got there. They were dispersed neatly all over the grass, and right in the middle of the park their prisoners were also asleep. They had Iris, Officer Jenny, Nurse Joy, and the owner of the store, each of them tied from a hand to the lamppost right at the center. At least the rope was long enough in order for them to be rather comfortable, and so they were also sleeping rather comfortably on the ground.

I just walked right to the center of the park, with my pokemon behind me. I walked casually, as if I weren't putting myself in a lot of danger simply by being near there, all the while I felt a heavy stare directed right at me. I searched for the pair of eyes which I knew were staring at me from somewhere around in the darkness, among the trees, and the tents and the lamppost, and the public bathrooms. And I found the angry eyes, as I walked. It was Jerry, locking eyes with me. Him, from outside the big tent, standing with his arms crossed, I, just walking casually. I knew he didn't have to stand still, as he was, and he didn't have to wait for anything. He could've just ended me right there, one way or another. And he knew that I didn't care.

I guess my presence had an effect on the place, or maybe it was the tangible intensity of our stare down, but regardless of what it was, pretty much right after I settled myself right at the center of the park, all of the kids began to wake up. First they started mumbling unintelligibly, and only faintly; that's how I knew they were regaining consciousness. Then they started getting up in a pretty synchronized way, some of them rubbing their heads, others wiping the drool off of their mouths, but all of them got up as Jerry continued wishing me dead with his eyes. The mass confusion only lasted a few seconds, and soon they were all alert and suspecting of their environment, which just didn't feel the same way as before. I too could notice that very well. They looked around, noticed what was missing, or rather, who was missing, and then continued searching for some sort of clue; looked at Jerry, and then, one by one, they locked their eyes at me. But they all kept silent, and so did I. I wasn't afraid, I didn't care about whether it had been a stupid decision to just walk in there or not, because I knew it was the right one. I was in full control of the situation, and the kids knew it.

"Where's Todd K?" Jebithan asked me directly.

"He's gone. He's fine, he'll be fine, but he's gone. And this is over."

"For you it is," a random kid said. And then some of the rest congratulated him for that nice comeback.

"Shut up!" Jerry said to them, "this is serious, there's no time for jokes."

"Dude, Jerry, take a chill pill bro."

"You're seriously telling me to relax? Todd K is gone for two seconds and you start behaving like this. Unacceptable. Ash, first you'll take us to Todd K, and then—and then, we'll have to kill you."

"Listen to yourself Jerry," I calmly said, "you don't know what that means."

"Try me."

"Do it then, kill me."

"What?" he said, hesitantly. And none of them moved. Instead, I'm pretty sure I could see how their faces changed, and then they were much less sure of what they were doing.

"Do it," I said decisively. "I know what you will do. You're trainers, all of you."

"And you're not, not anymore, Ass."

"But you are, and you're talking about death. It just doesn't make sense, not for you. Look at how far gone you are. You're not savages, you're not murderers. You know, because you've been taught, maybe not that well, but you've been taught."

"We know something has to be done," Archie said. "We had a good plan. We still do."

"Destroy pokemon centers, pokemarts and gyms?" I continued. "You want to go against those who have helped you during your journey—against, perhaps, the only ones who have ever cared for you. You want to destroy them using the strength that they helped you obtain. I know you want to help, but this isn't the way. Don't harm those who want to help you. Don't harm innocents at all. Don't go against the nurses, the professors or the gym leaders, they only want to see you become great. They do everything they can to help you, they do so much for you, they have food for you, don't harm them. I know the system that we have isn't perfect, but to completely destroy it isn't the way to fix it. And you know I'm right, because I'm right, and you know it."

"No. To destroy it completely, is in fact the right thing to do in order to fix it," Jerry said coldly. "It's the only way to make everything right."

"Why do you assume that you can make things absolutely right? Why do you assume that things can be absolutely good? Perfect? Nothing will ever be perfectly good, whatever that is, and regardless, you just can't start it all over; just like with golf."

"What? Anyway… Regardless of all that, you don't have the right to stop us. You can't just appear out of nowhere, cheat like a coward, take our boss away, and expect to change our minds with a nice speech. Moreover, you can't expect to leave here in one piece."

"Yes I do, and I will leave here in one piece," I said. "And yes, I am stupid enough to walk in here like this, but I am also very brave, and certain that I am right. Case and point, even after what I've done tonight, none of you have laid a finger on me or on my Chespin, because, maybe, you can sense that I am right."

"Why did you even come here? Did you think we'd make you our new leader? You know what, you're right. We know we are stupid kids, of course we don't know everything, but you're at least just as stupid as us, perhaps even more stupid."

"So what are you saying? Are you the leader now, Jerry?"

There was a pause. "Yes I am," Jerry said.

"Well, we haven't discussed that," another kid said.

"I'm probably the strongest one here, and we need to take charge if we want to continue with the plan."

"I agree that we need to do something, but now I'm not so sure if I want to continue with the current plan or not, after what Ash said," Jebithan said.

"How dare you Jebithan? Is it really that easy for you to betray Todd K? You're crazy."

"Tamed people need to depict the enemy of society as crazy, to delegitimize valid complaints against society. And by the way, in this case by society I mean this group."

"I can't believe you! You even dare to use our own words against us?"

"Words don't belong to you Jerry. Words don't belong to anyone."

"You know what I mean! Anyway! We'll do what I say, I'm the interim leader until we get Todd K back, and believe me, we will get him back. I say we carry on with his plan as it is. Or is anyone willing to challenge my leadership?"

"I am," I exclaimed. Afterwards all the kids laughed at me. Even Nurse Joy, Officer Jenny and the owner of the store, all of whom I realized were awake by then, laughed at me openly. Iris was also awake, but she didn't laugh at me.

"That was funny, but as I said, there's no time for jokes, so shut up, Ass."

"I am challenging you to a match. You cannot refuse."

"Ah, is that so? Do you fancy yourself a trainer all of the sudden?"

"I have always been a trainer. I have been a trainer for far longer than you have kid."

"You're a kid, you're an old ass kid. And I told you to shut up."

"He's challenged you to a match Jerry," Archie said, "you can't refuse."

"You too Archie? Are you serious?"

"Of course I am. We all are."

"Ah! You know what, I'll humor you Ass. Let's get this done quickly, I'll use this as an opportunity to show everyone why they shouldn't doubt my authority—my interim authority—which will become permanent in case we don't find Todd K—but we'll find him—I assume," Jerry said. And then he began marching towards me holding his chin way high up, and inflating his chest a bit too much, all the while moving his fists forward and backwards very decisively. He tried so hard that he didn't seem threatening at all, because of how funny he looked, walking like that. But I knew better than to underestimate him. I'd have never underestimated any of them. It would've been a far more stupid mistake than walking in there like that.

The kids made a path for Jerry as he walked up to me. I also began walking towards him, and the kids arranged themselves to leave us a good space to battle it out. I made my chespin step forward, he did so firmly and filled with determination—as much determination as could fit within his tiny green body. Afterwards Jerry let out a small chuckle whilst holding a cocky smirk on his face, but right after having made that gesture he realized something, he looked like the hateful idiot who always ends up losing, and so he changed his whole posture. He separated his legs a bit more and raised his right fist in front of his head.

"You'll pay for what you did to our mentor! Ash," Jerry said. And he said it with a clearly intended heroic inflection.

"Is he trying to sound more like a good guy?" One of the kids whispered rather loudly. He obviously wanted everyone to hear.

"No," Jerry replied, "I mean, I don't have to, because we are the good guys."

"You can't just change gears all of the sudden Jerry, not after everything you've said and done," a random kid said. "Honestly, and I mean no offense by this, but you don't fit the hero type to me, you know, with the name calling and the forceful way you tell people to shut up or else they'll get violence."

"Yeah, I kind of want Ash to win now," said another kid.

"Right? He only has a chespin, which he clearly just found. He'll go down after one hit, but man, he's the underdog here for sure."

"No! He's not the underdog, I am," Jerry said, with a more desperate tone. "He's a lot older and has more experience. Hey! What's happening to you, why did you seem to have a change of heart all of the sudden?"

"I don't know. I mean we are kids. And, I guess, if you think about it, it's pretty heroic to recognize your limits and your faults, and we are pretty gullible, because we are kids, and, more than that, I think it's pretty heroic to be open to hearing you're wrong about something… Maybe Ash is right, we shouldn't destroy pokemon centers."

Jerry didn't seem to react to what the kid had said. He just got more serious and then stared at me.

"Well, if Ash is right, then he should be able to defeat me to prove it, shouldn't he?"

"Yeah," the same kid said. "I guess so."

Everyone else seemed to agree, and after this Jerry nodded silently and took out a pokeball. He kissed it and then threw it towards the impromptu battlefield. A gabite came out.

"Of course you have a gabite you loser," I said, instantly tired.

"It's the best, why shouldn't you choose the best?"

"I'll show you," I replied.

We proceeded to walk in circles for a bit, keeping the same distance from one another, delineating the battlefield with our steps, all the way until we reached what we sensed was the perfect position.

"Very well then, gabite, use flamethrower," Jerry said calmly.

"Oh no! He knows how to use flamethrower?" I asked, surprised and suddenly startled.

"Yes, and Earthquake, and Dragon Claw, and Stone Edge."

"Wait!" I cried out. And then I ran to Chespin and placed myself firmly in front of him, with my arms wide open, facing Jerry and his gabite which already some embers pouring out of its mouth.

"Do you give up?"

"No."

"You just did."

"No, I'll never give up, I'll never stop. Continue your attack."

"Come on, Ash, you're embarrassing yourself."

"I don't care, I won't let the fire reach Chespin."

"You can't just walk into the battlefield during a battle, it's against the rules. You've already lost."

"Is that so, show me then. Were is it written?"

"I don't think it has to be written, since it's expected that no one would be stupid enough to try."

"Well I am."

"Of course you are."

"And yet, the battle continues, and I won't move. Go on, tell your pokemon to attack. Think of this as one of my unortodhox tactics."

"You're crazy."

"Oh, you don't say."

"Gabite…"

"Ash!" Archie shouted. "He's going to burn you, get out of the way. The battle won't be stopped just because you're trying to save your pokemon. Either give up or get out of the way."

"No. I never have, and I sure won't start today. On my first day as a Pokemon Trainer I got slashed and battered many times, by many pokemon, and I even got electrocuted by my own pokemon, a few times that day actually, each harder and more painful than the last. And no matter what happens, whether you strike me or not, I know that I will get back up again. I will always get back up again, even if it takes me some time to get up. And tonight, tonight I won't let you take me down, no matter how many of your shamelessly opportunistic tactics you throw at me. So come on, throw whatever you have at me! It doesn't matter, because I swear I'll stay standing."

Jerry looked at me stone-faced for a few seconds. "Who do you think you are? What gives you the right to do this, you idiot? You'll get a good burn for your insolence."

"Won't be my first, won't be my last, and no matter what I won't move. Call me an idiot once more, I dare you. Say I'm weak one more time. I'll stay here regardless."

"Dude, Jerry, you can't seriously still be thinking about torching Ash, right?" Archie said.

"What! Why not? He's cheating, he's a cheating coward!"

"He's a brave cheating coward, and what he said was awesome, and if you torch him you'll ruin everything he said."

"…Although," a kid from the crowd started talking, "if he torches Ash a few times, and then he falls down, but then he gets back up, and then Jerry dastardly torches him again and Ash falls down again, and this time the fire also reaches Chespin and he falls down too, but then Ash gets back up again and then Jerry starts doubting a lot, because he should, I mean at this point he'd be cruelly burning a person to death, and so then Ash wins by staying standing like he said he would, and then we take him to the hospital and stop with our plan like he wanted us to, because he managed to convince us at the expense of his well-being. That sounds cool too, I mean, we'd go with it, if that happened."

Then, after this stupid kid said this, some of the rest audibly agreed with him, and started saying it would be awesome if that happened.

"No, no, I like what Archie said better," I said, a bit scared.

"But you _would_ get up again right? Like you said you would."

"Of course, I meant everything I said, but, maybe it's just for me but for me, I would prefer it if I didn't have to get torched and calcined in order to convince you all. Do I really have to go through that?"

All of the kids lowered their heads and started silently pondering about it.

"I guess not," one kid mercifully—although quite casually—said.

"Okay great," I said as I let out a relieving sigh.

"Wait, no. It's not for you to decide."

"Yes it is," I said. "Because I've won."

"No you haven't!" Jerry said very desperately. He put his open hands over his face very fast and it made a clapping sound, and then he rubbed his face a few times, with a rather exasperated motion. "You haven't won you cheater, why do you think you can always get your way?"

"Because I am ready to suffer, not for me, but for you. To save you, to help you. And you have to accept that there will be times where there's nothing you can do. You can't solve everything."

At this point it was obvious Jerry really wanted to say something, but at the same time he just couldn't. He had his hands made into fists, and his teeth were showing; he was probably grinding them from the anger he obviously felt.

"Look, I think I know how you feel," I said more calmly. "I wanted to save the world, I wanted to change things, to make them better. But there's no way that's ever going to happen. The world will never change, evil will never go away. Things will never go back to the way I want them to be. And what's worse, you can't change it, but it can change you, and it's so easy for it to ruin you. You have very little to defend yourself with. That's why I stopped, I just couldn't go on the way I wanted to. It was impossible. That's why you made yourselves a group, and why you got yourselves a group of pokemon to protect yourselves. Because on your own, you're just weak. Together you are strong, right? Everyone says so, but when you're on your own… then it's obvious, that no one really has any power, none whatsoever. But, but, what I wanted to prove, what I needed to prove; what I proved, is that you can survive on your own. You can stop them from destroying you, all on your own. That's it, it's possible. On your own, you do have some power, you have the power to survive. But it's so much more difficult, it's painful, and unpleasant. And I've done it, and now I'm done. Now I don't need a group to feel powerful, unlike you. I don't need to shout at the world, telling them that I am strong. I don't need anyone to hear me, I don't need anyone to remind me that I am strong. I don't need to change anyone. And they can't change me. Here's the thing, even though evil will never go away, even though we will all die, even though we can't seem to agree on what is better for us, for everyone, and even though we don't have to do anything about it, we also don't have to stop. We can help, we can dare to try and be right, to try and be good. We can hit back at those who instead of trying just want to hurt others. We don't have to stand still."

It was the middle of the night, and for some reason I felt free to leave. I felt like I could see my mom again, and like I could let her see me again without issue. But, here's the thing, I just couldn't leave things as they were. I just couldn't.

"And do you really want to save the world? You may not be able to change it, to make everything be the way you want it to be, the way you think is right, but you don't have to stop. No one has to stop. It's up to you. And I don't know about you, but I won't stop, not anymore. In fact, right now I'm going to go and show some people what I think is right. I know what I'm going to do, and where I'm going to go, and if you want to come with me you can. I'll take you there. What do you say?"

All the kids started clapping and cheering. Chespin and I went to the middle of the park and the rest started lining up behind me. I went for the hostages, untied Iris, Nurse Joy, Officer Jenny, and even the owner of the store.

"You're free to go wherever you want, I guess," I said. "I have something else that I need to do. What will you do Iris?"

"I'm coming with you," she said.

I nodded decisively. Then I looked at Joy and Jenny, both were looking at me weird.

"Where are you taking them?" Officer Jenny said.

"To a hotel downtown."

"Why? What are you planning to do with them Ash?"

"Don't worry, you'll learn about it soon enough I assume."

"You know I can't let you do that, you can try and stop me if you wish, I _will_ try and stop you."

"I won't try. Like you could ever stop us," I said to her, and she didn't say anything back.

Maybe you can't change the world, but you can try and punch it in the face. Just once, before it destroys you.

I let them all go, and Officer Jenny just stood there, quietly pondering about how to deal with the situation. She truly looked powerless. There were just too many savvy kid trainers; Todd K is a very smart man. He got the best of the best.

"Have a nice night," I said to the three adults. Iris had already gathered with the group. She had Jerry on a headlock, and was berating him, probably for ganging up on her and capturing her and tying her up. She wouldn't forget about that, never, but at least Jerry would have a chance to make up for some of it during our next mission, which was about to start.

"Let's go!" I said loudly to the group, then started walking with Chespin alongside me.

"Please be careful," Nurse Joy said while standing next to Officer Jenny.

"Don't worry," I said, "We'll be very careful."

We crossed the bridge, the ground trembled considerably. There were too many of us, and in this case that was useful, if nothing else. Because I knew that if nobody, nobody had agreed to come with me to resolve my personal matter, on a hotel downtown, I would've gone there by myself anyway. I'm sure of it. I'm also sure we looked awesome, walking through the empty streets of Castelia in the dark of night. It probably looked more like a parade than anything else, because there were just too many of us.

On our way downtown I managed to take a look down at the riverside below the bridge. Only Cleaved Joe, Severed Jaime and Jon the hobo were still there, looking up at us with their eyes full of incredulity. No one else was there anymore, just the three of them.

Before we reached the hotel though, I took a quick detour into a dark alleyway, a very specific one located in the upper west side. We rested there for a bit, it was midnight or a bit past midnight, and although the kids were young and full of energy, they were still kids, and so they were prone to get tired. Nevertheless, I knew we had to be quick, so I had to act quickly to convince the rest of the starter pokemon in the alleyway to fight with us.

Chespin and I walked in, leaving all the kids a good, safe distance behind us. I explained to them what I wanted to do, I told them that for one night they would be able to get back at those who had made them shiver and shriek of fear and resentment within a dark alleyway, those who forced them to stay always alert and ready to defend themselves. And each and everyone of them agreed. So when we continued walking downtown, the starter pokemon had joined us, and it was me at the front, now not only with Chespin, but with Torchic and Piplup also there, right behind me.

We got there, and placed ourselves neatly and quietly across the street. From there I could see very well the open doors of the hotel, the dimly lit lobby, and the creepy guy with the bandana and the psychedelic vest and the lips perpetually pursed and the painted-on mole, sitting behind the counter, calmly wondering what seemed to be going on outside. He had no idea. Some hobos and random passersby had gathered some distance away from us, obviously curious about our intentions. Luckily the kids were very smart, and they were quick and eager to tell onlookers to get out of the way if they didn't want to get hurt.

After they moved out of the way there was a quiet moment, which somehow felt very peaceful. I could almost taste the soothing tranquility of a random night in the city, free from the danger lurking behind every shadow. I could've done it alone, none of them could hurt me, no one could. I could let them all go, I could watch them grow away from me, everyone except that guy in front o me, right about then. I took a deep breath, then I started walking with my three new companions right behind me, and the rest of the kids walked behind me. Suddenly I heard a shout from my left. I turned, the kids moved out of the way so I could see where the noise had come from, and to my surprise, which came rather slowly, as the kids, one by one, cleared my field of vision, I found the gang, slowly and cautiously walking towards me. It was a gang, at least. I'm not sure if it was the one that attacked me on the alleyway, I'm not sure if it was the one that tried to attack me before Bisharp intervened, but it was most certainly the one I saw at the nightclub, which was the same one I saw across the street when I was saying my goodbyes to Archie and his friends, next to the pokemon center. They were moving towards us with a commanding air, they wanted us, or at least me, to be afraid of them, but it just wasn't working. And I'm pretty sure that if I had been alone, I wouldn't have been afraid of them either, although there's no way to find out if that's true, because there were just too many of us, we had near absolute power over them and, I'll admit, that felt wickedly great. And so it's easy for me to say that I wouldn't have been afraid of them either way. Instead, they were obviously scared of us, and so they moved very carefully, and spoke rather hesitantly and not loud enough.

"You should've left town," one of them said, probably the leader of that group. He was just as scared as the rest.

"I don't think so," I replied, "I have some pending matters that I need to resolve, which involve you."

"Us? Why?"

"You don't remember, what you did? That's fine. I don't need you to remember any other night, but this one."

The creepy guy inside the hotel tried to lock the front door, but some kids wisely stopped him and broke through. I hesitated about which matter to deal with first.

"Don't worry Ash, we'll deal with these guys," Iris said. "You focus on the hotel."

"I'll stay too, let's teach these guys a lesson," Jerry added.

I thought about about it for a second. I realized I couldn't deal with everybody, and I wasn't doing it for the vicious satisfaction. I really wasn't. I wanted them to get what I knew they deserved, I wanted to see their faces. But if I really cared about it, if I wasn't doing it just to satisfy my own sense of justice, but to satisfy the sense of justice itself, I'd at least leave them under very capable hands. "…Fine. Be careful though, Iris and Jerry. Those guys don't play fair so you'll have to neutralize them, render them temporarily nonoperational, if you will."

Both Jerry and Iris nodded, and then they focused on the gang along with a few other kids, a good number of them. I knew that mentioning the fact that the gang didn't play fair would irk them enough to seek justice their way, and so they did, they surrounded them, and I'll admit my eyes lingered on their scared faces, which towered over their multiple young opponents, for more than they should have. I couldn't help but enjoy the retribution, just a little bit.

I still had a bunch of kids to storm the hotel with. We ran inside and gathered in the lobby, they all called their pokemon out, predominantly tepigs, among other starters. Meanwhile the creepy guy ran upstairs, although it didn't matter; I knew he was trapped. Soon after two giant men came downstairs, they were visibly enraged and ready to fight, however they didn't expect to find us in there, and they were quickly chased outside. That made me very angry. I jumped behind the counter and started breaking every bottle I could find, however I stopped doing that when the kids complained about the smell. Then a third man with a lot of tattoos all over his body and very long hair walked downstairs screaming and swinging a wooden bat. He didn't manage to hit anybody but he also didn't stop. He just kept screaming and growling at us as he kept audibly cutting the wind with the bat. His eyes were wide open and the veins on his tattooed neck looked like they were about to explode. He kept swinging the bat around but kept missing, and had to be hit with a water gun which took his bat away. However he didn't stop, and instead he started swinging his arms around pretty much uncontrollably, as he kept screaming. Three different pokemon tackled him, one after the other, but he didn't move one inch, even though the attacks visibly hit him hard. Then another tepig tried to tackle him too, but he managed to hold on to him with both of his hands as the pokemon hit his belly. He raised Tepig up and started squeezing him and the two continuously screamed. At that point their harrowing voices were the only sounds that could be heard. From either side of him a snivy and a skiddo used vine whip to grab on to his arms, and they separated them from the tepig and to the sides. The man kept screaming as the tepig's trainer ordered his pokemon to strike again, on the knees. Tepid positioned himself and made the crazy man kneel down with the tackle. Then the kids tried to reason with him but it was of no use whatsoever, and so, with a few more pokemon restraining him, they tied him up and covered his mouth, and we left him recoiling on the ground.

I told the kids more dangerous things awaited them upstairs. However, I also told them that some of the people there would be unarmed, and probably naked, so they should stay very alert. We found the laundry room on the ground floor. There was a pale girl, whose arms were also covered in tattoos, playing with her phone while sitting on a stool. She just raised her hands and let us proceed. I told the kids to grab a bunch of towels and use them cover every naked person they found, just then we headed upstairs. They started bursting every door open and taking everyone they found in there outside. They neutralized, with some tackles, everyone who got angry and tried to attack. There were more than a few of those, all of them men. I told Archie to notify me when the hotel had been fully cleared out, and then I went at a quicker pace looking for the creepy guy by myself.

I went around with Chespin, Piplup and Torchic, bursting every door open, barging in every room we found. Some were occupied, some of them weren't.

Inside one of them, on the penultimate floor, I found a young, thin guy on his knees, with his hands raised. He was saying he just wanted a place to stay with his eyes closed. I told him to calm down, and that I was sorry for the trouble I'd caused him. I thought that maybe I'd find more people like him, like me. Because a few nights before that I had stayed there myself, for the same reason as him. But I only found him. I helped him gather his things, he didn't have much stuff. We put all of it in my satchel, and once we were done I gave it to him, and told him to go downstairs quickly, and to say that Ash had sent him if he ran into trouble. And finally I told him to go to the pokemon center and ask for a piece of cake and for a place to stay for the rest of the night. He looked at me very honestly, very honestly scared, and then nodded. I said I was sorry again, and he said thank you very effusively. Before he left though, I took my huntail silly straw out of the satchel, and put it in my jacket. He was the only one I found like that, and I looked everywhere.

I finally found the creepy guy inside a room on the last floor. When I burst the door open a girl came out running and screaming. Inside, there were five guys including him, the other four were half-naked. The creepy guy was holding a knife, luckily I was in the zone. I reacted immediately and went for him. He moved to strike me but didn't, he barely moved his arm, so I got to him and grabbed his arm with both of my hands. I placed myself in front of him, with my back to him, and started struggling, meanwhile with his free hand he grabbed my shoulder and gripped it really hard, then he moved on to my neck, and he gripped it too. That's when I hit him on the rib with my elbow, and then I managed to take his knife away, although I did cut my hand. I threw it out of the room, but then he grabbed me and pushed me down. He was much more heavy than me, and was quite strong. I told my pokemon not too interfere. Meanwhile I don't know what the other guys were doing, they were probably just standing there half-naked, all the while the creepy guy got on top of me and started punching me so hard I had to cover myself in fetal position. Then he got up and started kicking me really hard, and there I was, getting beat up again, harder than ever before. But I wasn't going to give up. As he was kicking my legs I uncovered my face, and started screaming. I screamed as loud as I could right at him, staring at him with my eyes wide open. He kicked me a few times after that, but then he stopped. I kept screaming. He stopped and started walking out of the room. I tried to move very softly and realized I was injured again, but I didn't care, so I waited for the right moment and then got up very quickly and suddenly and hit him on the side of the head as hard as I could. He fell down and then I got on top of him, and started choking him.

"Rotten Slippy!" I shouted. Then the other four guys finally reacted and grabbed me from behind, and immobilized me, although they didn't hit me.

The creepy guy, Rotten Slippy, I assume, got on his knees, grabbed his throat with both of his hands, and started coughing, and did so for quite a while. He actually stopped being enraged for a little bit, and by then he just seemed desperate for air. It was the fact that he had a knife, and he didn't care about it; I was just so angry at him, but at the same time I was glad he was still breathing.

I tried to move but the half-naked guys didn't let me. They held me very tight, they were also quite strong.

"Alright, I'm cool, I'm cool," I said. And then they released me and I stretched my shoulders. Then I took a beat, while the creepy guy was still coughing on the ground. "I lied!" I shouted, and then elbowed someone behind me, right on the jaw, and punched another one in the face. They grabbed me again, knocked me down and beat me up. That last time was the worst beating I'd ever gotten that week, and there were more than a few to choose from. The half-naked men were quick to get angry.

After they were done they left me down on the ground. However, I wasn't done with them. I tried to get up, and didn't manage to do it. They laughed. It didn't matter. I tried to get up a second time, and I managed to do it.

"How stupid are you?" one of them said. "Seriously, you're an idiot. Stay down."

"The stupid thing would be to give up," I said.

"Oh, we beg to differ."

"Of course you beg to differ, you've already given up. You don't know any better."

"Ash!" Archie's voice resounded all through the place. "All the citizens have been safely removed and covered, the threats have been neutralized, and all the floors but one have been cleared!"

"Good!" I shouted, it hurt. "Tell everyone to get out! Gather everyone outside, find a safe place and wait for me!"

"Understood!"

"What are you doing?" Someone said to me, in clear disbelief.

"I must seem very strange to you. You simply can't understand. You must've given up a long time ago. Don't believe me? You'll see."

"What are you gonna do? What is going on outside!"

"I'm going to use my pokemon to even the odds," I said. Everyone in there laughed.

"Those tiny creatures? I'll eat them tomorrow, seriously I will. Promise."

"Of course you say that, you monsters. Torchic, use ember," I said. Everyone laughed again. But Torchic obeyed me, and shot a mildly powerful flame at the wall. "Use it again," I said. "And again, and again, and again, and again. Until this whole place is covered in flames."

It took no time at all, it surprised even me how quickly the fire spread over the place. Although it shouldn't have surprised me, come to think of it, that place was all dry and rotten already. The half-naked men ran away like the cowards they were. The creepy guy was about to do the same, but I grabbed him by the back of his collar and pulled him towards me. I ripped his creepy shirt.

"See, this is what I wanted, this is all I wanted from you and your gang. Now it is a fair fight," I said.

"You're crazy," he said, and then he tried to move, but didn't know what to do. I moved in front of him and punched him in the jaw. He in turn threw a punch at me but I evaded him, and then punched him in the tummy. He grabbed it with his hands and knelt down. We both started sweating profusely, the room had gotten really hot. The walls were on fire and it was spreading all over the place, filling it with smoke in the process.

"Do you admit defeat?" I said. And he said yes. But a few seconds later he attempted an uppercut at my jaw. I evaded it.

"What have you done? You've ruined my business!" he said filled with rage.

"It was already ruined, just like you,"I said, as I stared at him from above. He was breathing heavily, also staring at me, with eyes consumed by wrath.

"You thought I had forgotten, didn't you? No, I never forget, you owed me a fair fight. This is it," I said, and then I punched him in the face before he could do it. He was still very angry, he tried to tackle me but I got out of the way, and he headed for a wall and then his clothes caught on fire. Piplup put him out, and then he just kept his eyes and his mouth wide open and stopped moving at all.

I walked up to him and pointed at him, and then I said, I said. "Don't, send gangs, to fight your battles for you. Don't use a knife, when your opponent doesn't have one. Fight your own battles, and be fair. Okay. We can go."

Then I grabbed him and dragged him out of there with me. Chespin climbed on my head, Torchic on my shoulder, and I held Piplup on my free hand. She paved a way for us, and quickly we managed to reach the lobby, as the fire kept spreading on the hotel.

Coughing, I walked outside the hotel with my pokemon and the creepy guy, as red and blue lights flashed intermittently.

"The place is all clear!" a kid shouted.

Soon after Officer Jenny's voice resounded through a megaphone.

"Ash Ketchum! You're in a lot of trouble," she said. However, she was rather far from me, rather far from the hotel in general. And that was because the kids had gathered all around me, all around the hotel, and they didn't let anyone pass, not even the firemen already there.

"Is anyone hurt?" I asked, slowly.

"Yes," Iris answered.

"Oh no… Who?"

"You Ash. And some other people who tried to hurt us. They tried, they got what was coming to them. You should've let us accompany you. We would've helped you."

"I'm sure you would've, as I'm sure I would've stayed standing either way."

"Dissolve at this instant and go home kids!" Officer Jenny said. She was telling them to go home, because she couldn't prosecute them, because they were kids, and there were too many of them.

"No!" Jerry out of all people shouted. "Shut up, or, our war will continue, with you!"

"Which war are you talking about Jerry?"

"Shut up Chenford! Jeez! I hate you right now."

Some of the kids grabbed Rotten Slippy and took him away from our group, I don't know what happened with him. Then, instead of putting the fire out, the kids finished torching the hotel down, to the horror of every adult there. I wasn't an adult yet, at least not technically, I was on the verge of becoming an adult though, technically. However, at the very least they didn't let the fire spread to the rest of the buildings with the help of their starters. Those were all good kids, or at least they meant well. And also, they didn't let anybody who didn't want to hurt them, get hurt. They started moving as a unit through the street, taking me along, and nobody dared to mess with them, nobody knew what to do about them. They felt utterly powerless against them. I'm sure even more kid trainers had joined us by that point, and more and more kept joining as we walked along, all moved by their sense of justice, I assume.

"What do you think you're doing kids?" Officer Jenny said, stoically, but full of impotence, once we passed by her.

"We did what you should've done a long time ago," Jebithan said to her. And then she became completely silent. And after a little bit everyone around, a lot of people, started clapping, and continued clapping very loud. Even some officers clapped. I managed to notice Roxie was there, she was clapping too, for some reason, along with everyone else, and Bianca was there too. She tried to reach us, and the kids let her through thanks to Iris.

She went over to me and stroked my cheek. And even though I was hurt, it felt very nice. I'm pretty resilient, have I mentioned that? "Ash! What happened?" she said, but she didn't wait for my answer. "Where are you taking him?"

"I don't know, to a pokemon center, maybe," Archie said.

"I don't know if that's the best idea," I said. I didn't feel very conscious, and was getting worse by the second, at least in what I could tell, because nothing really hurt. "I'd like to go into a pokemon center again, but I'm okay if we don't go there, seriously. I do love those places. I really do."

"Don't worry Ash, we'll take you anywhere you want," Archie said. "Thanks to you, now we know exactly what to do."

"What do you mean?" Bianca asked.

"With Ash's guidance we have discovered who our real enemy us. And now we know how we must act in general, and against it."

I could notice how Bianca opened her eyes wide and then looked at me incredulously. I guess that's when she realized that had been my idea. She stopped walking along with us and was soon left behind, staring at me. And it felt awful.

"We're losing him!" someone said.

"No, no, I just want to sleep a little bit," I said. And it was the truth, I really just wanted to sleep, I needed it, in fact.

"No! We can't let him go to sleep or he'll… he'll… die!"

"I won't die, that's not a thing, I'm just tired. I'm really tired."

"We need someone to help him."

"I know, what about Burgh?"

"I don't think he will care for us, someone else."

"Let's just keep walking, we'll find something soon enough," someone finalized. And the last thing I remember was us walking towards the hobo camp under the bridge. And then I went to sleep.


	26. Epilogue

So, the next thing I remember explicitly happening was that I found myself alone, laying down on a bed, in a nice room actually, painted brown and a fancy orange, light but tenuous. The bed was very big and very soft, and so were the sheets. Both were obviously very expensive too, I could tell.

Apparently, Cleaved Joe out of all people noticed me as the group crossed the bridge on their way towards the hideout on the park. He and Iris helped me out while the kids dispersed and prepared to deal with what would unavoidably come next. Iris called Bianca and Burgh, however only Bianca agreed to help me. She's way too good of a person. Anyway, even with her help there was still not much they could do, and I needed to get out of there, fast.

I was basically smuggled out of Castelia, by boat, all the while I was barely conscious. And this was allowed to happen by someone who agreed to help me. Someone did agree to help me, after all that had happened, after all I had done. It was Fantina. Out of all the people that I met with during that crazy week, she was the one who ended up saving me. She took me discreetly, although not really secretly, it was just that not many people cared at that point, with all the stuff that was happening in Castelia at the time, anyway, she took me all the way to her vineyard in Kalos, where I had been resting and recovering for a few days before I realized exactly where I was.

Very few people know I'm here. I have been here for a few weeks, and will probably stay for a lot longer than that. At least until they find a safe way to take me back to Kanto. I really want to go back there, I want to see my mom and my pokemon, and I want them to see me; but at the very least I have already spoken to her, more specifically, I have reassured her that I'm fine, and hopefully I've made her a little less worried about me. I did tell her, my mom, why I had decided to go back in the first place, and why I hadn't taken the plane. And I knew exactly what she'd say. She said it. She said: "You should never give up, just be confident, you can do anything that you set your mind to." She's been saying that to me for the past six years. Hearing that actually helped me a lot, when I was a child. I guess I wouldn't have become what I became if I hadn't heard that a bunch of times. I guess all you can do sometimes is lie to yourself just to keep going. But there are some times where you just can't. And when I grew up I just couldn't believe that, and I didn't see a reason to keep believing it. Maybe she should've told me there were things I just couldn't do. But I don't want to put any blame on my mom. Maybe it was up to me to learn that. It's very cool actually, even if they ruined it, because they've ruined it. But it doesn't matter, because now that I know, I know what I can't do as much as what I can do. Why would that be bad?

I do get visitors though, mostly my friend Misty. I told her everything about what happened, without sparing a single detail, and it seemed like she wasn't that weirded out by it. She also didn't worry too much, which offended me a little bit. In fact she said that it didn't surprise her, coming from me. I guess that's fine. That makes me feel better actually, but I won't say that to her, because she should've been at least a little bit worried about me, I think. Maybe I'll just tell her, maybe she won't even like it, and that would be even better.

I guess Misty isn't the one that visits me the most, it just feels that way because Bonnie, who actually visits me the most, doesn't feel like a visitor at all. Before I took a break from training I came to Kalos for a bit, and entrusted her to take care of what was the most important anything to me. I chose her out of all people because she reminded me of me. I don't know what came first, I think I knew she'd do a good job, so she reminded me of me. Maybe that's it.

When I first heard she was coming to visit I got really anxious, in fact I felt genuine fear. But when she came, she came alone. Don't get me wrong, I was still very happy to see her. She's one of my favorite people in the world, but I was expecting my pokemon to come with her. He hadn't forgiven me for leaving him, and I couldn't blame him.

Pikachu, my best friend, did come to visit a few days ago. I got him when I was ten years old, and I remember that at first I didn't even want him, and he certainly didn't want me. I'm sure we hated each other. Remembering that there was a time where we couldn't stand each other is both funny and weird. He's my best friend, we were inseparable, but every relationship has to hit a rough patch once or twice, and of course it was my fault, but I just couldn't keep going, thinking that I was weak, thinking that everybody thought I was weak, thinking that there was nothing I could do to change that. Because what is there, if all you do is get yourself a pokemon that is considered strong, and then you're strong? And then you have the same pokemon as everyone else. Yeah, I'm in the wrong for sure, I'm just resentful, says I, sarcastically. No, just think about it for a bit. Who would you be on your own, without your pokemon? For a while there Pikachu didn't understand, and then we reached a point where he wanted to leave me too. We couldn't stand each other once again. So I left him with Bonnie.

Since I got here, every day Bonnie has come to visit me. And each day once she arrived, I'd look at her, expectant, and then she'd look at me and nod negatively; he hadn't come.

A few days ago she arrived in the morning. It was a beautiful, clear morning of early spring, and we had the whole vineyard for us. First she went for Chespin, Torchic and Piplup—They had come with me—and then they went out into the green plains. I was a bit tired so I said I'd join them later. And even though I was actually tired I went out some time after them, and followed them from a far. I watched the four of them run all across the vivid green, and then fall on the grass laughing and at the same time without breath. And I cried. I cried a lot actually. They had seen some stuff and yet they were still kids. Torchic had basically burned down a building. On my orders, so it was on me, gladly, just to take it from him. I'm sure he didn't even understand. Cause he's a kid. I joined them on the river. They were crouched down together right next to the riverbank, laughing discreetly. I walked over to them cautiously and asked them what they were doing. They screamed and laughed even more, startling me quite a bit. Then I crouched down with them. Bonnie was holding a small paper boat on her small hand, that was it. I guess it was a big deal, it was. She took off her shoes and dipped into the water, and let the boat loose. Then she went out of the water and started running along the riverbank, following the boat, and then we went after her and started running along too. It was a nice moment and we laughed a lot, up to and until the river reached a slope where the boat got completely inside the water and got neutralized, at which point everyone but me stopped satisfied. I instead went into the river and rescued the completely wet boat.

"What are you doing Ash?" Bonnie said.

"I'm rescuing the boat," I replied.

"Why? It's done. It's useless now."

"I don't think so, you can still use it."

"What for?"

"…I don't know, when it gets dry you can start a fire with it, maybe."

"I guess," she said. Then she went into the water too, and took the boat from me, and started waving it around as she ran through the river. She waved it on the air, and then motioned with her hand like she was going to throw it away, but when she saw that I wasn't reacting and was just standing there, she just went and handed it to me.

Afterwards we walked back to the vineyard and got some berries. The pokemon and Bonnie wanted to eat them straight off of the stem, but I managed to make them take the berries inside and wash them first. I almost didn't want to, they wanted to eat them straight off of the stem and I just wanted them to have everything they wanted. On our way back to the house though, right at the front door, he was waiting for me. Pikachu was there. I could tell he was waiting for me simply by taking one look at him. Although it wasn't just one look, but a lengthy stare, and as I kept my eyes on him I felt like I was back in my own room on Pallet Town, and was about to meet him the next day. And while I was there, still a child, I also knew that he would become my very best friend, my most trusted companion, with just one look. The only one who I shouldn't live without, and yet I had tried. I had left him. And yet he was there, with his pointy ears, with his red cheeks, his plump belly, and his sharp tail. He was there, and at the same time I was the happiest I'd ever been in a long time, I was also in desperate need of him, and I was also about to cry for a lot of reasons. I walked slowly and calmly towards him, and he waited patiently with a benevolent smile on his pouty mouth, until I reached him and he welcomed me with a lively growl. I knelt down right in front of him and stood there until he finally jumped at me and hugged me, and at that point I knew we couldn't be mad at each other, I certainly couldn't. On that moment I knew he had forgiven me for becoming discouraged. But I can't really regret any of what happened, or at least not from what happened to me. A friend like that, you can't lose. A friend like that, doesn't make you feel like you're going to die just because you're not directly close to him every hour of every day. No, he's a real friend. He's my only real friend because I didn't get to make another friend like him. And even after we changed our ways, and even after we were forced to separate because of it, and even if that happens again, he'll still be my only true friend, the only one I want to need. Together we are a society, just the two of us, a couple, a person and a pokemon, but maybe, just maybe, that's the only society anyone really needs. Just two. It's the only one I need, that's for sure. And apparently that's the only one I'll get for now. I guess now if anyone is looking for a society they need to find another someone to form it with, because there's not much of a society left, with what is happening in Castelia, which is spreading all over the world. Somewhere Todd K must be smiling, but maybe not, because we still use technology, and pokemon centers, and pokemarts, and gyms, thankfully. But there seem to be a few less creepy places, and maybe that's good, I don't know, we'll know soon enough I guess. After the trainers of the world stop to recapitulate. At least maybe it will be easier for the two of us to go out and roam, with no one having the time to look for me, for us. Maybe we could go search for Johnny again, or Cleaved Joe, or maybe even Todd K, or someone else who wants to destroy the world. I don't know what they think about it now, and I think I know how to deal with them, maybe, anyway. I'm sure we can also check out a few places where we haven't been, and see how they are dealing with it. I can't help but think that I had something to do with it, with what's happening all over the place. Who knows, but if I did something, and regardless of whether it is my fault or not, I did it by myself, without my best friend. And sure, if I had had Pikachu by my side while I was in Castelia, he probably would've stopped me from being so reckless. He would've saved me from a lot of pain, that's for sure. But see that's the thing, either way, I did it alone, I did it. I may not have an overpowered garchomp, or an overpowered something else, because let's face it, why wouldn't you just get an overpowered anything to feel powerful? Anyway, I endured. I endured. And who said being a hero would be painless?


	27. Nothing This isn't part of the story

Afterword

The story is over, this has nothing to do with it. Thank you for reading it though. I hope it was at least mildly entertaining. I'd rather not say anything else about the story though, except that I had fun with it. With that said you may want to skip this. So, at first I wanted to keep in all the reviews that it got, no matter what they were, but I didn't do it in the end, and erased some of them from the site, although I did copy them. I did this because it bothered me every time I went into the site to upload the next chapter, knowing that they were there. And it would've also bothered me if I saw the number of reviews and remembered the reviews themselves. I don't have ocd or anything but I do have some tendencies and it would've bothered me. And I guess I don't have to excuse myself for erasing guest reviews I don't like, since I'm allowed to do it. I mean that's why the option is there I assume. And I don't think it really is a problem, and hopefully not many people read this and those who do don't see it as any kind of issue, so it doesn't matter, but anyway as I said I copied the reviews:

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The Inquisitor Why Must It Always Die?, Chapter 1

"Why must it always die?"

[referring to the title]

Because it's FUCKING HERESY!

*BLAM*

 **(I'm not exactly sure what they meant by this. I get the thing about Ash not having Pikachu and him losing his initiative—temporarily—but the comment just didn't seem that clear to me)**

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Guest Why Must It Always Die?, Chapter 6

Thank you for writing Ash as the annoying, pathetic loser he truly is. **(** **I can see why you think that, but personally that's not how I see him. I also think people can go through rough times during their life** **)**

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Guest Why Must It Always Die?, Chapter 6

Oh and plz have Trip and May go in a date in front of Ash.

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Guest Why Must It Always Die?, Chapter 6

There's a lack of plot and story **(Yes, and?)**

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Guest Why Must It Always Die?, Chapter 8

this is the dumbest shit i've ever read lmao

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Guest Why Must It Always Die?, Chapter 13

I can't can not really call this an Ash Story without Pikachu **(I agree)**

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Guest Why Must It Always Die?, Chapter 15

That was a pointless Chapter

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Guest Why Must It Always Die?, Chapter 17

Fanfictions Loosely pointless.. You clearly love making ash a loser for no reason. Why is he this way? He provided no real these introduction and explanation for why is like this. For crying out loud where is Pikachu? Nothing about this story is realistic in Pokemon standards. ..Why Did The Gang beat him up? Why did He Simply not make a?Run for it if he knew thwy were Following Him? Why is he Stupid Enough to Travel by himself. Lol. Hr is Not ssn Adult amd Not Strong an Adult.. That part of The Reason Why 10 Year Olds Have Pokemon. Lol.

The story simply has no progress it seems like you just wanted me to loser out of Ash

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Guest Why Must It Always Die?, Chapter 18

What the fuck is this shit? This is just a bunch of randomness. Just delete this (########). **(You either stumbled upon this on this chapter, or you read eighteen chapters** **of it** **and deemed it as such, either way, this** **chapter** **is actually my** **personal** **favorite.)**

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Guest Why Must It Always Die?, Chapter 19

jesus (######) christ these permanent ten year old ash stories are actuall S

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Guest Why Must It Always Die?, Chapter 19

wayy to much (#####!) edgelord ass angstyness lmao

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Guest Why Must It Always Die?, Chapter 23

You're telling me Iris? Can not hamdle a bunch of Novice Trainers?! Dude come on.. **(Hello, it's me, the author. This one particularly bothered me, I mean the rest of this might or might not sound reasonable enough, but, I guess it** **might be** **that I partially failed to explain just how many "novice" trainers were there, because no matter how powerful an individual is, numbers always win. I do not like that but that's the case. I guess I also didn't explain that very well. Furthermore, no matter how young or inexperienced "Novice" "trainers" may seem to you, they are wickedly smart, at least in matters involving pokemon. Anyway, I don't know how warranted the rest of this review might seem, and, at least, I did think about a lot of what you're talking about—and decided to go with it anyway.** **S** **o a part of what you're saying just says that you simply don't like what I did,** **and** **that you don't agree with me, which is fine,** **but this part, at the very least, doesn't seem warranted to me)** This story will not go anyware as long as you keep up this repetitive patter. It Feels as though you have no idea where to take this story. You have intresting concept of ash being in low spirits. But lets Get Real. Ash Is Nit Going To act Thiems Way. He would not forget about His Pokemon and Friends **(You're right)**. Even if he was At Lowest i Do not See Him Traveling Without Pokemon or Barely contacting his Friends. He even Admits They are Family to him. His Mom.. His Friends, and His Pokemon. Then Uou Give Up Foghting For No Reason amd Then Have The Nwrve To Have him Try To Say He Was Close

What was the point of having him follow this pointless Life Stlye. You are destroying his character or Changing his Chracter too much for the Sake of Angst **(Can't a bitch have a temporary low point in his or her life? Just saying)**. That Is Not Angst.. **(** **I never meant this to be an angst story** **)** I feel This Story os almost like the The Bad Stories where Ash's Friends Become Out Of Chracter For No Reason and Betray Him or The World Suddendly Turn against.. Those Stories Honestly Piss Me Off... **(but that's you though—it pisses** _ **You**_ **off. Just saying)** But. I Notice Your Efforts.

Answer Me This Are Really Trying Your Best... I Want Your Story To succeed. However there are too many inconsistencies go acually Take This Story seriously. When you change a character's personality you need to make a proper reason to do so... Agaim Even If Ash Was AtvHis Lowest He Would Not Do Many of Things He Did In Story and I'am Pretty Sure Canon Ash is not Stupid Enougj To leave Himself Defenseless.. He Riaked His Countless Times.. You really Think he woyld Not At least Try to Fight aganinst A Bunch Of Thugs.. Yes He Would probably Get His Ass Kicked.. But Come On! **(My reasoning there was that there were too many of them. He did get up and called them out though, but you just can't do anything against a bunch of people man I'm sorry. At least that's the way I saw it)** But That is Patially The Problem.. He Would Nevwe Travel alone Without Pikachu and/or Any Pokemon.

Based On The Title.. What is Point of This Story.. What is Theme.. I feel That You Have Many Mixed Feeling With This Storu.. Please Take Your Time and Think.. Read The Story That You Have Written **(I'm sorry but I also NEED to point this out.** **Excluding** **the quality of the story,** **I read it constantly as I wrote it, and** **I reread it many, many times,** **until I finished it** **. And I still took the deci** **s** **ions I took. Some chapters I don't like rereading, so I don't reread them** **after a few times** **, the fifteenth in particular. Some other chapters, like a part of sixteen and all of eighteen, I actually enjoy quite a bit—** **some parts I don't like, but** **I didn't bother to change** **them** **cause** **they** **seemed cool and appropriate to me)**. Can You Realate To What I'am Getting at?

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 **(It's all me again)** It's not that I don't understand what you're saying, it's that I just don't see it the same way. Maybe I should see it the same way as you do, but maybe I don't, and, personally, I don't think I do. I like the story the way it is. It's not perfect. From the start it is not, not in any way. And there are some grammatical errors that I have noticed when I reread it but haven't changed. Maybe I will change those, but I don't think I'd like to change anything else. Maybe I will think about it harder for my next story. But maybe, just maybe, I won't, and I mean it in a nice way. Maybe I will just do the same as I did with this one and go as crazy as I want it to be. Because I do want to tell a good story, but I also want to have fun with it.

When someone wrote that I didn't know where to go with the story, and that it seemed repetitive, that was just me having fun with the chapters. That's how my favorite chapters came about. That's how I got what I enjoyed the most, out of it. Maybe I should've done the whole story like that, it would've had a happier tone for sure, but it would've seemed even more aimless maybe. Regardless, I am satisfied with the result, I don't know, maybe some of you are right, maybe I shouldn't be, but I personally think it's okay that I am, and I am.

I definitely messed up some stuff from the very beginning. A lot of it actually. And I carried on with the story nonetheless. By the end, the very end, I got to the point where I could see where I had gone wrong, by myself. But that happened only because I had finished the story. So I'm glad that I kept going even if the story was messed up, because I've learned useful stuff. I think I learned a lot more than I would've learned if I had changed what was wrong with it in the beginning. But I needed to finish the story first. And yet I still wouldn't change anything. I like it as it is, and it's over.

Besides, why on Earth would you want all the stories to be the same? To come out the same? How are we going to get to different stories if we never do anything differently? All the young adult novels are the same, but that's not the only genre there is. Why would anyone want it to be?

Anyway, I don't know how this is coming off. It's just that I actually think about this a lot. I'm not accusing any of you of only reading ya novels, or of wanting all the stories to be the same. Thank you for taking the time to review this story. I can sort of understand what warrants a more extensive review. This is what I think about a lot.

Some stories only invite readers to take a superficial glance at them, not to see past them in a way that requires readers to make an effort. On the other hand, there are other stories which seem like they require readers to use their most richly critical and most skillfully observational eye, regardless of the quality of the story itself. I don't mean to diss the first kind of stories, and I certainly don't look down upon them, I really don't. That's kind of the point. But, when, in a story, Ash gets betrayed, or when any character has a nice picnic in the park with their favorite person, or, when Ash gets together with some of his ladies and has adult fun with them, people don't go, "Yes, but what's the meaning behind it?" or "What is the overarching theme?" or "You're not paying enough attention to the flow of the story, to the intricacies of the plot," or "This setup is bizarre and it doesn't justify itself."

Meanwhile with the second kind of stories, the ones that make reviewers want to dive in deep with their analysis, they are inclined to, sort of, demand the author to make the most appropriate use of narrative and literary devices. And of course, authors do seek improvement, and so do the reviewers. When this kind of conversation ensues, prose gets talked about, proper characterization too, the decisions, the theme, the tone, the conflict. Everything. Again, when reviewers go there, they say that they do so because they care about seeing the author improve.

They might be honest, in fact I've read so many reviews I'm quite sure most of them are. But, I just think there's something else that goes unnoticed, and it renders the reviews just not that helpful. Simply put, regardless of how much the author has left for them to see, the reviewers will call out only what _they_ can see.

Here we have become very good at interpreting stories, if something doesn't add up to the code that we have devised for ourselves to interpret them, then we will point it out.

For example, somewhere around here, there's a story told in first person, from an established character's point of view. Every chapter was written this way, in first person. And in every chapter, as the story was being written, one particular reviewer would always ask the author to add another, different character's point of view to the story, arguing that they wanted to know what was happening inside of that character's head, during the story. Now, changing perspectives on a first person narration, is not uncommon. William Faulkner has done it. It's also not common, at least not as common as changing perspectives on a third person narration. And there are examples when a change of perspective in first person narration is done "right," "officially," but there's always a way to do it. It seems, like what this reviewer wanted was for the author to, in the middle of a chapter, well into the story, add another character's pov and his thoughts for a bit. A few chapters later the author relented, and just wrote –-change of character's Pov- and then we got another pov, mind you, in a story that was predominantly written in first person from an established point of view. All of the sudden it just changed, just for a bit. In this case the reviewer thought it was customary to see that kind of change of perspective all of the sudden, and even thought of his advice as objectively accurate. Of course this isn't the case. The problem that I have with this, is that this same reviewer also talked a lot about the setting being cliché, about needing to add metaphors, to make the sentences run more fluently, to moderate the tone, the pacing and the dialogue length. This reviewer wanted, perhaps genuinely, to help the author improve, in an objective, and accurate, and rigorous manner. However, if that's the case, then they just did a huge disservice to the author. And it was obvious the author didn't mean to put in the second character's pov, until this reviewer suggested it one too many times.

A lot of people also seem to think that receiving constructive criticism is the best way to improve. And they think of this as an absolute certainty. I'm not going to make the same mistake they've made and tell you that I know the absolute truth. However, I don't think it's the best one, I think reading is the best way to improve your writing. Writing can be just as good, of course you're going to mess up, a bunch of times. But, I think reading and writing and reading again, in a vacuum, is better than receiving constructive criticism. Actually, I think constructive criticisms should only be given out and received every once in a while, too many of them and the author just gets indecisive, and can lose track of the whole story, even if it's not "objectively" good. I think an author can learn more from a complete bad story than from a constantly revised, perpetually stagnant, and over-analyzed beginning.

No offense, but how many stories have been completely stunted and abandoned after receiving a "constructive criticism?" How do they want people to get better if they don't let them write? Perhaps, if you let someone mess up the beginning of the story, and you let them continue it like that, the end might seem like it is from a completely different story altogether, but it will probably be much, much helpful, from the practice alone.

That said, I do think I have complained about constructive criticism too much. I have received some good reviews, even in this story, which have helped me quite a bit. And those reviews were good to me even more because they were few and far between, and I had already started the story and knew exactly what I wanted to do with it. If an extensive review had come to me in every single chapter, I would've ignored them all, just cause I can't help but think that would be way too much, and more harmful than helpful. Constructive criticism can be useful, but I just think people have put way too much emphasis on it, and it seems to come, either on the very first chapter of the story—too much right at the beginning—or in every single chapter—just way too much. At leas it seems that way to me.

Outside of this site, on some blogs, I have seen reviews by fans that are just as long as the books they are reviewing. Even on this site, I have seen reviews longer than the chapters they are reviewing.

This is also something that I've been thinking about a lot. When you dissect stories like that, so much, it becomes harder to enjoy them, and harder to notice that you're not enjoying them anymore. A point is reached where you simply can't get any genuine enjoyment out of it. I do see it in some of the reviews here, I think. For them, reading has become all about interpreting every single sentence, to either see what it means, or worse, to see if it makes sense. And it sucks, because people who actually care about this, about this site, or about fiction in general, are prone to succumbing to this even more. It's obvious that they care, so it's even worse when they start interpreting hardcore and lose their ability to experience what they are trying to read.

And I'm not just saying this by the way, there's theory behind it. I don't want to get to wanky, but Martin Heidegger talks about this. To do a terrible job trying to explain what he says with a sentence, which is a horrible thing to do, but whatever, he sort of says that trying to interpret instead of experiencing is a process that conceals as it reveals, and in the real world it leaves us homeless. To me, what he means is that by reducing a piece of fiction into a rational, meticulously ordered thing, you lose your ability to have a real relationship with the story. By looking at something with a strictly critical eye, you can't become immersed in it anymore, because you're outside of it. And so the story loses its meaning.

Sometimes I'd see an extensive, and even useful review that ends with, "You've done a good job," "I can tell that this is well written," "It is well executed," "I can tell how you have improved," "I have to give you credit."

Meanwhile compliments from short reviews usually come as: "This was touching," "That was intense," "I loved it," or they just talk more about how the specifics of the story affected them, what they'd like to see, what made them sad or happy about it.

You just can tell that those who can still enjoy get something out of it. Although, if you do lose your ability to experience, and now you only interpret hardcore, then at least you do get better at interpreting, it's part of the theory. Something good kind of comes out of it, anyway.

What this means to me is that if you want to enjoy, and to experience, a story, and therefore be able to review it in a genuine way, then you should first read it without looking for errors, and even looking past them, to try and see the story within it, before you start dissecting it.

Anyway, this got way too long, far too longer than I've wanted it to. I did want to say more stuff, although not really about the story. I pretty much came up with the ending first, but I'll admit I did a lot of stuff before I got there. I can't say I regret it though. I don't know if this classifies as part of the story. I mean I do talk about the story here a bit, at the beginning and then at the end, for a few sentences, so maybe it can be like a loophole. The part in the middle can be just an over-stretched note. Okay, if you've read this far, thank you. That's all I have to say. I do not hate reviewers. Maybe I'm just pointing out why I'm afraid leave reviews myself. I do think it's a huge responsibility. Okay bye.


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